April 28th, 2008

Know When To Walk Away And When To Run….

I’m not quite sure when it started but I’m guessing it was always there, even from birth.  Like most things, however, it wasn’t really recognizable until I had matured and started seeing the pattern.  At first I wasn’t sure and I wanted to keep record of all occurrences just so that I could make a bold statement using the word "never", which is a huge rarity for me.  So for years, I kept trying and trying yet I’d get the same results every time.  I think by about age 30 is when I realized that it was my "thing", if you will.  What the hell am I talking about?

I. never. win. anything.

Those of you who think this post is fueled by the recent announcement of Dave’s Blogiversary winners would be right however….let me fully explain.  This isn’t about me whining that I didn’t win because let’s face it, that is soooo not my style.  I can buy things from the Artificial Duck Store when it opens AND I already know when he is coming to visit my neck of the woods so yeah, I am all good there.  However, when I diligently emailed him every day, making sure to cross my t’s and dot my i’s, part of me laughed inside because I knew that there was no way in hell that I was going to win a damned thing.  This is not a complaint; it’s simply a fact.  When it comes to raffles, contests, drawings and anything similar to that…I have never once been the winner.  And I really do mean "never".

However, let’s look at the flip side of this coin, shall we?  Every time I go to Vegas and play the slots, I do win.  As a matter of fact, it’s been said that I am the opposite of a "cooler".  One reason for this is that the last time we stayed at the MGM Grand, I would follow pretty much the same pattern every day…..wake up, get dressed, go down the elevators and cut through the progressive slot room to get to the Starbucks inside the casino.  I shit you negative, every morning when I walked by the machines, someone would win a huge payout.  Also, it’s not like I was waking up at the same time every day either….I was a little good luck charm, I was!  But anyway, so yeah….I always always always win at least $1000 when playing slots.

So what in the hell is the universe trying to tell me here?  I mean, talk about mixed messages….how can a woman like me win at slots every time yet never ever ever get her name picked out of a fucking hat?  It baffles the mind.

Four Days Til Philly Kisses,
Me

Posted in Silly Hilly | Comments (35)

35 Responses to “Know When To Walk Away And When To Run….”

  1. Dave2 Says:
    April 28th, 2008 at 11:47 am

    Hey, if it makes you feel any better, I didn’t win anything either! :-)

  2. Karl Says:
    April 28th, 2008 at 11:57 am

    No winnings here, either. I’d be happy to go to Vegas with you, though. Love to win some money. I’s way broke at the moment. And that’s likely to continue through May, what with TC and Dallas coming up shortly.

  3. Marty Mankins Says:
    April 28th, 2008 at 12:23 pm

    No winner in Blogiversary for me either.

    My luck with the slots is breaking even or spreading out the money I have to gamble with over a longer period of time.

    Roulette is another story. I rarely lose at that game.

    Next time you plan a Vegas run (and I have the time to go), you should invite me. I’m a lot of fun, even if I’m not gambling.

  4. Dagny Says:
    April 28th, 2008 at 12:32 pm

    Don’t worry. I never win if it’s a question of pulling my name from a hat either. I have a friend who used to drag me to Tahoe on a regular basis though because I usually bring good luck at the tables. Oh, and don’t let me go play some bingo.

  5. Miss Anne Derstood Says:
    April 28th, 2008 at 12:35 pm

    You think you are a loser? I’ve never been to vegas in the whole of my 43 years. I didn’t start reading blogography till the contests were nearly over. I’ve never won a raffle, a lottery ticket, anything, EVER, EVER, EVER. Hell, I never even won a fish in a bag at a school carnival. I am the lowliest of big fat losers.

  6. Kyrs Says:
    April 28th, 2008 at 12:36 pm

    Well, this T-shirt I won is the third thing in my entire life that I have ever won. I lost every single slot or hand at vegas (though I only went once.) The first thing I ever won was at valentines day when there was a class raffle for a thing full of hershey’s kisses. I started cleaning up my desk while everyone else waited with anticipation. I never win anything, so why the hell did I stop and wait? But I did. I won that. Then lost everything until I went to a 5K where everyone won something (they just had that many prizes…) so I’m not sure if that one counts. But then this t-shirt. That is the ENTIRE list of ANY winnings of any sort I have ever had in my entire life. Hubby wins big crap. Love him, but it pisses me off. He won a living room couch set at the fair two years ago - who does that!??!

