July 31st, 2008

Of Meat, Murder, and Militant Feminists…

Holy Crap!  Has it actually been three whole days since my last blog post?  I feel like I should genuflect.  Of course, I am not one of those people who has actually vowed to post each and every day, even though it may seem like it at times.  I’ve generally always *wanted* to write something every day so this was a weird trek for me, especially since I’ve *been* at my computer every damned day.  I guess I’ve just had nothing worth saying.  Erm, wait a minute…did I just say that?  Me?  In any case, since I’ve not yet really been able to get my thoughts together on the post I really want to write (about sex and my views on it), I’ll just drop “bits of random” your  way to satiate your desperate hunger for my voice.  Oh, you don’t desperately hunger for my words?  Can we just pretend?  I thought so…

Dead Silence

I’ve recently rediscovered one of my phobias.  I’ve always prided myself on having one “thing” that scares the piss out of me.  Also?  That one thing is something that not a lot of people know about because I hide it so well.  Yes, my friends…I have an elevator phobia.  In fact, the last time Karl visited, we were all crammed in this service elevator on the Queen Mary and I cried because I felt so claustrophobic when the doors wouldn’t open.  But anyway, that is neither here no there.  My “bad ass bitch” status is going to be revoked soon because…well, I am also scared as shit of dummies.  You know, like the ventriloquist dummies?  Uh yeah.  Last night Karl and I watched a movie called “Dead Silence” and even though it was not the scariest thing I’ve seen technically, it was emotionally.  Holy fuckballs!  There were evil dolls and dummies turning their heads, talking, killing people.  I rarely scream at scary movies but last night, I was like a schoolgirl seeing a cock for the first time!  Even worse?  They had a ventriloquist clown dummy.  I thought I may lose my dinner right there.

Speaking of dinner, I actually cooked steak for the first time last night.  I must stop here and tell you that I am a fanfuckingtastic cook normally but when it comes to meat?  Errrrr.  Actually, wait a minute, I *can* make a damned fine pot roast but maybe that is because that is baked, not fried or grilled.  Last night, when asked to cook these huge steaks, I turned to the only place that I knew would help me out in a jiffy…no, NOT Google but rather Twitter.  I twatted that I had no idea how to cook steak and within minutes I had replies, direct messages and even a few people that contacted me via Google Talk.  It still floors me when I actually sit and think about what a powerful medium Twitter is, yanno…when used for good and not evil.  Last night, Karl and I were talking about when it would fade away into the nether and I think I’ve decided that it won’t be anytime soon.  Anyway, in case you are wondering…I used a George Foreman grill and my steaks were juicy and delicious.

Speaking of grilling and also of how I can relate the most fucked up subjects to one another, I want to dust off Snackie Radio for one week to talk about feminism.  How the HELL did I come down this road?  Hey, I’ll tell you!  The reason that I don’t know how to cook steak is that throughout my whole life, the man has always grilled up the steaks.  Whether it was my Dad or whatever current man I was dating, I was never really allowed to cook the steaks.  Okay, maybe “allowed” is a strong word, but I know that you know what I mean, jelly beans.  Also?  I always just said, “eh, that’s a guy’s job” without thinking twice.  I’ve always known that my feminism quotient is slightly less than some of the more erm, “militant” feminists and truth be told, I’ve always been okay with that.  I love gender equality and all that it stands for but oddly enough, part of me is still a traditionalist.  I love it when a man holds the door open for me or gives me his jacket because I am cold.  I’m okay with a household statement where the guy does all the barbecuing and the woman does something else that she is probably better at as well.  I don’t feel “held down” as a woman when some of these more traditional things pop up and if I did, I’d sure as hell say something.  However, I know that there are women out there chomping at the bit for more more more equality!  In fact, some people can blame the patriarch for every damned thing that happens to them, but not this girl.  I’m a true lover of men…take that how you want, I guess.  In any case, I’m going to do a show about this soon, but am not sure when.

