March 10th, 2009
“I don’t like to talk on the phone”, someone will say. “You can text me, twitter me, email me, send a royal messenger but please for the love of all that is holy and unholy, do not call me on the phone!”. I find myself nodding in agreement because I too would rather not ever have to talk on the phone. Yet somewhere in the recesses of my mind, I want to reach to the forefront and slap myself for being so damned unsocial. I’m spending more time looking at a keypad and frantically trying to get all of the words that I want to say into one confined space than I would if I just called and said, “Hello, I miss the sound of your voice.” I pause to wonder if typing “haha” or “heehee” or maybe even “LOL” is more appropriate in my sentence. All the while, I could just pick up the damned phone and let the sound of my real laughter tell someone how wonderful I think they are.
I sit down at a table full of people who really make my soul dance. Being in the company of such like-minded individuals is good for me and I crave the social interaction that they bring. We make small talk, maybe even large talk and then it happens….one by one, we reach into our purses or back pockets and pull out our iPhones/Blackberries/SmartPhones, blah blah blah. We sit with these amazing people in our faces, ready to talk about whatever the wind blows in. We may only get limited amounts of time with them and yet somehow, it’s so fucking important that we let the whole of Twitter know what we are doing or even worse…we announce to the table what the whole of Twitter is doing. We’ve started strong as a group of friends but by the end of the “date”, email is being checked and people are only halfway listening to what anyone is saying. If I had any sort of nerve, I’d put my own phone away and ask others to do the same. “You know, I came here to see you, not the back of your iPhone. I sorta know what that looks like already.”
A really good friend or two or five starts yet another blog (I think this makes three now). I sigh, wondering if they know how this is going to affect *me*. Don’t they know that I already have about 234 blogs to read? Sheesh! I add each of their new blogs to my feed reader, wondering how anyone can have that much time. I start kvetching about all the blogs and how “I just don’t have time!” when suddenly I realize that for true friends, I can *make* time. How many blogs do I read that are written by actual, real-life friends? Can I not stop to read all of their stuff before perusing something like Cake Wrecks or Reality Blurred? When a friend embarks on a new site reviewing products like sex toys/mini vibrators, do I not owe it to her to read that? To be supportive? To stop bitching that I have to read “this many damned blogs” in one day? Nobody *has* to do anything when it comes to the online world. Luckily, I can shift my focus and become about quality rather than quantity….that’s my right and my plight.
I’m technology’s whore so I’m not judging when I ask this but uh…why the fuck are we losing the human touch? There’s a time to put the iPhone down and a time to pick it up. Unfortunately, we do exactly the opposite because it’s who we are…how we’re made these days. We’ve got to know things sooner, faster and better. Unfortunately, in doing so, we often forget our manners under the guise of “that’s just the way things are today”. By now, I am sure most of you have seen the Louis C.K. clip from the Conan show but if not, I will post it here. I totally agree with the things he says about all of this and yet, I don’t stop myself when I’m douchey enough own stock in Massengill:
We do live in an amazing time and we’ve really got things easy. Sometimes though, I wish that I could go back and live in the 70’s or even the early 80’s…back when things were simpler and people were a lot less stressed out over moving faster than the other guy. I don’t want to always be carrying and checking my freaking phone and yet, I do it. I don’t want to be tethered to technology and yet I am. I need to remember my manners and pay more attention to people rather than gadgets. How will I remember that though? Hrm, maybe I will set an Outlook reminder that will text my iPhone. I can then Twitter it so everyone knows that’s what I am doing! Yay, perfect! Ahem.
Technology’s Whorebait Kisses,
Me
49 Responses to “My Heart Only Beats 1s And 0s…”
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March 10th, 2009 at 8:00 am
I completely agree that people are too attached to technology. And we’re all guilty of it. The ways I have tried to hold onto the human touch? I don’t Twitter nor do I follow anyone else’s. I only check FB once or twice a day (not all the time). And my mobile phone doesn’t connect to the internet. Text and voice are the only things it’s good for. Maybe I’m stuck in a different age. But, for me, it’s my small way to stay in touch with those around me.
SoMi’s Nilsas last blog post..Love
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Hilly Reply:
March 10th, 2009 at 8:14 am
I think it’s great that you can do that. Sometimes when I am not going far from home, I will just leave my iPhone at home so I am not tempted to check it. You’d think I would just resist temptation on my own but nooooo.
