July 3rd, 2008

Bring On The Tequila….

There’s half of me that really feels like she wants to be in a Playtex tampon commercial right now.  You know…the ones where it’s all about good times because they’re doing fun things like swimming and playing volleyball, and the world is perfect for summer fun (as long as you have your tampon in, of course).  So yeah, I love the summer and the whole idea of it too.  Watermelon colored toenails, sucking on popsicles, running through sprinklers, watching my skin turn a bit darker from the sun, feeling exhausted at the end of the day when I can’t breathe and my eyes are burned from all the chlorine in the pool and oh, waiiiit….

Ahem.

One thing that you may or may not know about most voluptuous vixens like myself is that we’re not exactly fond of the sweltering heat.  I mean yeah, who the fuck actually *is*?  However, the thing is…fluffy girls like me spend way too much time worrying about showing our fat arms or whether or not our shorts actually come down *to* the knee, thus covering up any hint of large curd cottage cheese.  While I’d love to be wholly empowered enough to pretend that these things don’t matter to me, my “fuck it” attitude towards mostly everything else just does not extend to this area of my life.  I’m still trying to change all of that, be a better person and turn the other cheek when my fat gives me the “sass mouth”.

Yesterday, I didn’t even have to try that hard.

I decided to go get a some new tops for my trip up to the Bay Area after learning that we’d be spending a lot of time at outdoor festivities.  I reluctantly gathered up 10 tees, tanks and tunics, wondering if any of them would even slightly fit or look good. I fully expected to come out of the dressing room highly pissed off, hating myself, and breaking my cardinal new rule by calling myself a fat ass.  The first shirt I tried on was this sexy empire waist, flowy, draped sleeveless top that we will now refer to as the blue boobie shirt.  Holy crap!  I could not believe how damned sexy this top looked on me, fat arms and all!  ”Hrm, fluke”, I thought.  Then I tried on another shirt, and another and another and when all was said and done, I actually *liked* 8 out of the 10 tops.  Yep, thought I looked great in them.

Pardon me, but will the real Hilly please stand up?

Seriously, you simply cannot imagine the elation I felt when I went and put back all the tops I wasn’t going to buy for financial reasons, not self-loathing reasons.  And yes, I went and put them back instead of handing them to the girl because well…I guess it was sort of empowering in a way.  After paying for the two shirts that I actually could afford to buy, I sashayed out to my car as if the world were a much brighter place and I was almost ready to be the star in my own tampon commercial…*snort*.  I was trying to figure out how the clothing industry had finally “got it” and who I could call to thank them for making sexy plus sized tanks when it dawned on me.

Hey, I like myself!

It doesn’t matter that I am imperfect…at least not today.  There’s no reason to stay home and hide behind my fat when I can be out enjoying all of the little pleasures that life has to offer, even in the fucking hot hot heat.  It’s the summer, bitches…and this is the time to be living, breathing, skipping, and just enjoying life while we can!  This is the time to have fun with friends and tell anyone that looks at my fat arms to fuck off and kiss my voluptuous plumper of an ass if they don’t like what they see.  I’m beautiful and dammit, I am going to start acting like it.  No more self-loathing…at least not today.

On that positive note, I bid you all adieu for the long weekend.  As some of you know, I am trekking up to see Jester and Company in the Bay Area and will be without my laptop..*twitch*.  My plan is to enjoy their company, spread the love and laughter and maybe, just mayyyyybe, drink a little booze.  *Cough*.  I hope you all have a fantastic weekend and remember to love yourselves no matter what.  Ignore your imperfections and just be happy….for me?  Okay, how about for you?

See You In Oz Kisses,
Me

Posted in Hilly's Life 2008, Redefining Hilly | Comments (34)

34 Responses to “Bring On The Tequila….”

  1. Winter Says:
    July 3rd, 2008 at 12:33 am

    Good for you, Hilly! You should really jump off the 5 at 17th and use that coupon too because at 2 for $10, Avenue has some unbeatably priced, nice looking tanks. If I didn’t have to pay rent, I’d be dropping $20 for sure there!

    Have a great time at Jester’s! I’ll be watching for your twats! (I’m stuck at home monster, er kitten sitting by myself the whole 3 days. Motley will be home after the weekend, I think.)

    Winters last blog post..Journeys

  2. Iron Fist Says:
    July 3rd, 2008 at 12:50 am

    You know, I haven’t even read this entry yet but I noticed that I’m a top comment whore for July. Fuck yeah! And after I celebrate with some “me time” I’ll be back to comment again! (this time relevant to the post.)

  3. Mrs. F Says:
    July 3rd, 2008 at 4:23 am

    I try to love me, then I get a glimpse at a photo of me, which usually bursts my bubble and ruins my day.

    It sucks, but it is what it is.

    I am working so hard at this self-acceptance thing, especially since I will be 30 in November and I feel like I just need to start being me, no matter what…working on it, I tell you!

    Mrs. Fs last blog post..In The Depths of Mindless Drivel

  4. Dave2 Says:
    July 3rd, 2008 at 4:40 am

    I’m going for a feminine hygiene commercial myself… “fresh as a Summer’s Eve!”

