September 3rd, 2008

Don’t You Wish Your Girlfriend Was Chatty Like Me?

Bloggers forgive me…it has been two days since my last confession post.  Wait, it’s only been a couple of days?  Huh…it feels like a week!  In any case, I haven’t been writing because my thoughts have been all over the place, discombobulated at best.  My mind is like this overflowing bathtub that is now spilling water on to the floor.  So what I *need* to do is bend over, clean up the mess, then make a totally random bullet-y type post and just get over my anal need for flowing continuity (and redundancy).   So here goes nothing…

Displaced: Earlier today I brought up the fact that I am a political fish out of water living here in Orange County (or “The OC” as the kids like to say).  I’m not sure of the exact statistics but I think that I now live in the most Republican county in California.  Hell, I don’t even know if there *is* another red county in this state.  Back when I lived in Northern California, I could throw out a snarky remark or well thought out diatribe regarding the Republicans and their beliefs and people would just nod.  Sometimes they’d clap.  Rarely, they’d kiss me.  But now that I live in the People’s Republic of Irvine (which, btw, is totally what started me on the PRB word), I have to watch what I say around most people.  It’s hard to be a completely liberal girl trapped around erm…well, I’ll be nice and just say “people who do not in any way, shape or form share my political beliefs”.

Moving along to sports now, I hate the Lakers with a fiery passion.  You see, I was born and raised in Sacramento and if you know anything about basketball rivalry, you know that Kings fans and Lakers fans just do not mix.  Plus…purple and gold?  Ew, no thanks.

Also?  The beautiful people?  Yeah, I am not one of them.  Most people in South Orange County are tan, blond, skinny and beautifully done.  That’s not me by any means.  I am a voluptuous redhead who could not care less about the size of someone else’s wedding ring (or the diamond part, actually).  I also do not talk about my handbags by brand, nor my shoes.  You see, I say things like “I’m using my seatbelt purse today and wearing these cute black shoes!”.  They say things like “I’m carrying my Prada and wearing my Jimmy’s”.  Blech.

Fashion Plates: Boy, I’m on Twitter rewind again right now, but whatever.  So, our FedEx woman came into the office today and as she was leaving I noticed that she was wearing a banana clip in her hair.  While I felt the immediate need to make fun of her, I also remembered my secret longing that those damned things would come back in style…or at least a modified version of them.  Look, my hair is naturally wavy and the longer it gets, the harder it is to maintain.  Banana clips were always the best way to keep my hair both out of my face and looking cute.  Alas, it is not meant to be.  I’d rather not be a victim of a fashion faux-pas just because I PPH banana clips.  Anyway, that whole incident got me thinking about clothes that I hate to wear or would never ever ever be caught dead in.  You ready?

Shoes/Socks: I loathe wearing socks and shoes.  I grew up in California and we’re the home of the flip flops, sandals, mules and slides.  I mean, down here where I live, there is never any need for cute boots or any other kind of shoe that requires that much hosiery.  I actually do have a couple of pair of Skecher’s loafers and Anarchic mary janes that I wear without socks or nylons.  I just bleh…hate the feeling.  I was telling Shiny earlier that it feels like I have trapped feet.  He was telling me shortly thereafter that he thinks I need psychological help.

Fanny Packs: Just, no.  So I was reading some of the South Beach message boards the other day and people were talking about how hard it is to keep cold snacks when they are going hiking for the day or what have you.  My initial thought was…”insulated fanny pack!”.  Of course, I had to practice ten minutes of self-flagellation then genuflect before Michael Kors just for the mere thought of it.  I mean sure, they are handy but hell no on the fashion tip, people.  I know some of my readers probably have them and please don’t get defensive or think I am putting you down.  It’s just…you’ll never ever ever ever ever see me carrying one.  Ever.

Skinny Jeans: Did I mention that I’m fat?  I love skinny jeans on skinny girls, even half and half girls.  However, I am not pouring my ass into tight jeans to even look fatter.  I will stick with straight legged goodness or boot cut jeans.  Call me a faux-pas.

Life’s A Beach: A week ago I started the South Beach diet, as you all probably know and have heard more times that you probably ever fucking wanted to.  I just want to say that I love this way of eating and as of today have lost 10 freaking pounds!!!!!!  I cannot even begin to tell you how addicted I must have been to sugar.  I feel great every day now…full of life, energy, positive thoughts and I actually feel good about myself and the foods I am putting into my body.  It’s been a long time since I had a vegetable with every meal and didn’t immediately try to shove a handful of Twizzlers in my mouth when things got rough.  I owe it all to Foo, who told me about it without giving me the hard sell.  You see, she’s been on it longer than I have so she’s my mentor or sponsor.  The trick is that she doesn’t even know it, heh.  But seriously, round of applause for her having lost 14.5 pounds!!!  Anyway, it’s just nice to feel good about who I am.  My jeans are looser and yanno, even though duh, I am still fat, I feel sexier and cuter because I am doing something about it.  It’s all about esteem of the self, baby.

