August 11th, 2008
Yes, it’s a video post. It’s unedited. I’m unedited. Hell, I have wet hair and I am not even wearing makeup. This video blog is about as raw as you will ever see me in many different aspects. I thought it was time to just be myself and let it all hang out.
Snackie In The Raw from Hilly Carnes on Vimeo.
Not Afraid To Show You “No Makeup” Face At All Kisses,
Me
Also, because sometimes Vimeo is an asstool that lags, the video can also be seen here on YouTube.
44 Responses to “Behind The Mask I Wear…”
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August 11th, 2008 at 12:10 pm
Avitables last blog post..Upping the ante
August 11th, 2008 at 12:27 pm
I LOVED this video. I LOVE YOU. I’m always here for you, good or bad. Call me the ultimate optimist, but I’m really excited for the good things that will come of this journey you are on. xo
Karen Sugarpantss last blog post..I? Am a Hormone-Fed Chicken.
August 11th, 2008 at 12:29 pm
I don’t have sound on my work computer, but good for you!
August 11th, 2008 at 12:33 pm
I think the beauty of looking back is knowing you probably won’t make THAT mistake again. Or whatever.
Still - at least you know things always change, day to day, and so obviously, things will get better.
Sybil Laws last blog post..Et Tu, Blogger?
August 11th, 2008 at 12:35 pm
you, my dear, should do millions more of these. they are so honest. i relate to them deeply. i am thinking about you and holding you in the light. you will be okay.
Cryss last blog post..Rubs
August 11th, 2008 at 12:47 pm
I think allowing ourselves to “feel” is very difficult for a lot of us. I can’t seem to put the hammer down and stop beating myself up for stuff.
Keep your chin up and know that you are loved by many people.
It’s OK to let yourself feel the emotions swirling around inside of you. It’s normal and OK.
*hugs*
Sodapops last blog post..Hey, did you see the truck that hit me?
August 11th, 2008 at 12:57 pm
Always nice to see you and hear your thoughts.
August 11th, 2008 at 1:01 pm
I hope you know that if you ever need anything, I am here for you! This video was so honest and true. It made me a little sad because it’s hard to see a friend not 100% happy, but I admire you for posting this and letting your feelings be.
radioactive toris last blog post..Radioactive Brownies (or something)
August 11th, 2008 at 1:03 pm
Hang tough!! This too shall pass. Great thing about our lives being linear is every day, every minute is new. You never have to do them over. Each one can be a fresh start.
August 11th, 2008 at 1:20 pm
In the few months that I’ve been reading your blog, you’ve always put yourself out there in so many ways. This was Hilly: Raw and Uncut. Hang in there and as you said, this will be in the past soon.
August 11th, 2008 at 1:26 pm
It’s hard even when it needs to be done.
Remembering can be pretty cool when you appreciate it the way you’ve described.
Turnbabys last blog post..Say That You Remember
August 11th, 2008 at 1:28 pm
Oh… how I know what you mean. Whenever I try to back to those moments, I’m still in college ya know, I always regret it. It ends up hurting me more than the good.
When I look into my past on my blog, I mostly laugh at how immature I was. I’ve grown up so much, I’m not even the same person.
While I miss the fun, the boys, the sex the partying and the… everything else; I feel pretty good with where I am and that isn’t easy for me to admit. I still have a good ways to go.
August 11th, 2008 at 1:39 pm
This is what blogging is all about — showing the process. Keep it up. You’ll be fine.
August 11th, 2008 at 3:00 pm
Very beautiful video post Hilly. I haven’t known you long enough to know or even ask why this month is hard, but I do send you a :hug:.
Lucys last blog post..Olympics Opening Ceremony
August 11th, 2008 at 4:16 pm
Although I am not making individual comments back, I wanted to say thank you to all of you who have replied so far. It’s nice to know that I can expose the real me and still be loved.
August 11th, 2008 at 4:33 pm
You are so right about the fact that it is hard to look back. Experiencing old emotions is in some ways worse than going through new ones.
