January 17th, 2008

I Feel Like I Can Fly When I Stand Next To You….

There are some people in this world that make me feel lighter than air when I am around them….like I could soar away on laughter or keep afloat merely by the light that emanates from them.  It sounds cheesy and all that but I’m not quite sure how else to describe it without sounding like a Bronte sister.  I do know that it’s a true rarity that I find such people in my life so I like to recognize it and cherish it when I do.  Yet, while it’s a great thing to allow yourself to be drawn to such people and hopefully light up their lives in some small way, it causes the symptom of over-protectiveness to kick in whether they want it or not.

Let me tell you, the few BFFs that I have can all take care of themselves and I’m under no sort of deluded notion that they need me in their corner as The Great Defender.  So why is it that every time someone even mildly has something negative to say about my friends it becomes The Peacekeeper Wars up in this bitch?  I’m always trying to defend my friends and explain "what they meant by that" or "why they would do such a thing".  The sad truth of the matter is that I don’t really know why my friends do what they do unless they tell me.  I guess that there is just that part of me that knows certain people would not have harmful intentions so when they get slammed for just being who they are, I get a little bit like a lioness…rawr!

I’ve come to realize that one woman’s trash is another one’s treasure.  Oh my god, did I just call my friends "trash"?  I may need to rethink my clichés here for a moment….but you know what I mean, yeah?  Just because someone makes my heart smile does not mean that others can see the same things I see in them.  And that, my dears, is what makes this world such an interesting and diverse place.  So I think I’ll start working on my first change of the new year (besides losing weight, thank you, cause I’ve already lost 7 pounds).  I’m going to stop trying to make people see things my way and/or defending the universe.  I’m going to let the universe defend itself and I’ll just sit back and hold its hand when its done.  Or maybe I’ll bake it cookies…..

Learning To Let Go Kisses,
Me

PS….speaking of great people, both Miss Britt and Kentucky Girl have birthdays today.  Happy Birthday ladies!

Posted in Friendship | Comments (20)

20 Responses to “I Feel Like I Can Fly When I Stand Next To You….”

  1. TSM Says:
    January 17th, 2008 at 7:55 am

    I’m feelin’ ya on this one. I have several friends that are near and dear to me, but others have to get past some characteristics that are not the mainstream ideal of appealing in a friend.

    But me? I look through the hard outer shell to get to the ooey gooey cream filled center. And I love ‘em!

    Whoa…note to self: don’t write before breakfast.

  2. sizzle Says:
    January 17th, 2008 at 8:13 am

    i’m embracing the universe and letting it do its thing too. there is only so much we can control (really only our outlook on it i think) so why not let go? everyone can’t like everyone, that’d be boring. at least we can think of it in terms of, well more for me! ;)

  3. Tracy Lynn Says:
    January 17th, 2008 at 8:19 am

    Acceptance in all it’s forms is a bitch. It is definitely the hardest thing I work on daily.
    And yet, the more I embrace things as they really are, instead of the way I want them to be, the easier my life gets.

    It’s really unfair that that’s true. Bastards.

  4. sue Says:
    January 17th, 2008 at 8:29 am

    I’m glad you posted this. I’m sure there are people who have wondered why someone would be friends with me. I’m never quite what I appear. Always caused me trouble when I was young - think teenager. If you like someone quiet, you’d like me until you got to know me, which is when the more comfortable, “loudmouth”, outgoing me would appear… and if you like someone more outgoing, you’d never get past the shy, tongue-twisted, never-speak-until-spoken-to geeky nerd.

    Have I mentioned I’m contradictory? Yeah… No, not bi-polar (that I know of), nor split personality… just, um, a bit different.

    You still like me, right? ;)

  5. Karl Says:
    January 17th, 2008 at 9:12 am

    I, too, have spent many an hour in White Knight mode…defending others. Lots of times these others weren’t even my friends. Don’t know what that was about, except that I seem to get worked up when others are berated or bullied.

    These days I spent far less time doing the defending thing. Still, if you pick on my friend, I’m going to say something. Probably won’t end up in an all-out war, but I’m going to voice my opinion.

  6. RW Says:
    January 17th, 2008 at 9:30 am

    Letting no one be your friend at all is a good way to avoid feeling the need to defend people, I’ve found.