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March 10th, 2009 at 8:08 am
I would much rather you call me than read my review blog. Honestly. I don’t take it personally (although I will tease you about it) if you don’t read all of my blogs.
I don’t read SnackieTeeVee – because we don’t have the same taste in TV. I will ALWAYS read your personal blog because I’m interested in everything personal about you. But even then – I don’t expect you to be offended if I’m the last one to comment and 2 days late because I was off doing something else.
So. Thanks for linking me. And if you want to read about stuff I buy that you might buy too, then cool.
But if you don’t – well, I promise to sit through a dinner with you without my iPhone anyway.
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Hilly Reply:
March 10th, 2009 at 8:13 am
I don’t even write at Snackie TeeVee, hahaha! Ahem.
I know you could sit through a meal without your phone. I’ve seen you do it!
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March 10th, 2009 at 8:09 am
Um – that was not avitable. That was me.
That fucker could never get through a meal without his iPhone.
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Hilly Reply:
March 10th, 2009 at 8:12 am
I fixed it! Thanks for letting me know cause that was funny as hell at first.
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March 10th, 2009 at 8:13 am
All of this technology was made for people like you and me — I never have been a phone person. I’d much rather sit and talk to you for hours than spend five with you on the phone. I don’t why, it just is. Texting, e-mail, blogs — it’s all a way to keep the connection without having to make a phone call.
But yeah, people need to keep it in their pants (purse) once in awhile and look each other in the face.
xoxo
Finns last blog post..Redirect
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Hilly Reply:
March 10th, 2009 at 8:29 am
That should be my new slogan…if you are eating with me, keep it in your pants!
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March 10th, 2009 at 8:14 am
Girlie, I think you are being too hard on yourself. I see your point and share it, and my best response is my standard Smokey the Bear.
Only You Can Prevent Forest Fires. So basically when faced with the table full of Iphones, telling ourselves to just say the words and make them all turn the phones off is the bravest thing we can do.
And if I know anything about you, Hilly, it’s that you are one brave beyotch.
TSM_Oregons last blog post..Peace and Love, Man
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Hilly Reply:
March 10th, 2009 at 8:29 am
I’d probably never say it though because I cannot dictate what other people do. I can lead by example however so maybe I will try that…if I ever get unattached to my own phone.
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March 10th, 2009 at 8:23 am
I can TOO make it through a meal without checking my iPhone! Fuckers.
And I love to talk on the phone. I prefer that over texting and emailing and chatting online. I could talk on the phone for hours, and have.
Avitables last blog post..No cure for hiccups
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Hilly Reply:
March 10th, 2009 at 8:28 am
Every time you get indignant, all I hear is…”I have arms!”.
Hahahahaha!
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Avitable Reply:
March 10th, 2009 at 8:31 am
I. HAVE. ARMS!!!!
Hahahahahaha!
Fuckin’ Britt.
Avitables last blog post..No cure for hiccups
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Miss Britt Reply:
March 10th, 2009 at 8:40 am
Oh my God, I totally forgot what my response was going to be.
hahahahhahahhahahahahhahahahhahahahaha
I HAVE ARMS!!!
hahahhahahahahhahhahahaha
Miss Britts last blog post..With Bated Breath
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March 10th, 2009 at 8:32 am
I spent 35 years of my life not having to text other people or check email through social meals. I don’t think the email has become more urgent in the past year; I just think that people have this impulse to have everything be “in the now” far more often.
However, I sometimes feel more in my element when I’m not totally in “real-time.” Conversational silences make me feel uncomfortable. And I often don’t feel like I’m hearing everything being said. There’s a difference between a face-to-face or phone conversation than one online: The silences online could possibly mean that you’re away from the screen for a bit. Or you might need extra time to read it. Or you’re multitasking. The “silences” are more easily explained.
Then again, there’s nothing quite like the experience of hearing / seeing someone laugh or smile. A simple “LOL” or “LMAO” just doesn’t cut it…
shinys last blog post..Plagiarism Week ‘09 Hits a Few Snags…
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Hilly Reply:
March 10th, 2009 at 9:29 am
I completely understand your reasons, especially knowing you somewhat well. I think that being a person who studies others, like I am, makes it hard when all interaction is done online. I like awkward pauses and immediate reactions rather than canned answers at times. I’m not looking for the most clever thing someone can say, but rather the most honest thing they can say.
So yes, ideally…in person is the best!