That’s all she wrote, kids!  Or in other words…”Party’s over”, said the girl.  I swear that my next post about sex is going to be simply amazing and will have you on the edge of your seats!  Okay well, I mean…it will be somewhat riveting.  Well shit, interesting?  Erm, a good read?  I hate to set myself up to fail here, haha.

Double A Kisses,
Me

Posted in Hilly's Life 2008, Random Schmandom | Comments (30)

30 Responses to “Of Meat, Murder, and Militant Feminists…”

  1. adena Says:
    July 31st, 2008 at 9:08 am

    Oh man…discovering hidden phobias.

    At least you were at home, with Karl.

    I had a friend who realized she had a MASSIVE phobia of people in animal costumes…while working at Crate & Barrel when they were hosting a HUGE party for the Sac Kings.

    Can we just say…Mascot?

    Imagine a screaming girl FLYING through a store filled with many, many breakables.

    Yeah, good times, good times…

    adenas last blog post..These Music Meme’s Kill Me EVERY Time!

  2. suze Says:
    July 31st, 2008 at 9:15 am

    I find ventriloquist dummies creepy as well. So creepy in fact that I had to scan that first paragraph really, really quickly so I could scroll the page and hide the picture as fast as possible. It’s a sickness.

    I have no idea about the BBQ really - it’s always been the ‘man’s’ realm. Even my father, who is one of my strongest feminist influences, doesn’t let my mom touch his BBQ…somethings are too hardwired, even for the most fervently equality-minded I suppose ;)
    suzes last blog post..aaah, that’s better…

  3. Miss Britt Says:
    July 31st, 2008 at 9:17 am

    I finally learned how to grill last year. It was that or starve.

    Or unthaw some hamburger. Whatever.

  4. othurme Says:
    July 31st, 2008 at 9:22 am

    Whenever I’m trapped in a very small elevator with a ventriloquist dummy, I let him grill the steaks.

    othurmes last blog post..Don’t Turn 38

  5. Avitable Says:
    July 31st, 2008 at 9:51 am

    I would like a steak right now. I haven’t eaten in five days.

    Avitables last blog post..Pornucopia - Porn of Plenty

  6. B.E. Earl Says:
    July 31st, 2008 at 10:28 am

    Watch out for those ventriliquist clown dummies.

    They like to hide under your bed. :twisted:

    B.E. Earls last blog post..Major Tom

  7. John Says:
    July 31st, 2008 at 10:34 am

    I didn’t know you were a fanfuckingtastic cook Hillypoo. You’re talented! And purty. : )

    Johns last blog post..Ovah and Ovah. And Ovah.

  8. Princess of the Universe Says:
    July 31st, 2008 at 10:38 am

    Hmm, I’m relatively indifferent to ventriloquist dummies - but I must confess I’ve always kind of considered steak a man’s job too.
    Yeah, I’m cool with a lot of traditions too.

    Princess of the Universes last blog post..Fishy Men

  9. TSM Says:
    July 31st, 2008 at 11:25 am

    I had a great comment all put together. Which completely fell apart when I read “Double A Kisses”.

    You bet your Eveready ASS! :lol:

    TSMs last blog post..Miss-Conceptions

  10. *pixie* Says:
    July 31st, 2008 at 11:48 am

    Double A Kisses? Are we talking batteries or boobies?

    I hate clowns—not really a phobia, just an utter dislike for them.

    Yay! I was their to offer up my twat to you last night. I feel special.

    *pixie*s last blog post..lil’ slugger

  11. *pixie* Says:
    July 31st, 2008 at 11:50 am

    Oh, and I love to cook (including grilling) but my husband always wants to do the grilling. It’s really hard—that is, IMPOSSIBLE—for me not to turn or check the BBQ at least once. I have control issues.

    *pixie*s last blog post..lil’ slugger

  12. Stacey Says:
    July 31st, 2008 at 11:53 am

    I have to confess that I let my man do all of the grilling.