Hot Wax Kisses,
Me

Posted in Hilly's Life 2008, Random Schmandom, Uncategorized | Comments (25)

25 Responses to “Don’t You Wish Your Girlfriend Was Chatty Like Me?”

  1. adena Says:
    September 3rd, 2008 at 5:39 pm

    I HATE socks!!

    I was the freak in Oregon growing up who wore Tai Chi shoes (yes) w/ no socks in the dead of winter.

    And, YAY to the 10 pounds!!

    adenas last blog post..Adena, A Retrospective…

  2. Dave2 Says:
    September 3rd, 2008 at 5:39 pm

    Real sugar isn’t too bad… it’s high fructose corn syrup that will kill you. And it’s in EVERYTHING. I wish we’d ban it here like they have in Europe.

    Dave2s last blog post..Reach

  3. floating princess Says:
    September 3rd, 2008 at 6:51 pm

    Oh I LOVE socks. Especially new socks. New socks are like a warm hug! But then I live in Nevada where winter never seems to end and I hate having cold feet.

    I have to agree with you on the insulated fanny pack faux pas, but I have an alternative - the Camelback. You look cool because you look like a veteran hiker with the Camelback “hydration device” but a lot of them have extra pockets to put your junk in. The cold water keeps snacks cooler for a while.

  4. Lucy Says:
    September 3rd, 2008 at 7:13 pm

    Okay -

    Banana clips - No. Just no.

    Barefoot - Always.

    And also? I signed up for South Beach online today and printed out my list of things to eat and things to avoid for phase 1. I’m going to start this weekend (I need to shop). YAY! Maybe we can lean on each other through this and both end up healthier!

    Lucys last blog post..Well, Hell

  5. suze Says:
    September 3rd, 2008 at 7:15 pm

    wahoo, congrats on 10lbs!!! awesome. I’m feeling mighty sluggish after a month on the road and restaurants, so a detox is in order I think - from what I’ve read, South Beach is a fairly healthy way to go low carb. I’m happy it’s working for you.

    suzes last blog post..it’s like my heart can’t be tamed, i fall in love every day…

  6. Sybil Law Says:
    September 3rd, 2008 at 7:35 pm

    Hooray for you with the weight loss and feeling better!!!!
    Banana clips - handy for washing your face at night.
    Barefoot - I can’t do it. I hate if my feet are dirty. But I sleep barefoot - I mean with no socks.
    Fanny packs are so awful the thought makes me shudder.
    You look gorgeous no matter what - from the inside out.

    Sybil Laws last blog post..Big Bang

  7. Foo Says:
    September 3rd, 2008 at 7:59 pm

    Woohoo Carrots, but not during phase 1. :D 10 lbs. is bombdiggity goodness. Cheers to both of us for feeling better about what we put in our pie holes and how we feel in our not as tight clothes. Thanks for the poundage shout out….and for the record, I rocked the banana clip like I was on tour and flip flops are my other BFF.

    Foos last blog post..You do whatever is right for you…

  8. Avitable Says:
    September 3rd, 2008 at 7:59 pm

    Congratulations on 10 pounds! Here’s some virtual cake. :cake:
    Avitables last blog post..Conversations between two girls

  9. Selma Says:
    September 3rd, 2008 at 11:17 pm

    Well, I am thrilled for you about the 10lbs. YAY. I have a dirty little secret, I wear banana clips (or alligator clips as we call them in Oz) at home when no one’s looking. I have really long hair which always gets in my face, so I bind it back with a combo of banana clips, bobby pins and anything else that will stay in there, like pencils. Let’s just say I am a style icon for crazy looking bag ladies. The things I really hated wearing were those enormous black bows people used to wear in their hair in the 80s. Hope they never come back.

    Selmas last blog post..Bloody Mary

  10. Winter Says:
    September 3rd, 2008 at 11:52 pm

    I’m displaced too. Thirty years in Monterey County will make you feel like a fish out of water when you come here. I’m not Republican either. And did you know the Klan is in OC? Ugh. I’m not giving up my Dooney though. I LURVE that purse. (Ok, I have a whole closet full of Dooney’s, but that is the only one I bought brand new from D&B). Ixnay on the shoes for me too. I love flip flops and a nice pedicure. I hate socks and shoes and sweaty toes. Fanny packs? Erm… NO. Banana clips? I’m a scrunchie girl sad to say rather than a clip girl. We’ve gone down this road before, haven’t we? The 2 displaced NoCal girls with a plethora of odd things in common. Yay you on the 10 lbs. Here’s to the next 10! :sleep:

    Winters last blog post..Menage a Meh

  11. Iron Fist Says:
    September 4th, 2008 at 12:08 am

    Just let your hair go curly! YOU ARE ONE OF US.