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March 10th, 2009 at 8:37 am
[...] point of this is that when I read Hilly’s post this morning about being connected all the time, I found it really nuts that people would whip out [...]
March 10th, 2009 at 8:38 am
I had to blog about it – my response was waaay too long.
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Hilly Reply:
March 10th, 2009 at 9:28 am
Got it!
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March 10th, 2009 at 8:44 am
I am very much not up on technology. My phone is only able to text or talk on. I don’t have internet on there. If I had lunch/dinner with you, I would only be paying attention to you. It drives me bananas when I finally make an effort to meet up with someone in person and all they do is text or play with their phone. (I am not talking about anyone on the internet here, I am talking about my real life friends and family…there is one person in particular that I have been known to say crazy things such as “then a monkey flew out of my butt” or “then the roof fell off the house and the whole thing exploded” when I think they are not listening. Guess what? They have never noticed. Makes me feel very very small and unimportant).
radioactive toris last blog post..Like a Snake (not at all a Bachelor reference)
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Hilly Reply:
March 10th, 2009 at 9:26 am
I had an old boss that did that. I would be telling him really important work type things and all he would be doing is reading his Blackberry over and over and over and over. Later on, I would get in trouble for not having told him something. What?
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March 10th, 2009 at 8:47 am
Well, for me, the reason I like online exposure as opposed to use of the phone is the delay involved. If I read something online, I can take a moment to soak it up, figure out what a person means if I’m confused, and retort appropriately. Phones are just as bad as face-to-face contact, your reaction is immediate whether because you actually give an unthought out response or just by facial giveaways. There’s no time to think about it and that’s dangerous. Very dangerous.
So, yeah, I’ll stick to online communicating whenever possible.
kapgars last blog post..Dance, dance, we’re falling apart to half time…
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Hilly Reply:
March 10th, 2009 at 9:25 am
I don’t like phone calls for some of the reasons you mentioned but mostly because I am so fidgety that when I want to go, I want to freaking go. This is why I don’t chat much either.
There are just times when I wonder why the hell I am texting for days when I could just call, drop a few sentences, then be done with it.
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March 10th, 2009 at 9:28 am
I’m bad about the phone- I would rather text or email – to make plans.
Given the choice, I will always take an in person visit over anything.
And since I’m not nearly as technological as y’all, I don’t get nearly as distracted (i.e. my phone only rings, and texts. If it does more, I haven’t discovered it yet…)
xo
Princess of the Universes last blog post..Bullets (not the sex toy)
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March 10th, 2009 at 9:46 am
I won’t even accept texts on my phone, rarely Twitter, and never screw with my phone during meals or nights out. It makes me nuts, and I’ve long wanted to just throw my cell phone away for all the reasons you mentioned. We grew up without cell phones! That would KILL kids nowadays!
However, I do loves my computer.
Sybil Laws last blog post..20. Really?!
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March 10th, 2009 at 10:10 am
My hubby HATES to talk on the phone. He’d rather text. So if I call him… he FORCES himself to answer half the time. Half the other time he’ll text me back, “Sorry I missed your call babe. what did you need?” ass! LOL
Me? I don’t like talking on the phone either. I’m on the phone enough at work. BUT if I’m hanging with someone, I’m the bitch that says (and no, I’m not making this up or exaggerating) “PUT YOUR FUCKEN PHONE AWAY OR I’M GONNA TAKE IT FROM YOU BITCH.”
It’s a pet peeve of mine and everybody knows it. So most of the time they “keep it in their pants.”
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March 10th, 2009 at 11:05 am
Great post. I definitely think it’s a good idea to back away from the tech when you’re having face time.
But man, I can not stand voicemails anymore. Voicemail needs to go the way of the dodo
lizrizs last blog post..How Awesome Would It Be If Swingline sent Suebob to BlogHer This Year?
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March 10th, 2009 at 11:25 am
I sometimes like to get away from technology, and I can do that as well. I am not completely online – I don’t have a Facebook page or I don’t twitter, not really.
Leesas last blog post..Personal Days
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March 10th, 2009 at 12:10 pm
I am so horrible at checking my phone when I’m with people! It started really in high school because really who actually pays attention in class? Apparently I didn’t.
Now it’s just a habit to check it every so often. I’m trying hard to break it because it’s so rude I think. You’d think I’d learn since I hate when people do that to me..but no my skull is thick.