    Dave2s last blog post..Tomato!

  5. hello haha narf Says:
    July 3rd, 2008 at 6:17 am

    i might love myself more if you told me where to get a sexy blue boobie top that i would promise to never wear when you might be wearing yours. :)

    please have a magnificent time at jester’s for me. squeeze him hard. umb and othurme also, please. i’m trying so hard not to be jealous and i think i have turned the corner to pure happiness for you. enjoy! (and have a drink for me on my birthday. thanks. xoxo)

    hello haha narfs last blog post..HNT - Britt, Karl and Others Star in My 11th Half Nekkid Post!

  6. Hilly Says:
    July 3rd, 2008 at 6:29 am

    Winter: Thanks for that email about the tops and yay for Motley coming back!

    Vahid: Did you celebrate your whoredom to the fullest and if so…details, please. ;)

    Mrs. F: Please don’t let me fool you…I do the same things. I think I am just owning these moments as best I can so that maybe one stinking day, a photo of myself won’t crush me quite as hard.

    Dave: After you give a nice hard DaveCock, you toally *need* to make it fresh! DaveCock - the freshmaker.

    Narfy: Sister, I will drink, jump, lick, kiss then drink again in your honor on your birthday!!! I got the boobie top at Mervyn’s of all places…whoda thunk it?

  7. *pixie* Says:
    July 3rd, 2008 at 6:33 am

    “I reluctantly gathered up 10 tees, tanks and tunics, wondering if any of them would even slightly fit or look good. I fully expected to come out of the dressing room highly pissed off, hating myself, and breaking my cardinal new rule by calling myself a fat ass.”

    This is me EVERY TIME I GO SHOPPING. I hate it with a passion.

    *pixie*s last blog post..shit

  8. Mrs Mogul Says:
    July 3rd, 2008 at 6:44 am

    I’ll be relaxing with my hub as he has a 3 day weekend! YAY! maybe do some shopping and snacking!

    Mrs Moguls last blog post..Baby stuff, Lourdes has to ride a bike, and men fashion

  9. Miss Britt Says:
    July 3rd, 2008 at 6:49 am

    Ohhhh the irony.

    I am HATING myself today because NONE OF MY FUCKING JEANS FIT.

    Argh.

    Have fun this weekend!

    Miss Britts last blog post..The New York City Recap That Will Never End*

  10. Mindy Says:
    July 3rd, 2008 at 6:50 am

    Y’know when you start looking at yourself in a different light, others see you in that same light as well. I didn’t believe until I actually changed my opinions about myself. And eventually the weight also started to come off. It still is and I am much happier for it.

    Mindys last blog post..Spending time with friends…

  11. radioactive tori Says:
    July 3rd, 2008 at 7:16 am

    I don’t really think it matters what size you are, it has more to do with what you feel inside. I routinely buy a ton of new clothes and then take them all back because I hate how they look on me and nothing looks right. That always happens when I am feeling insecure about something else. When I am feeling good about things, everything always seems to fit and look good. I know this, and yet can not seem to stop myself from the negative self talk sometimes.

    Good for you for knowing you are awesome and beautiful. I hope you have a wonderful weekend!

    radioactive toris last blog post..This Is Me

  12. Dragon Says:
    July 3rd, 2008 at 7:25 am

    Damn, now I want a sexy blue boobie top. We need pictures of this top, my dear Hilly.

    Have a great long weekend. Watch out for that Jester dude; I hear he’s trouble.

    Dragons last blog post..Raspberry & Watermelon Sparkling Ice Tea

  13. Iron Fist Says:
    July 3rd, 2008 at 7:36 am

    I could not help but notice that you reference a blue boobie shirt, but did not include any pictures of said shirt, or more importantly, of boobies. You know how the saying goes, a picture of boobies is worth a thousand words (about boobies).

  14. Iron Fist Says:
    July 3rd, 2008 at 7:38 am

    Now I’m commenting again just for kicks, because I have the highest whore number and want to see it go up again. I wonder if I have enough time to celebrate with some more you-know-what before I have to go to the office? I know they frown upon me doing that sort of thing at work anymore, ever since — well, never mind.

  15. Employee No. 3699 Says:
    July 3rd, 2008 at 7:38 am

    Hope you have a sexy blue boobilicious weekend!

    Employee No. 3699s last blog post..Road Ettiquette…

  16. Finn Says:
    July 3rd, 2008 at 7:51 am

    Funny how the little things can make or break us for a day. Drink a toast to the blue boobie shirt (please take photos — is it dark blue? Because that would look awesome with your coloring.) and to your independence from crappy self image.

    Have a wonderful weekend!

    Finns last blog post..Thursday Photo: Six, Five, Four, Three

  17. sizzle Says:
    July 3rd, 2008 at 7:57 am

    That’s an awesome feeling. I wish it wasn’t so rare but still SO GREAT when it does happen. YAY!

    Have a great time with Jester.

    sizzles last blog post..Where I Call “Home”

  18. suze Says:
    July 3rd, 2008 at 8:05 am

    Yay for liking yourself :) It’s a wonderful feeling!!