  12. kim Says:
    September 4th, 2008 at 6:35 am

    I just had that same banana clip conversation in my head the other day, and came to a similar conclusion. I need to learn to do a french twist.

    Seattle is blue. Come on up.

  13. Miss Britt Says:
    September 4th, 2008 at 6:41 am

    Wait a minute.

    I am POSITIVE that you wore socks and tennis shoes when we were in Philly. And you all made fun of me because I had no socks, just flip flops.

    Right? RIGHT?!?!

    HA! Caught you! Busted! HA!!

    Miss Britts last blog post..Behind the scenes of Clearly, You’re Retarded

  14. radioactive tori Says:
    September 4th, 2008 at 7:12 am

    1. I have a seatbelt purse! What color is yours? Mine is lime green but my daughter uses it more than I do!

    2. I love how skinny jeans look but I can’t wear them. I’m sure they would look fine but I would feel all trapped and claustrophobic in them..sort of how you feel about socks.

    3. Congratulations on the weight loss, but more importantly for doing something to make yourself feel good!

    4. I don’t like socks either, and I miss the days when banana clips were socially acceptable.

    radioactive toris last blog post..Sometimes, Often, Almost Never

  15. Karen Says:
    September 4th, 2008 at 7:42 am

    I wear socks but generally not with shoes. Socks are for around the house.

    But Hilly, I have to disagree with you on one thing….I am a bag and shoe brand whore. I would probably kill for a new pair of Jimmys.

    Karens last blog post..The Camera Man Is Down

  16. Jenn Says:
    September 4th, 2008 at 7:50 am

    I think skinny jeans look bad on everyone, no matter how great your body may be.

    I found big, huge fabric scrunchies at Walmart a couple weeks ago. I took a pic and posted them on Flickr and was surprised to have people (who weren’t on the US gymnastics team!) comment that they still used them. ??? I thought those went out when I was in elementary school. I wonder if they still wear them around their wrists…

    Jenns last blog post..Good things

  17. diane Says:
    September 4th, 2008 at 8:04 am

    Great work on the weight loss, and more importantly feeling better!
    I miss banana clips for the same reason. I’d always let a couple of curly tendrils hang out the side to up the “cute” factor. Ha! I think we should see if we can bring them back! ;)

  18. Finn Says:
    September 4th, 2008 at 9:17 am

    I’m with you on all of these things! I liked the banana clips too. I used to curl my hair and throw it up in the clip. Awesome.

    Congrats on the 10 pounds! And I’m thrilled to hear you’re feeling great too.

    Finns last blog post..Thursday Photo: Calm

  19. Nat Says:
    September 4th, 2008 at 11:20 am

    Well done on the 10 pounds!

    I feel the same way about shoes and socks, unfortunately I live up here and well, with snow and all I don’t have much of a choice. Alas. I just assume that everyone is of the same mind I am, it’s when they aren’t that I get my nose out of joint.

    Wow. that should be three paragraphs.

    Nats last blog post..Not so little any more…

  20. Beth Says:
    September 4th, 2008 at 11:35 am

    At one of my wedding showers the game was to see who could make the best guess as to what I’d wear to bed on the wedding night - the answer that I wrote (and NO one guessed) was SOCKS. No matter how naked I am I almost always wear socks. I don’t ever wear flops because I don’t love my ‘toe-show’.

    Yea to the 10 - I wish I could start something. I can just never DO IT, but I really need it. Congrats on your motivation. Send me some!

    Beths last blog post..Camping

  21. jodi Says:
    September 4th, 2008 at 12:10 pm

    I share in your secret longing for the return of the banana clip. my hair was made for that thing, all those waves and curls that look mismatched when it’s down come together beautifully in a banana clip.

    jodis last blog post..Dinner - it may not be pretty, but it’s delicious.

  22. hello haha narf Says:
    September 4th, 2008 at 12:57 pm

    i opened this hours ago, back when radioactive tori had just commented. had so much to say, but this day has chewed me up and is about to spit me out.

    love to you and your 10+ pounds lighter self.

    hello haha narfs last blog post..HNT - My 19th Half Nekkid Thursday

  23. kilax Says:
    September 4th, 2008 at 1:49 pm

    I am always surprised when people are not democrats. Oops. I am not going to make a lot that way.

    Congrats on the weightloss! Doesn’t it feel great! Keep it up :) (or down rather, lol)

    kilaxs last blog post..Friday Question #36

  24. *pixie* Says:
    September 4th, 2008 at 5:41 pm

    I’m a boot cut girl and I like it.

    *pixie*s last blog post..growing up—17 months

  25. *pixie* Says:
    September 4th, 2008 at 5:41 pm

    I also prefer capri pants to shorts—don’t tell Miss Britt. ;)
    *pixie*s last blog post..growing up—17 months

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