However I hate talking on the phone because I talk with hands. It’s hard to move your hands and hold your phone to ear at the same time. Then I just get frustrated because I will start to move my hands and forget that I need to have the phone to my ear to actually hear what people are saying.
Sarahs last blog post..Work and swimwear
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March 10th, 2009 at 2:33 pm
I love my iPhone! I try not to pull it out at the table, though, unless I get a text. Then I will check to see if it’s from the boy and if it’s important. Cell phones and texting are, in my opinion, awesome tools for parents. I can get in touch with the boy anytime, anywhere, whereas my mom had to hunt me down.
I have a couple of people I like to talk to on the phone, but mostly I text and email. Sometimes it’s because of time constraints, but mostly because I am verbally impulsive and get myself into all kinds of trouble without a six second delay. Visual communication lowers my incidents of foot in mouth disease!
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March 10th, 2009 at 3:30 pm
You are right, it all does get to be a bit much. Or a LOT much.
I’ve backed off a little lately, and though it may not be a permanent thing, I’ve been a little more peaceful because of it and that has to be a good thing.
justruns last blog post..On training and the scale
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March 10th, 2009 at 4:43 pm
I just hate talking on the phone. Everybody who knows me, knows this. I have no problem at all talking face-to-face, so I don’t think it’s a matter of despising human contact… I just don’t like phones.
Dave2s last blog post..Mondays
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March 10th, 2009 at 4:55 pm
“I totally agree with the things he says about all of this and yet, I don’t stop myself when I’m douchey enough own stock in Massengill:” That is one freaking brilliant piece of writing.
After boss from hell who liked to email even though he could shout at me through the wall, I decided I would make it a point to talk to people when I could. And I really find it upsetting and yes, rude when people pull out iPhones or BB mid-conversation. (Yes, even in business meetings.) I’ve given up on secondary blogs.
Yeah, I read a tonne of blogs.I was feeling compelled to comment. I forced myself to let that go.
Still one day, if we are somewhere near the same zip/postal code, I hope we can turn off our iPhones and have a conversation.
Nats last blog post..Quiet, the muse and fairy juice
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March 10th, 2009 at 5:59 pm
I haven’t signed up for Twitter for a reason. I figure that Facebook is enough.
If I’m out at a restaurant with others, my phone is in my purse on silent. Anyone who calls can leave a message. I only pull it out if someone asks something that requires me to look something up — like someone else’s phone number. Or if I’ve forgotten to bring my camera and want to take a photo.
When I’m watching my skank viewing, the phone is generally plugged into the charger across the room. Because my friends have their own ringtones, I can decide if I really want to take the call or not.
Oh, even though I spend a lot of time with electronic stuff, I’m more of a phone call kind of gal. I like to hear the voice on the other end. Might have something to do with living alone though. One can only have so many conversations with the cats in a day.
Kailyns last blog post..I went to market
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March 10th, 2009 at 7:20 pm
I recently had a falling out with a friend of mine. I hadn’t seen her for three months as she had been working overseas. Over coffee she spent 42 mins 23secs talking on her iPhone. I timed it because she was so busy talking on the phone I had nothing else to do, but apparently she couldn’t wait to see me. After an hour I left. ‘F**k you and f**k your iPhone,’ I said. Sometimes all the technology obsession in the world drives me mad. But like Sybil, I do love my computer!
Selmas last blog post..Then And Now
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March 10th, 2009 at 7:32 pm
I needed this. I have been addicted to reading blogs lately. I was shocked one day at work when talking with my coworkers made me feel so good. Not that I don’t like them, I just don’t talk to them that often. Yikes.
kilaxs last blog post..Yes, I love technology…
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March 10th, 2009 at 9:02 pm
Technology’s Whorebait Kisses
you kill me
flutters last blog post..Pet peeves (alternately titled: Hormones, I haz them)
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March 10th, 2009 at 9:15 pm
I have a really tough time with that because I’m so that way. I’m always telling people about this blog post that I read or about this blogger that I read or about how funny this thing that I saw on Facebook was… do I not have anything besides my online life? And I do spend time with my friends. I go out for lunches and I spend weekends away from my computer quite often, but… I’m so attached. Worse than that is the feeling I get when I think about deleting my Facebook or Twitter or something. I get anxious. Maybe that’s a sign that I really should just get rid of it and move on. Hmm. I think I might need to blog about this. You keep making me think, darn you!