  7. Nat Says:
    January 17th, 2008 at 9:42 am

    Letting the universe take care of itself. I like that… advice I should follow.

  8. Dagny Says:
    January 17th, 2008 at 10:17 am

    Hmmm. Sounds nice in a theoretical way but sometimes the universe needs a swift kick in the ass. Just sayin’.

  9. Bully Says:
    January 17th, 2008 at 10:29 am

    The interesting thing about having a daughter so like me, is I get to see the unvarnished, unfettered, unabashed version of MYSELF. Her generous heart filled to overflowing for a friend, even to the point of waxing obsessive? yeah. It can be a scarey mirror, as well as a case in point, of what unbridled, pristine optimism looks like.

    Scorpios *are* obsessive, impulsive, giving and loyal. They don’t relinquish anything they care about without a fight. I don’t know what to say about the obsessive personality part, except for it does make us very passionate about people, and things. It’s just the optimism that scares me.

  10. DutchBitch Says:
    January 17th, 2008 at 11:01 am

    I think that’s a great plan for the new year… And Woo fucking Hooo on the 7 pounds!!!

  11. Atomic Bombshell Says:
    January 17th, 2008 at 11:04 am

    Yes. Bake cookies and then send them to me. We wouldn’t want to undo all your hard work. ;)

  12. emmaenlighted Says:
    January 17th, 2008 at 11:45 am

    mmmmm, cookies sound so good right now. Not that I didn’t read your post, I’m all for letting my/your friends defend themselves. But posting that cookies part in the very end just gave me the biggest craving ever.

  13. Bre Says:
    January 17th, 2008 at 11:49 am

    I love your initial description! I have these friends, these wonderful, amazing friends and often times when I’m with them and we’re being stupid I’m so full of joy that I want to burst.

    And you know, if folks don’t love them like I do, well they’re missing out - but I can’t fix that for them!

    Also, 7 pounds! So awesome! What’s working for you?

  14. CuriosityKiller Says:
    January 17th, 2008 at 12:56 pm

    Sometimes, just sometimes - good friends are a better high than any drug out there (I’m always using chemicals as analogies, I gotta grow up soon). And when someone try to bash our comfort and peace and wonderment - oh yeah, the claws automatically snatch out and drew blood before you know it. Friends are good to have. And totally worth defending.

    Despite my graphic talents, I’m a total dud when it comes to blog structures. I’ve been wondering for 47 hours and 58 minutes on what kinda plugins you use to get the comment feed… you’know… that goes back to my email and stuff like that. Hope you don’t mind this technical geek advice. I’ll blog about it - and announce to the entire world that I have no idea what to do… shortly.

  15. SJ Says:
    January 17th, 2008 at 2:25 pm

    There’s just a never-ending flow of drama in the PRB, isn’t there?

    I have a quick-but-short-lived temper, and when anyone disses someone dear to my heart, I tend to react first and think about the consequences later. (Come to think of it, I guess I’m that way about a lot of things!) But you’re right, most adults can fight their own battles. And there’s been a time or two when my irate defense of a friend’s rep/behavior/whatever was not appreciated. I think I need to work on controlling my righteous indignation. Nine times out of ten you can’t change someone’s mindset anyway.

  16. Jeff Says:
    January 17th, 2008 at 4:36 pm

    Sounds like you’re describing loyal friendship to me. Not such a bad thing in my book!

  17. Lisa Says:
    January 17th, 2008 at 6:01 pm

    I love the idea of letting the universe take care of itself. I always tell myself that’s what I’m going to do, and then something happens that makes me lose my mind and I go off on a tirade that I almost always regret when I come off the ceiling!

  18. jflins Says:
    January 17th, 2008 at 7:30 pm

    You made me feel lighter than air when I ?was? a noob and got cyberjumped: you poured kindness and pretty much silenced the special one.

    It’s said that the wise receive correction but (others) reject it. You might take a little heat but can brighten the world for others. I hope you keep on keepin’ on ;)
    “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God” (Matthew 5:9)

  19. lauren Says:
    January 17th, 2008 at 8:44 pm

    I’m fairly liberal, and my best friend is liberal, but my new friend Andy is not, he is very conservative. So I fear when I get them together it will be the same.

  20. Lisa Says:
    January 18th, 2008 at 5:43 pm

    I could have used you in my corner yesterday. {sigh}

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