    I need to take him to Vegas…. wanna meet us there?

  7. delmer Says:
    April 28th, 2008 at 12:40 pm

    I once got about $2.00 out of a pay phone in Vegas. That night I won more than $50 at Blackjack.

    The next day the phone ate my dime (yes, calls were still a dime in Vegas then) and I lost $20 at the casinos.

    I’m convinced there’s some sort of relationship. Maybe if you can beat the phone company you can beat anybody.

  8. sizzle Says:
    April 28th, 2008 at 12:44 pm

    Suggestion: Next TC should be in Vegas.

    And I’ll meet you at the slots!

  9. Penelope Says:
    April 28th, 2008 at 12:51 pm

    I know you won’t believe me but this is true, I NEVER win anything, and I mean NEVER! When I woke up this morning and saw that I won a shirt in Sir Dave2’s competition I almost had a heart attack! I did exactly as you did, sent off my emails smiling to myself about why bother because I never win. Strange times, I tell you ;o)
    (I’ll be calling you if I ever make it to Vegas though!)

  10. NYCWD Says:
    April 28th, 2008 at 12:55 pm

    I had the same problem. I used to never win stuff at raffles or on Bingo night(hey… Bingo chicks are easy… they just want someone to find their dentures for them in the morning). Still… I’d be hot on slots, blackjack, or no hold’em.

    Then suddenly… I won a raffle prize… and another… and another after that too! Of course… last time I played slots, blackjack, and no hold’em I got hosed.

    Now… I’m lucky if I get the free Egg McMuffin property tile for McDonald’s Monopoly.

    Too bad I don’t eat the egg from McDonald’s.

  11. Nat Says:
    April 28th, 2008 at 12:59 pm

    I’d bitch about never winning anything but I won socks for a post I wrote a few months agao. But in fact I don’t play much, if at all. So all things being equal I guess I do ok. I just don’t win big..

  12. Atomic Bombshell Says:
    April 28th, 2008 at 1:02 pm

    I’m willing to share my winnings with you. Let me know which t-shirt and buttons you want. XOXOX!

  13. Marty Mankins Says:
    April 28th, 2008 at 1:25 pm

    I’ve had my share over the years of winning stuff… radio contests, internet giveaways and the such. It’s a good thing Dave2 will be selling the same stuff on the store so we all feel like winners.

    I really really really like sizzle’s suggestion. TC in Vegas. That’s a must consider.

  14. SJ Says:
    April 28th, 2008 at 1:46 pm

    I’m with Sizzle and Marty - TC 2009 in Vegas!!! I was trying to get into the chat room yesterday to suggest that, but BTR doesn’t like me anymore since I closed my account. Now they won’t let me sign up at all.

    I’m pretty good at winning things by skill, like writing or photography. But luck-based stuff, no way. I only gamble for the fun of the atmosphere, and the free drinks. Although I did win $35 in Atlantic City once.

  15. kim Says:
    April 28th, 2008 at 1:49 pm

    I never win at anything either. Until this year. I won a week of free preschool. Not much fun, but it saved me a couple hundred bucks. And I knew I wouldn’t win at Dave’s because of that free week. Yet somehow I enter every contest with optimism. I’m generally not very optimistic, so I am thinking that I am just stupid when it comes to mentally calculating my odds. I stay away from Vegas for that very reason.
    On the other hand, I am eagerly awaiting the re-opening of The Artificial Duck Store. I want a hat!

  16. Glenda Says:
    April 28th, 2008 at 1:51 pm

    That’s funny..I wrote about my lack of luck on my blog today too! When I really thought about it I realized I didn’t have BAD luck either though, so it’s not as bad as it could be!

  17. kim Says:
    April 28th, 2008 at 1:52 pm

    I really have bad luck. That fucking Kenny Rogers song is stuck in my head.

  18. Stacey Says:
    April 28th, 2008 at 2:41 pm

    I win only things I don’t want (and never TRIED to win in the first place). Like in college, I won a free full body massage. Awesome, right? It might have been, except it was right after my relationship with Nick when I couldn’t stand to have anyone touch me.

    If I have to go to Vegas for work this July, can I borrow you for a day or two?

  19. ajooja Says:
    April 28th, 2008 at 2:51 pm

    I’m still going to buy stuff, even though I lucked out and won the grand prize. I feel so guilty. ;)

  20. adena Says:
    April 28th, 2008 at 3:34 pm

    Can I go to Vegas with you and give you a quarter to play for me?

