July 16th, 2008

Let My Words Hit The Floor….

Last night after we returned from some crazy mission (thanks, Karl), I sat down in an attempt to write a blog post.  I started one topic, deleted it, then another, and deleted that too.  I then realized that I am just not good at writing recap posts…not at all.  I’ve always struggled with the concept of “first we went here, then we did this, then we ate that, then we laughed, then I went tinkle”.  I dunno, maybe I am just not talented enough to take shit like that off of the mundane shelf and put it up on the faboo one.  But let’s get something straight…I am not judging people who write posts like that at all.  I’m just saying that it’s not me and I struggle with it all of the time.  Therefore, you’ll probably want to check out Karl’s blog more than mine if you actually care about the stuff that we do each day.  Hrm, then again….he always paints me in this light that makes me look a little bit wild and yanno, crazy.

I will say that it is absolutely fabulous to have him here for his yearly visit.  I have no idea why, considering he’s been such a grumpy bitch lately but, Karl’s presence seems to light up my house, making it feel more like a home.  Part of that may be due to the fact that Shawn genuinely likes him and has fun doing the witty banter crap (and by “witty banter”, I mean “poking fun at Hilly”).  Another part of it may be that I just like having good friends around, especially during times that seem a little trying.  In case you haven’t picked up on it, this period in my life is indeed “trying times ten”.  In any case, I went to bed last night, snuggled into my down comforter, and purred at the fact that everyone had been happy, that there had been laughter, and that for the first day i

Moments, days, visits like these…they make it really hard for me to understand why some people judge others for hanging out with “random strangers from the internet”.  Um, cut the crap.  This is a technological era where most friendships are born out of the wide wide world of web.  There’s absolutely nothing wrong with not only meeting someone you’ve talked to on the net for quite some time, but also going on trips with said person and/or inviting them to your house.  Sure, the “hey come stay at my house” stuff should come after you’ve met someone in person and known them for awhile but still.  Meeting people online is akin to meeting some random stranger in any other way.  I mean hey, we’re all start out as strangers, no matter how me meet one another.

“Oh but Hilly, people online are sickos and pervs!”.

Yes, yes there are people like that.  But hello, there are people like that at your corner drug store, your local singles bar and I’m sorry to say it, even at your church.  Now then, don’t get me wrong…I am not saying that I have a problem with people who don’t want to meet others from the internet because they are genuinely afraid of what they’ll find there, blah blah blah.  I’m really now talking about the people who judge others because they choose to meet and consistently hang out with friends they’ve met online, no matter what medium.  I know I’ve mentioned this before but hey, I am not above repeating myself (stewardesses, stewardesses, stewardesses)…I met my best friend Foo Diddy online through a Weight Watchers message board.  I met Karl online through a journal site called Blurty, which is also where I met my husband, by the way.  I don’t want to do the whole name dropping crap thing, so I’ll just say that I’ve become close with quite a few people out there in the last couple of years as well.  There’s another person who I talk to every single day and I have no idea how my life would be without those moments.   Also, you get a bunch of these “net freaks” into one room and you actually have yourself a party where no one is judging you, calling you fat, making fun of your physical impairments or even coming close to being mean spirited.

Moreover, once your “net freak friends” become tangible, it’s a lot harder to sit and spew venomous hatred over tiny insignificant things that they may or may not write on whatever medium they use.  You’ve met them and are close friends with some of them so it’s easier to just say, “Oh that so-and-so.  What the hell has he gotten himself into now?”.  As someone who has several friends who aren’t immune to controversy, I just let them do their thing, whatever that may be on any given Sunday-Saturday, and I don’t judge.  I know that there is a lot more to people than what their blogs and Twitter feeds say.  You see, I’m smart enough and compassionate enough to know that there are many sides to one person and what you see is not always what you get.  So being that I am also loyal, I stand by my friends no matter what.  If I don’t like something that one of them has typed in their blogs, I’ll tell them so…just ask Karl.  At the same time, I won’t sell my friendships to the highest bidder.  What often KILLS me about this?  I’m lumped into this whole “guilt by association” thing and somehow, my name is brought up places that it shouldn’t be just because I choose to remain friends with a few controversial people.  Um yeah, let’s condemn someone for not being two-faced and actually sticking by her friends through thick and thin because THAT makes sense.

Believe you me, I know it goes two ways.  I’m sure that some of my friends have to sit by and wince when I do dumb things as well.  Yet, they never waiver in their love for me.  I’d rather have a handful of “net freaks” like that in my corner than a million two-faced friends who sit in their ivory towers, constantly judging and spitting out the sewage that seems to have been stuck in their throats.  I’m just fucking saying…

Before anyone asks, there is no drama.  This post was not born out of anything in particular, rather seeds of discontent that had been planted some time ago.  I think that I just now finally figured out what I wanted to say and how I wanted to say it.  Go Team Me!

