June 25th, 2009
As I may have mentioned yesterday and the day before (yanno, in bold face font), this is Blog Reader Appreciation Week and the hot madcap action continues today! This week is all about me appreciating the hell out of you and the rewards rock the cock! Some of you are lurkers, some readers who pass by once and again, some regular commenters and blog friends for years, and others who have wormed their way into my everyday life and have become my dearest friends. No matter how long we’ve known each other or how well we know each other, I am here to tell you that ALL of you matter. Without each and every one of you, this would just be Hilly’s Blog, not the wonder that is Snackie’s World because hi….a “world” needs a diversity of cool people running around and shit.
You may recognize this post as being almost identical to the one I did last year at this time. First of all, I went to the doctor and was diagnosed with a severe ear infection yesterday so my creativity level? Pretty much non existent. However, I also love the idea of giving you a place to make your voices heard (as I just mentioned like three seconds ago). Therefore, that’s what today is all about here in my crazy little cupcake den of whoredom.
Sometimes we all want to vent and just say something to someone that they really need to hear. Well okay, maybe it’s something that we really need to say, but common senses dictates that we hold it in and zip the fucking lip. I know that in a perfect world, we’d say whatever we want to to whomever we want to but yanno, it’s not always cool or necessary to do so. It may surprise you to know that I actually hold a lot inside of me when writing this blog. I know that people from various sections of my non-net life read and there is only so much I want them knowing about me. I also know that Shawn still reads my blog as do some of his friends and family so I tread lightly on the subject of divorce. Oh you may *think* I talk about it a fuckton but no, I talk about my emotions on the subject, not the details. I find myself doing this in everyday life a lot too because I don’t just blab out everything I want to, contrary to popular belief! But it can get frustrating, can’t it? Not having a place to put that random shit out there by saying what you want to say?
Well fear no more, cause I am totally down for you! Today I want you to let it rip! Is there something you are just dying to say to someone, negative or positive? Would you prefer to not have to name that person but just freaking be able to say it? Here’s the deal….go ahead and say whatever it is that you need to say here, no questions asked. You can say direct your statements or keep them generalized. In a way, this is like the Confession Booth posts in that you can use your real name when you comment or you can comment anonymously….just remember that pesky auto-fill if you want to be anonymous! Also, just like the Confession Booth posts, I will probably post anonymous statements in the comments as well. Shit, a woman needs to appreciate herself too!
In case you are confused, here are some examples of the things that I want to say to certain people out there…
1.) It’s not always funny, you know. Sometimes it’s just plain mean and offensive.
2.) I think about you from the moment I wake til the moment I sleep. I hope that changes one day.
3.) Your disappearance and the fact that you “disowned” me? Yeah, not phased.
4.) I don’t deserve to be labeled as “a mistake”.
5.) You’re a backstabbing, evil coward. Every time I see your picture, I want to smack your avatar.
6.) I’m pretty sure conversations take place when two people get to speak, not one.
7.) I’m not fooled by your sweet words. You’re a total man whore.
8.) You’re not funny. Not at all. Seriously, stop thinking that you are.
9.) I’m not sure where I’d be without the love of TNT.
10.) We’re totally going to have sex one day. You just don’t know it yet.*
And there you go…that’s how it’s done. So please, have at it…vent away by saying exactly what it is that you want to say!
Oh and the prize? Well, each person who comments today will be once again entered into the randomizer to win a super secret special prize. What? No, no it’s NOT because I am too sick to think up the prize today. Ahem. No no, it’s because I want this to be all mysterious and have you compete for what is behind door three! Ahem. Anydoodle, it’s all you, cats and kittens!
Cryptic Is What We Do Best Kisses,
Me
*Inside joke, people…inside joke.
110 Responses to “Slap Me If I Say “Appreciation” One More Time…”
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June 25th, 2009 at 10:22 am
1. You really bring nothing to my life and I really resent being called at YOUR convenience. Friends should be friends all the time.
2. I love you, but I am honestly shocked at how stupid you are. The reason I’m so b*tchy to you all the time? Is because it’s all I can do to keep from shaking you.