  21. Eileen Dover Says:
    April 28th, 2008 at 4:17 pm

    I won a meat tray playing bingo when I was 13 at an RSL (Retired Servicemans League) Club in Australia once.

    It was thrilling, salking home a mile, carrying a big styrofoam tray with lamb chops, steaks, ground beef…

    I’ll take slots any day.

  22. Shiny Says:
    April 28th, 2008 at 5:22 pm

    You see — I have an opposite effect. My presence in my office’s regular lottery pool for the MegaMillions jackpot ensures that we will never win. And honestly? I think the office is better for it. If the office were to win, everyone would quit. By my “cooling” of the jackpot potential, I feel like I’m providing a service to maintain cohesion in the workplace.

    You’re welcome, fellow cubicle dwellers…

  23. Shelli Says:
    April 28th, 2008 at 6:17 pm

    I’ll admit it. I am a big baby when I don’t win. I wanna cry. Often I do. Especially when I don’t win on Fab’s blog.

  24. Miss Britt Says:
    April 28th, 2008 at 6:36 pm

    Um… are there slot machines in Philly?

    How far are we going to be from the nearest casino?

    Road trip. You lucky little babe you.

  25. Winter Says:
    April 28th, 2008 at 7:13 pm

    When it’s pure luck involved… I never win. I have only ever won the stuff where you have to use your brain: Over a grand from a radio contest in Victorville were you have to use the clues to unravel a riddle, $25 a name for 4 new areas I named at the cemetery, that kind of thing. If it involves pure luck… I am a Loser.

  26. floatingprincess Says:
    April 28th, 2008 at 7:25 pm

    Take the money and run baby!

    Will you come with me next Vegas girls’ weekend? Since I live in Reno, I rarely gamble anyway. I’ve won something on slots a grand total of one time. I won like $1600 from the Megabucks machine and ended up putting $600 of it back because…hello it’s Megabucks and all I put in was $21. I didn’t win the bazillions, though, so I walked away with the $900 I had left. Not bad, but it’s never happened again.

  27. Foo Says:
    April 28th, 2008 at 7:40 pm

    I never win at gambling, have purchased hundreds of lottery tickets and nothing, but I’m going to look damn good in my new hat :o)

  28. Iron Fist Says:
    April 28th, 2008 at 8:49 pm

    I know what the universe is trying to tell me: take Hilly to Vegas!

  29. kapgar Says:
    April 29th, 2008 at 4:26 am

    You make it sound as though winning a material item is better than the cash you win at slots. You can BUY the item with said money! And I’m with Iron Fist. When is TequilaCon moving to Vegas? You’re my partner there, hon!

  30. Lisa Says:
    April 29th, 2008 at 4:33 am

    You know we could just spend TequilaCon ‘08 planning TequilaCon ‘09 and skip the fun altogether. Someone didn’t have their morning coffee or win a t-shirt in the Blogoversary either…but I’m not bitter. ;)

  31. Göran Says:
    April 29th, 2008 at 6:40 am

    Somehow I feel you should punish Dave! :-)

  32. Avitable Says:
    April 29th, 2008 at 7:55 am

    You’ll eventually win something in one of my contests, I’m sure of it.

  33. John Says:
    April 29th, 2008 at 12:31 pm

    You are definitely not a COOLER honey (LOVE that movie, btw), you’re a HOTTER (?) …HOTTERER (?) …you’re a HOTTIE okay? Perhaps we shall meet on the Strip someday and I will sneakily (sneakily - ??) handcuff you and pull you along from slot to slot to slot. Then we will dine of the $5.99 prime rib special only 8 hotels down at 4 a.m.! HAH. HAH! Yes! Yes. That is a plan. I like it. ; )

    Everybody feels like they never win anything. You are not alone. : )

  34. turnbaby Says:
    April 29th, 2008 at 1:44 pm

    Ooooo I always win at slots too! I guess the best thing Ive won is the Double Headed Fabby Dildo;-)

  35. whall Says:
    April 29th, 2008 at 11:02 pm

    Yeah, but you got to go to disney(land|world) with him. Wait, was that you winning or him? I forget.

    I think I’m going to make a t-shirt of my own.

    “I entered into Dave’s contest at blogography.com and all I DIDN’T GET was this stupid t-shirt”

    hey, it’s funny to me.

    On the 9th day of blogiversary…

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