The Whole Blah Damn Thing Kisses,
Me

Posted in Hilly On A Tangent, Hilly's Life 2008, I Love Them | Comments (21)

21 Responses to “Let My Words Hit The Floor….”

  1. John Says:
    July 16th, 2008 at 10:33 am

    AGREE. AGREE. agree, agree, agree, agree! Our blogs only display “shades” of who we really are. : )

    LOVE TO HILLY! LOVE TO KARL! LOVE TO SHAWN! LOVE TO CALI! LOVE TO EVERYBODY!

  2. foo Says:
    July 16th, 2008 at 11:31 am

    Proudly flying my net freak BFF flag…non computer/blogging people will never understand the depth of the connections you can make through the Interwebs. They don’t know what they are missing.

    foos last blog post..Goodbye my Tivo love…

  3. radioactive tori Says:
    July 16th, 2008 at 11:43 am

    I think a true friend is someone who can witness your bad side and still be there for you even when they don’t understand anything that you are doing. I have a few of these kinds of friends, and I love them like crazy.

    I haven’t yet met anyone I met on the internet, but I can’t wait until I do. The people I talk to on the computer mean every bit as much to me as my in real life friends do.

    radioactive toris last blog post..Everything You Do With Friends Is Better

  4. turnbaby Says:
    July 16th, 2008 at 11:44 am

    I’ve been having this conversation a lot lately ;-)

    I have met the most wonderful, supportive group of people online. And I’ll stand by them and with them any day.

    Smooch

    turnbabys last blog post..My Huckleberry Friend

  5. Tori Blaine Says:
    July 16th, 2008 at 11:48 am

    the “guilty by association” thing is what kills me, I understand some people don’t get along, but that doesn’t mean I have to choose sides…. ugh

    Tori Blaines last blog post..I haven’t forgotten…

  6. Winter Says:
    July 16th, 2008 at 12:13 pm

    I hate sides. I hate finger pointing. I hate drama. I don’t freaking care if we don’t all get along. I just want my corner of the world to run smoothly whether we all agree and get along or not. I just think we should all be grown ups. Not act like them. BE THEM.

    Thank being said, I know what you mean about Karl. I was grumpy last night about “stuff” and meeting Karl with his bright smile and genuine delight in meeting me and Motley made my 4 hours of sleep totally worth it.

    It didn’t hurt that your words when you said I was strong and confident and didn’t need to be hand held daily via email and other social media, totally made me feel like I was strong on a day that brought me to my knees (and tears) earlier.

    Much love and HUGS to you and Karl! I feel bad the secret mission was a bust, but not bad that I got to spend time with you two.

    Winters last blog post..More, More, More!

  7. Miss Britt Says:
    July 16th, 2008 at 12:35 pm

    You know what sucks about the “guilt by association” thing?

    When you hear people making excuses for why they are friends with you. Or making a point of drawing the distinction between them and you.

    I hope you and Karl have fun!

    Miss Britts last blog post..Wanted: Temporary Babysitter For My Uterus.

  8. Avitable Says:
    July 16th, 2008 at 12:37 pm

    Internet people are sickos and pervs, and I’m both of them!

    Avitables last blog post..Getting nailed

  9. Finn Says:
    July 16th, 2008 at 12:39 pm

    And this is one of the many things that is so lovely about you.

  10. diane Says:
    July 16th, 2008 at 12:54 pm

    I like everyone I’ve met from the interwebs. But I also think (like you) I am very intuitive and tend to avoid people I don’t think I would get along with anyway.
    On a lighter note, when you talked about “Karl’s annual visit” and the fact “he’s been such a grumpy bitch lately”, all I could think of was that it’s code for someone who only gets their period once a year. Ha!

  11. Sarah Says:
    July 16th, 2008 at 1:13 pm

    Some of my good friends I have yet to meet in person.

    I think it’s really wonderful that you choose to stick by friends even when they say/do things you don’t like/agree with at times. Being a person who speaks before she thinks, I’ve often been on the other end wondering where all my friends went.

    But enough about that I hope you and Karl have all kinds of fun during his visit! :grin:

    Sarahs last blog post..Open Letter #3

  12. Karl Says:
    July 16th, 2008 at 1:57 pm

    I love the people I love no matter what. The guilt by association thing doesn’t bother me. That’s the same with offline friendships AND online friendships. I don’t apologize for my friends, for liking my friends, or any combination thereof.