3. You make me laugh and think and totally make me nervous and happy all at once. Crap. I think I’m in trouble.
4. Hilly is the most awesome person ever.
xo
[Reply]
Hilly Reply:
June 25th, 2009 at 10:58 am
4. You are way too nice to me. Way.
[Reply]
June 25th, 2009 at 10:32 am
1) I’m pretty sure that you don’t like me a single teensy tiny drop. I’m okay with that but it’d be a lot better for my mental health if you’d cut the bullshit and quit faking it.
2) I wish that you would get your shit figured out so that I can finally stop feeling responsible for your every move. So I can stop feeling that guilt that comes along every time you fall of the wagon again and I feel like there must be some way that I could have stopped it.
3) I think you are the laziest person I have ever met. Just because you have children does not mean you have, in some distorted dysfunctional way, earned the “right” to be a stay at home mom. Get some birth control, get the fuck off welfare, get your GED, get a fucking job and take care of your kids the right way. Being a SAHM is a PRIVILEGE not a RIGHT.
4) Just because I am not a SAHM does not mean that you are a better mom than I am. (I’m actually working on a post about this – maybe I’ll finally finish it today.)
[Reply]
Hilly Reply:
June 25th, 2009 at 10:57 am
Yah, I have a person like your number one. I know this person doesn’t like me AT ALL yet have no idea why they even pretend. Sheesh.
[Reply]
June 25th, 2009 at 10:41 am
Why do you make yourself miserable bitching about things you cannot control? Everything is not a slight directed at you; shit just happens sometimes.
Wow… I only have one? I must be getting good at saying what I feel!
[Reply]
Hilly Reply:
June 25th, 2009 at 10:57 am
Go you! I’ve been getting a LOT better myself. I’ve noticed that this bunch is filled with less vitriol than usual so there’s that.
[Reply]
Hilly Reply:
June 25th, 2009 at 10:57 am
Oh and also? I could have said exactly what you did. Exactly.
[Reply]
floatingprincess Reply:
June 25th, 2009 at 11:09 am
Amen! I have one of those too and it makes me crazy!
[Reply]
June 25th, 2009 at 10:42 am
I only like two people out of your little clique or group or whatever. The other ones? I loathe with a fiery passion and want them to never talk or write again.
(And no, this is not about my girls at the Bitches Mafia AT ALL!)
[Reply]
Dana Reply:
June 26th, 2009 at 1:34 pm
Bitches Mafia? OMFG! That is A-MAZING. Now we need new t-shirts.
[Reply]
June 25th, 2009 at 10:49 am
Oh I soooooo said them and it felt so good! haha
It’s here (to save me typing it out again):
http://www.breigh.com/wordpress/archives/2279
[Reply]
Hilly Reply:
June 25th, 2009 at 10:56 am
I remember those…good ones, all of them.
[Reply]
June 25th, 2009 at 10:50 am
Your fly is down.
[Reply]
Hilly Reply:
June 25th, 2009 at 10:56 am
Zip it up for me.
[Reply]
Iron Fist Reply:
June 25th, 2009 at 3:18 pm
Oh! I thought maybe you wanted me to tip you a dollar.
[Reply]
June 25th, 2009 at 10:53 am
1. If I could, I drag you down to hell and shove you up Satan’s ass myself.
2. Also, you were selfish in bed. Just as in everything else.
3. And your wrinkly boobs sag. When you took your shirt off I thought ‘Walmart’ should’ve been written on each one. They are that bad.
4. Being a selfish, hackneyed cunt does not in anyway make you hot. Or cool.
5. We both know I have no standards, but you are the one person I wish I could un-fuck.
[Reply]
Hilly Reply:
June 25th, 2009 at 10:56 am
Now that’s what I’m talking about! Wow, glad you got to unload!
[Reply]
bo Reply:
June 25th, 2009 at 11:31 am
That’s what she said!
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June 25th, 2009 at 10:57 am
1. I am SO tired of reading the tweets about your perfect mothering..Seriously, shut the hell up.
2. So you marry someone 6 years older than me and forget your adult children exist?
3. I swear, dear family member of mine- if you pop out one more baby and ask us why we don’t have more? It may get ugly.
4. Yes, I WILL lose my weight.. Stop asking what you can do to help. It’s about ME, not you.
5. Dear Friend Who Really Isn’t – No, you’re right, I don’t care for you – I loathe how you talk about everyone, I LOATHE how you flip your hair and truly find it horrible how you feel like you need to stab everyone in the back.