    And yay for cute summery tops. And for long weekends with friends and good company. Have a great time.

    suzes last blog post..too tired to come up with a witty title…

  19. Lady Jaye Says:
    July 3rd, 2008 at 8:34 am

    I am so pleased for you! I had that experience yesterday as well. I bought a dress that makes me feel like a complete goddess. I normally hate myself after trying on clothes but it’s amazing what a good day of shopping can do for the soul. Have a great weekend!

    Lady Jayes last blog post..Here We Go Again!

  20. foo Says:
    July 3rd, 2008 at 9:06 am

    So a positive attitude could potentially = more clothes? Can’t wait to gentle glide through Old Navy for some shorts. I’ll be hoping for the same success. Glad you found the magic ticket. Call this weekend or I will hunt you down!

    foos last blog post..The waiting game…

  21. Hilly Says:
    July 3rd, 2008 at 9:28 am

    pixie: Normally me too; I have no idea what came over me.

    Mrs. Mogul: Yay for snacking and chilling!

    Britt: I hate your jeans FOR you, those fuckers!

    Mindy: That is the one thing I’ve finally started to grasp. I tend to walk around all self-confident and people notice that stuff…I never really thought about that til it was mentioned.

    Tori: Totally true! It might have been different on a totally different day. Happy weekend to you too!

    Dragon: I may be just as much trouble as he is though! And there will be an overkill of pics.

    Vahid: You keep talking about my boobies and your whore number and *I* may be looking for a little “free time” at work myself. ;)

    3699: You too, sistah!

    Finn: It’s more like a dark teal blue, which is one of the colors I can wear with a smile. Have a fantastic holiday!

    Sizzle: And we have to seize it while we can, right?

    suze: And yay for YOU!

    Lady Jaye: Congrats on happiness in the dressing room too! Ahhh, that feeling should be bottled.

    Foo: Beyotch, I just emailed you!

  22. Chris Says:
    July 3rd, 2008 at 9:47 am

    Yay Hilly, that’s exciting news! Have a great time with Jester and knock back a few shots with him and UMB for me! :twisted:

    Chriss last blog post..Tell me where to go!

  23. Poppy Says:
    July 3rd, 2008 at 10:09 am

    I have a snarky comment about how your beauty shines through when you stop letting yourself or others bring you down. Pretend I wrote that.

    Have a great time with Jester and Company! And… drink some tequila for me. Last weekend I meant to drink some but all I ended up drinking was beer. (Beer before liquor, never been sicker, so I stuck with beer.)

    Poppys last blog post..postless

  24. Turnbaby Says:
    July 3rd, 2008 at 10:21 am

    Have a great time in your sexay blue boobie shirt sugar. Just think of all the joy you will spread;-)

    Turnbabys last blog post..Half Nekkid Thursday Edition No. 15

  25. Turnbaby Says:
    July 3rd, 2008 at 10:23 am

    *pay no attention to me subscribing* :cool:

  26. whall Says:
    July 3rd, 2008 at 11:26 am

    Reminds me of Lethal Weapon where Danny Glover’s daughter is in a condom commercial and a cop buddy says ‘makes me want to go out and buy a condom right now”

    I think I need some stay-free.

  27. Avitable Says:
    July 3rd, 2008 at 11:34 am

    Yay for no self-loathing! And this weekend is gonna kick ass.

  28. Nat Says:
    July 3rd, 2008 at 12:08 pm

    I know exactly what you mean. I had a similar experience last Saturday (shopping in a hurry no less.)

    I also saw photos and I thought… you know… I’m not nearly as fat as I think I am.

    Have a wonderful 4th of July.

  29. Lisa Says:
    July 3rd, 2008 at 12:29 pm

    Girl, I’m pretty sure you could wear a potato sack and still look hawt!!

    Lisas last blog post..8 years ago

  30. B.E. Earl Says:
    July 3rd, 2008 at 1:14 pm

    I’m buying a buttload of “blue boobie” shirts for my girlfriend this weekend. Rowr!

    And I second the tequila motion. Bring it on, bitches!!!

  31. Bec Says:
    July 3rd, 2008 at 3:43 pm

    So you could get better looking? My God, woman, you really are out to make it unfair for the rest of us, aren’t you?!

    Yes, we must see the top so we can see what we have to aspire to being!

    Becs last blog post..Avoidance

  32. Sarah Says:
    July 3rd, 2008 at 7:15 pm

    That’s awesome! I love it when I look good in jeans and working for a retail store I love it when customers who usually think they look horrid in clothes come out of the fitting rooms all happy that they look good in stuff I picked out for them.
    Have an awesome weekend! I’m sure you will.

  33. Göran Says:
    July 4th, 2008 at 3:15 am

    no picture proof? *hmphf*
    Have a GREAT weekend!

    :-)

    Görans last blog post..Interlude

  34. Tori Says:
    July 4th, 2008 at 11:52 am

    Can’t wait to see the pictures! Have a great weekend!

    Toris last blog post..the one where I act like a 12 year old…

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