You are so right that one day looking back won’t be so hard.
You are so right that it’s okay to feel the way you feel right now.
Oh Hilly…
Becs last blog post..All the Colours
August 11th, 2008 at 6:07 pm
i’m sure the majority of people would love to go back and change something in their life… whether it was a boyfriend, a job, a weight gain/loss, a lousy vacation - would your life really be that much better if things were different? i often think about what would’ve happened if i married my HS sweetheart - the last 15 years would’ve never happened and they were what made me who i am today…
thank you for sharing this video with us and know that you have a friend in MD… :o)
((( HUG )))
jodis last blog post..TGIF
August 11th, 2008 at 6:20 pm
New to your blog, and what an introduction! LOVED this and fully agree with Crys — you should do more.
Seriously, you rock. Thanks for your honesty and laying it bare.
mommypies last blog post..Did someone say Endowment for the Arts?
August 11th, 2008 at 6:31 pm
Everyone else has already said it, but I’ll say it again — you’re pretty damn special, no matter where you are in life. And that’s not going to change.
Know that you’ve got people here on your side over the next few weeks.
:rock (It was either this or the hug icon, and people had already taken it…)
August 11th, 2008 at 6:50 pm
You’re one of the bravest people I know. I don’t do the mushy words so well unless I’m writing fiction, but… lets go wallow at the bookstore some night and drink
. I’m not sure why, but that always seems so soothing to me. It makes me happy that you are nearby. It makes me sad to think that you might not be soon. But either way, I’m glad I found you. No PPF. I’m too 
for that.
Winters last blog post..Coolness
August 11th, 2008 at 7:05 pm
I haven’t been around too long, but I heart you to bits. I’ve said this more than once but I wish I could give you a big hug right now.
Going down memory lane kind of sucks sometimes. I realize that whenever I go through old diaries - and now older blog posts…
Princess of the Universes last blog post..Administrative Clean-Up
August 11th, 2008 at 7:13 pm
Excellent video Hilly… You are 100% right in everything you said.
It’s all going to be okay…deep breath…
August 11th, 2008 at 7:53 pm
Hey, gorgeous. I’m totally giving you a hug right now.
August 11th, 2008 at 8:03 pm
Oh honey I completely adore you!
You really are one of my favorite bloggers and now I”m just sending big hugs your way!
Sarahs last blog post..Sleep
August 11th, 2008 at 8:13 pm
It’s okay.
We all go through these times of a sort of self-awareness.
You are a wonderful, charming, very funny woman. And you have very beautiful eyes, Hilly! Keep your chin up…lean on your friends. Hope that you are wrong and August rocks for you. :rock
Stephanies last blog post..I’m such a freak.
August 11th, 2008 at 8:19 pm
I don’t know you well at ALL, but from what I’ve seen, I just want to say you WILL get through it, and be even stronger on the other side. Speaking from experience, you will learn from it, and be just.fine. Also, IMHO, you don’t have to apologize for what’s going on here on your blog…it’s you. It’s real…and that’s good.
Hang in there…you’re going to be all right.
Tugs last blog post..Cookie Jar
August 11th, 2008 at 8:26 pm
I hope these next couple weeks go as smoothly as possible for you! Keep your chin up!
Mrs. Fs last blog post..Obama Jams To Rick Astley
August 11th, 2008 at 9:52 pm
I think we’ve always kept it real with each other and that is why I love you so much. Sure, the upcoming months may suck, but you are paving the way for goodness and re-defining things that have been jumbled for years. You know you can call me 24/7.
Foos last blog post..I’m good…just busy.
August 12th, 2008 at 2:37 am
You’re a tough lass Hilly, don’t forget “this too will pass”. Looking back can be SO hard, changing things can be even harder but you will get there in the end and you will be proud of yourself for keeping your chin up. Here’s to the future; keep blogging, keep sane and keep your fans sane too
All the best to you. Love from Deb X
August 12th, 2008 at 4:01 am
You are on the brink of true happiness babe!I love ya!