    Of course, I let him do all of the other cooking too.

    Staceys last blog post..Wait, What?

  13. Hilly Says:
    July 31st, 2008 at 12:04 pm

    Adena: Oh my GOD, I would HATE for my phobia to become public knowledge like that…at work!

    Suze: That is a lot of it too! “Male Domain” and all of that. Just like, I don’t even let anyone else touch the laundry. It’s just something that *I* do best.

    Britt: We have a gas BBQ, which I can use, cause it’s like cooking on a stove, sorta. But the one with the charcoals? Er yeah, EPIC FAIL!

    Othurme: Does that happen often? Also, sorry this wasn’t a cryptic post for you to decipher! I’ll work on one for next week. ;)

    Avitable: Did I miss something on bloggy hiatus? Why the hell haven’t you eaten? :?:

    B.E. Earl: Oh gee, thanks. Like I didn’t ALREADY have to go to sleep with the TV on last night. Of course *then* I thought of Poltergeist, FFS! :shock:

    John: You always say the nicest things! And yep, I can cook like a pro, especially Italian dishes!

    Princess: Hooooorah for traditions!

    TSM: Well. a girl needs her AA batteries, right? :mrgreen:

    pixie: Batteries, of course, haha. Boobs would be more like DDD! And thanks for all of your help last night!

    Stacey: I wish I had someone to cook for me, if only for a day or two.

  14. Sharon Says:
    July 31st, 2008 at 12:06 pm

    There are certain things that I’m glad my boyfriends have seen as “guy things” because mostly they were things I didn’t/don’t want to do! ;)

    One example is mowing grass. I hate it, and I have made it clear to MM in our house hunting that if we buy a house with a lawn, it’ll be his job as “the man” to mow it!

    Now that’s some sexism I can get behind! :razz:
    Sharons last blog post..Decisions, decisions

  15. Karl Says:
    July 31st, 2008 at 1:08 pm

    Dummies don’t really creep me out, but the ones in that movie sure did. I love how you screamed and jumped. And then screamed and jumped when I rewound it and played that part again. Ha!

    Karls last blog post..Summer Of Love, The Blog Post (Not The Song or Event)

  16. Fluffycat Says:
    July 31st, 2008 at 2:07 pm

    OMG what the hell. I have you on my Google Reader and I just thought you stopped blogging or something because I stopped seeing posts showing up there. Damn I’ve missed like a month of posts here. Now I feel dumb for not just clicking on the blog directly.

    Anyway, I’m very afraid of clowns and alligators. I think if someone dressed an alligator up like a clown, I’d probably run screaming.

    Fluffycats last blog post..Book Meme

  17. Winter Says:
    July 31st, 2008 at 2:10 pm

    I can grill and cook. When I was in my 20’s and single, I would grill steaks a lot during the summer. Elevators and dummies don’t creep me out. Scenes filmed underwater give me nightmares for weeks though.

    Winters last blog post..Shake Me

  18. elfenkate Says:
    July 31st, 2008 at 2:27 pm

    Eewww! Dummies creep me out for sure.
    Anthony Hopkins in Magic did it.

    elfenkates last blog post..Creative Photography # 7

  19. Mattie Says:
    July 31st, 2008 at 3:46 pm

    The only thing I can not cook is Chinese. A) it’s too much work B) It’s cheaper to order out.

    Phobias: heights, open spaces with too many people, closed spaces with too many people (what’s that you say? I’m fucked? Yeah, probably), food poisoning, sleeping on hotel sheets, somebody besides me folding my laundry, men who have nose hair I can see (eeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuu, right?).

    A sex post, heh! I will be waiting ever so patiently to see what you have to say about that topic that you haven’t already alluded to in past posts … snort, snorkle, snark!