    If I have to shank someone, that is not a problem. Just point them out to me.

    Karls last blog post..And the Universe Will Be a Much Happier Place, Believe Me

  13. SJ Says:
    July 16th, 2008 at 2:13 pm

    Okay fine, but what did you guys do today?!?! :grin:

    Seriously, I get sooo tired of hearing this from people. Juli and I are far more internet-active than the rest of my family, who all think we’re insane for socializing with people we’ve met online. It’s so very tiresome. I’m going to copy this post and email it to ALL of them.

  14. Hilly Says:
    July 16th, 2008 at 3:34 pm

    John: So what you’re saying is…that you agree?

    FooDiddy: I know, right? They’re missing out on a whole lot of Cheerypants action! (and pudding box construction)

    Radioactive Tori: I wholeheartedly agree. None of us are always going to like what friends/lovers/spouses blah blah blah are doing but the true measure of love there is how we stick by them even when we don’t agree.

    Turnbaby: And we shall stand by you! Well *I* will. I need to stop speaking for others ;).

    Tori Blaine: Hopefully no one asks you to choose sides. I’m lucky in that I’ve never had that problem. Then again, I also tend compartmentalize different friendship areas at times. Hrm, don’t know if that is good or bad.

    Winter: And see? THIS is the powerful stuff that meeting up with other bloggers is all about. I just said what was in my head and it helped your day in a small way. I love that shit!

    Britt: I don’t think that people should make excuses for being friends with anyone. I was specifically called out for being friends with someone the other day. MY character was brought into question because I associate with him. While I don’t agree with everything he does, I did not say this nor did I explain why I love him. I just walked away from the people who couldn’t figure out that I am not my friend. And honestly? This situation had NOTHING to do with blog people.

    Avitable: Meeeee tooooo!

    Finn: You love me? You really love me?

    Diane: Yep, we are birds of a feather. I won’t even comment on a blog if I get a semi hinky feeling. And that is too funny about Karl!

    Sarah: I’ve been on the other side. I’ve lost friends because rather than talk to me about what I do that bugs them, they just walked away and talked shit. It’s lame..we all have “things” and we all have people that love us just the same, I hope.

    Karl: I’m not exactly “bothered” regarding Guilt By Association as much as shocked that it has to exist. I am not you and you are not me….we have very different opinions on some things and some that are very much the same. It would take a fucking moron not to realize that’s how it is with all of us.

    SJ: Today we’ve done squat. I think Karl needed to cure his jet lag. *I* did laundry, typed “stewardesses”, cleaned the upstairs, caught up on emails and we are just now leaving to go on errands!

  15. Miss Britt Says:
    July 16th, 2008 at 3:40 pm

    Sweetheart, I’m sorry. I am a raving bitch today and am just barely keeping it in check.

    You can pretty much ignore anything I’ve said for the last 24 hourss.

    Miss Britts last blog post..Wanted: Temporary Babysitter For My Uterus.

  16. kilax Says:
    July 16th, 2008 at 8:12 pm

    That is what I have been trying to say to people - WE ALL start out as strangers… what’s the big deal?!

    kilaxs last blog post..Example #53 of how I’m a hypocrite

  17. Rachel Says:
    July 16th, 2008 at 9:24 pm

    No explanations needed here! I met one of my best friends through blogs, and I flew out to Wisconsin a couple of months ago to meet to other friends I met online. Online friends are the best!

    Rachels last blog post..Guts

  18. Patty Says:
    July 16th, 2008 at 9:43 pm

    I agree! I couldn’t believe the response I got from my family….making fun of me or worrying about me meeting weirdos…after I told them I was going to the Seattle meet and greet with bloggers. I just say ’screw them’ on this point. They are family and I love them but that doesn’t give them the right to judge my every move.

    Pattys last blog post..the student dilemma

  19. Iron Fist Says:
    July 16th, 2008 at 10:52 pm

    It has long been my aspiration to be one of those online pervs.

  20. jester Says:
    July 17th, 2008 at 12:43 am

    I’ll be friends with anyone I want, and I don’t apologize for it.

    Why though do *I* get called the sock puppet?

    I know you were totally not talking about my daily call.

    jesters last blog post..Making an Effort

  21. MC Says:
    July 17th, 2008 at 10:39 am

    I’ve always been more honest with people in an inverse relationship to their physical distance from me. The less likely I am to meet someone, the more honest I generally am… which has some rather odd results.

    MCs last blog post..Ricky Gervais gave me something to think about

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