UnkeyMonkey Michaels last blog post..The Art Of Shawn Barber, featured on LA Ink
August 12th, 2008 at 5:40 am
I love you, I love you, I love you!
Hilly, what a fabulous post! I think you’re gorgeous, inside and out!
I hope things improve for you soon! You deserve only the best my friend!!
August 12th, 2008 at 6:14 am
You look gorgeous even without all of your makeup on. You have amazing skin.
Good luck with all of the changes.. I hope you make it through feeling mostly optimism. I’m thinking I would have a hard time with that… so
and 
from me as well.
August 12th, 2008 at 9:48 am
The toughest moments in life only serve to make you a stronger person, Hilly. You’re so brave–so brave–to face things head-on and get out there and make the changes necessary to make HILLY happy. I’d much rather see the ups and downs in your posts over the next few weeks and have the opportunity to support you, rather than the alternative–hiding your head in the sand–because I know the alternative would be easier.
Take care, big hugs, and I’ll be thinking of you in the coming weeks.
~Les
August 12th, 2008 at 10:02 am
I couldn’t listen yesterday, but now I have. Wonderful and brave post.
I can look back and reflect on some things in my past…others I’m not ready to yet. I do realize that all our experiences, good or bad, help make us who we are and who we will become.
Hang tight, be strong, live life.
Employee No. 3699s last blog post..Summer Storm in the Midwest
August 12th, 2008 at 11:42 am
It’s good to let your hair down, hope you are on the upside sooner than you think.
Beths last blog post..Alone
August 12th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
You are incredible and I love how real you are. I’m sorry that things are going crappy right now, and you just need to get rhough it in any way you know how. Just be you - we’ll all love you no matter what.
August 12th, 2008 at 12:29 pm
I love that you let it all hang out and put yourself out there. Sending you love and kisses from Seattle while you work through the shit for the rest of the month.
Chriss last blog post..Less ass, more hookers!
August 12th, 2008 at 1:02 pm
It’s your party (blogoversary) hon, you should do whatever you want and makes you happy. I loved your video. I don’t think you have any idea how really beautiful you are.
Johns last blog post..I’m Not Home Right Now
August 12th, 2008 at 1:25 pm
Smooches, babe.
metalmoms last blog post..WhoreMoans
August 12th, 2008 at 2:05 pm
I like your no makeup face!
You will look back someday and appreciate what was good and learn from what was bad. It’s all these things that make us who we are, and when you really begin to come into your own (I think you are well on your way), you see that all of it was absolutely necessary.
Finns last blog post..Me, A-Z
August 12th, 2008 at 11:37 pm
More thank yous and more love to all of you. I appreciate you more than you will ever know and you guys are like my little rocks of sanity through all of this!
August 14th, 2008 at 10:39 pm
Ugh, I feel terrible that I’m just now seeing this. My week has been devoid of blogs (other than mine) because I’ve been wrapped up in my own shit.
I love you, babe. And I’m here any time you want/need to talk.
Karls last blog post..Effing Computers
August 16th, 2008 at 11:29 am
Snakie in the raw is beautiful!
It was easier when you were younger because you didn’t know what the consequences of your actions would be or you didn’t care. Now that you are older, and hopefully wiser, you know how hard it will be to get up after being up all night drinking and smoking. We live, we learn.
As always, I love your honesty and wish you the best getting through this month.
XOXO
August 23rd, 2008 at 10:28 pm
I’m late in commenting on this post. But, just wanted to know I’m thinking of you and still reading when I can.
(I had to crack up at the video post of you Karl and the ‘what what in the butt’!)
Going through the tough stuff really does make us stronger. As I’ve been reading your blog this past year or so….it seems like you’ve been going through some really tough times and I can relate as it’s been one of my toughest years. My wish for you is to find the happiness that you so richly deserve and I know you will find it in due time. Wading through all the crap in our lives will make it all the more sweeter when the good times happen.
Pattys last blog post..Back from vacation