Courtneys last blog post..Body Image
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March 11th, 2009 at 12:57 am
I am in the same case as you are.
Paul Us last blog post..The TV that blogging bought
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March 11th, 2009 at 3:10 am
“I’m technology’s whore so I’m not judging when I ask this but uh…why the fuck are we losing the human touch? There’s a time to put the iPhone down and a time to pick it up.” well said!
i totally admit to being more of a people in person kind of person. as much as i love my computer, i prefer face time. often i tell someone who calls my cell phone, “i’m sorry, but i am at dinner with so and so, may i call you back later.” while it isn’t the caller’s fault that i only have a mobile phone so they don’t know they are calling while i am with a friend, it is my fault if i keep talking and ignoring my companion. why would anyone want to do fun stuff with me if my nose is always looking down at a phone or talking on one?
hello haha narfs last blog post..Well That Was Unexpected!
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March 11th, 2009 at 6:33 am
Can I talk about the phone? I don’t like it at all! Well sometimes I do if it’s a long distance call. I prefer email but try not to sound too rude when I want to get off the phone. Also when you have kids you don’t have time to do that kind of stuff.
mrsmoguls last blog post..Pop Links: Katie Holmes, Madonna, American Idol
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March 11th, 2009 at 9:50 am
I hate phones so much I haven’t checked my own line now for, gosh, 4 months?
Heck, I’ve never even texted anyone. Email is still life for me.
Data points, Barbara
Barbara Ling, Virtual Coachs last blog post..Trampoline fitness even an elephant can do
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March 11th, 2009 at 4:06 pm
I’m always reluctant to jump into the new tech gagets no matter how much people and the marketing campaigns try to push them on me.
I read blogs for years before I started one but that is about the extent of my on-line addiction. I recently renewed my cell phone contract but didn’t upgrade for text and internet services. The sales guy looked at me like I was an alien when I told him I just wanted my phone to make calls.
I’ve had tons of friends ask me to join Facebook and Twitter and all those social networking sites but I’m afraid I’ll get too wrapped up in the tech world and I’ll never get away from the screens. The other problem is I can’t remember half the people from high school and don’t want to hear all those “don’t you remember me” or “remember when …” It might have something to do with all the consumption of the hippy lettuce but that is another story.
I’m no tech whore.
MBs last blog post..Spring Ahead …
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March 11th, 2009 at 5:46 pm
I so can relate LOL! I’m a tech junkie, totally lost without my computer. I need to pick up the phone and talk to some friends…thanks.
TMWWs last blog post..My New Camera Arrived!
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March 12th, 2009 at 5:39 am
Haha, can you imagine what life would be like without cell phones? And by that I mean iPhones, and by that I mean so we can text, email and twitter and blog. Who needs voice minutes?
Hockeymans last blog post..Bath Videos
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March 12th, 2009 at 7:23 am
I hate the phone but i hated it long before there were cell phones or even internet. it just makes me uncomfortable, the awkward silences and not knowing how to end the call. i HATE it. So i would rather email and text or even just see the person IN person, that’s how i roll. on the other hand, if I am hanging out with someone i do NOT use my phone, ever. I don’t answer calls or texts and i hate when others do it to me.
Robins last blog post..Biding My Time
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March 12th, 2009 at 10:00 am
hill-o-beans! we sure miss you over in Tall Girl land. we need someone like yourself to liven things up! maybe a just a li’l visit some day? i miss your snackie ass!
as for the phone, i used to love it. i think i hate it now because of the delay on the mobile. very uncomfortable. love louis ck, though!
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March 12th, 2009 at 8:33 pm
Phone vs email/text/twitter is like TV vs talk radio.
When you’re on the phone, you actually devote a significant portion of your attention. You *can* do other things while you’re on the phone, but if you do, they’re trivial.
Just like when you watch a TV show. You’re engaged. You’re devoted to a large extent.
However, email, texting and twittering are little interruptions and don’t require such single-threaded devotion.
Tust like talk radio. You can listen to a radio show WHILE you do other things. It would be rare for someone to actually stop what they’re doing and listen to a talk radio show. They fill up their ears with stuff while they’re busy with their hands.
whalls last blog post..Guest Post: Throwing your voice
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March 22nd, 2009 at 11:17 pm
[...] of those who are simply addicted to their cel phones and mobile internet devices. (Here’s one well-written post on the subject.) The notion that there are some who simply can’t go out to dinner with [...]