    Matties last blog post..Movin’ and Shakin’

  20. Nat Says:
    July 31st, 2008 at 5:09 pm

    Ok. I am afraid of elevators. In fact, I will take stairs up great distances so I don’t have to take the elevator. In fact, if it’s less than 5 stories up, I take the stairs. Really. And snakes. Not a big fan of snakes. I had to hold a snake in order NOT to pass on the fear to The Boy.

    As for grilling The Man really enjoys it but it depends on who is cooking. The Man does a better steak but I do better fish. Shrug. It’s not a guy thing or a girl thing — it’s just one more way to cook. Sort of like most things in this house…

  21. jewelz916 Says:
    July 31st, 2008 at 5:14 pm

    Clowns rank right up there on my list of fears as well! They are extremely creepy. And ventiloquist dummy clowns (like in Poltergeist) are very disturbing….especially when they come to life and drag you under your bed.

  22. Hilly Says:
    July 31st, 2008 at 6:32 pm

    Sharon: I think you’ve exposed one of my secrets…haha, there are things I totally hate doing too!

    Karl: Right? You would have thought that KNOWING that shit was going to happen would have made the screaming cease!

    Fluffycat: When I changed over to Wordpress, my feed changed! It is now feeds.feecburner.com/snackiepoo.

    Winter: *note to self…invite Winter over on BBQ nights*. ;)

    elfenkate: I am glad I am not alone. Very glad.

    Mattie: Heh, well as you can probably guess, it won’t be too puritanical. (A friend used that word the other day and now I am over-using the shit out of it!)

    Nat: Yay, someone else who prefers the stairs!

    Jewelz916: First off, thanks for coming by my blog! And yeah, Poltergeist had me shitting for years, especially since I had a dumb ass pirouette doll in my bedroom.

  23. suze Says:
    July 31st, 2008 at 7:11 pm

    That dummy picture is really creepy. Seriously. I might not be able to return to your blog until it no longer appears :P

  24. AmyD Says:
    July 31st, 2008 at 7:46 pm

    I have seen the last 30 minute of that movie and it looked freaky!

    My husband watched it last night and said it was SCARY. :shock:

    AmyDs last blog post..Pokin’ The Bear

  25. Hilly Says:
    July 31st, 2008 at 8:29 pm

    suze: It will move down after midnight!

    Amy: I have no idea why I watched the whole thing!

  26. Selma Says:
    July 31st, 2008 at 10:16 pm

    I have a phobia about those old style photos where the subject was looking directly at the camera and their eyes follow you around the room. I can actually feel the hairs on the back of my neck rise up when I see one.

    I let my son cook the steaks. He is brilliant. I don’t know where he learned it from but he cooks them perfectly every time. He is only 12 but he can already cook quite well. I think it’s important for boys to learn domestic skills. The added bonus is it gives me more time to blog!

    Selmas last blog post..Vita Nova

  27. Winter Says:
    August 1st, 2008 at 6:41 am

    I’m better with beef than chicken… but I can do bird. I just need a meat thermometer for it if it has bones. Boneless is better anyway. Fajitas! YEAH!

    Winters last blog post..Shake Me

  28. Sybil Law Says:
    August 1st, 2008 at 9:35 am

    I am not a griller. I can get everything ready for the grill, but I don’t touch the actual grill. Gas grills freak me out - I have no clue why. Charcoal grills have too much smoke and make you stink, so I steer clear of them, too.
    Thank God I’m married, because I LOVE grilled food!

    Sybil Laws last blog post..Can’t Come Up with a Good Title

  29. Thomas Says:
    August 1st, 2008 at 2:39 pm

    My brother used to be scared of escalators. Finally one day I shouted at him, “You can always step off.”

    Thomass last blog post..Cocky Young Men or: Are There Any Other Kind?

  30. Milf Soup Fan Says:
    August 31st, 2008 at 2:54 am

    Thanks for the nasty post :P …and thanks for adding our comment to the blog.

Leave a Reply