[Reply]
Hilly Reply:
June 25th, 2009 at 11:00 am
Amen to it being about you and not the other person. And seriously, someone tweets about how awesome of a Mom they are?
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June 25th, 2009 at 10:57 am
1. stop bragging. frankly you do a good job of making the rest of us feel like shit.
2. stop saying sorry. you say it so much it makes everyone uncomfortable. just relax and be yourself.
3. I only like four people out of your little clique or group or whatever. The other ones? I loathe with a fiery passion and want them to never talk or write again. (totally not PRB folks, btw) Ha Hilly, I stole yours!
4. You may fool some people, but I know the truth about you.
Whew, thanks Hilly – that made me feel better! xo
[Reply]
Hilly Reply:
June 25th, 2009 at 11:00 am
Oooh number four, me too! Can I steal THAT one? Yes? Okay, thanks!
[Reply]
June 25th, 2009 at 11:00 am
1. Thanks for trying to destroy my life with your backstabbing bitchery. In actuality? You made it TONS better! So, really…thanks! You solved a huge problem of mine, and made everything much easier to deal with. Oh, and I also hope you’re miserable and lonely now.
2. You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever known, even if you don’t always realize it yourself. You’ve changed my life for the better in so many ways, and I will always, always, always love you. Always.
3. I’m so glad we’re just friends. Life is so much calmer now.
[Reply]
June 25th, 2009 at 11:03 am
When I read “We’re totally going to have sex one day. You just don’t know it yet.” I nearly spit my coffee out! Before my married days, I thought that a time or two myself. Hey, we’re being honest here, right?
Ok, things I wish I could just say outloud….
1) I don’t want your job. I’m not trying to steal your job. I’m just trying to do MY job which entails me to know just a little bit of what the hell it is that you do all day! We aren’t 12, stop with the dirty looks and the heavy sighs.
2) You on the other hand are going to lose your job come fall and I’m scared to tell you. You think that you’re going full time and you aren’t. I’m so sorry. I don’t know how to tell you.
3) I think you’re great and awesome. I scared though to tell you because I’m fearful you will think I’m just being fake because you’ve seen me be fake and I can’t hide behind my fake smiles with you like I can others. So, I just say nothing and hope that you know.
4) You say, “we can’t be those people that only see each other twice a year” because we are family. Well, then CALL ME! I think you say those things to make yourself feel better that we don’t see each other. But damn it makes me feel like shit and instead of writing comments on my facebook page about how we don’t’ see each other, why don’t you pick up the phone and call me instead. Sometimes I wish we weren’t family because you make me feel so bad about myself the few times we do see each other throughout the year.
5) You could have been so much more than you are… One of my biggest fears is that I wake up one morning and realize that I’ve turned into you.
[Reply]
Robin Reply:
June 25th, 2009 at 12:40 pm
ooh – I love #1!!
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June 25th, 2009 at 11:04 am
1) Stop making everything all about you. It’s causing a lot of people to be miserable, and one day you’re going to find out the hard way that nobody wants to be around you anymore.
2) It’s only a matter of time before everybody catches on to your bullshit. I don’t know what your damage is, and frankly don’t care if I ever know. I’m just glad to be sitting in the bleachers instead of playing on your field of drama.
3) You are not nearly as hot as you think you are. I know you believe that the reason people avoid you is because you intimidate them with your looks… but the real reason is that you’re a pompous ass and people just don’t like you.
4) You act like a whiny little bitch and proclaim life is “unfair” every time something doesn’t go exactly as you wanted it to. Wake up and smell the real world, then shut the fuck up.
5) Um, yeah… not only do you not know everything, but you are flat-out wrong most of the time. I used to find this amusing, but now I just find it pathetic.
6) You have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about. If you’re going to embellish and extrapolate from a few pieces of bad information, then you might want to be more careful when talking to people who know the truth. Now everybody just thinks you are a liar. Well guess what? You are a liar.
7) You need to take a reality check as to what you actually do. It’s not what you think it is, and you just look like an ass when you build yourself up to be something you’re not. Bonus points for judging other people by criteria where you have zero professional authority.
8) If you were to disappear off the face of the earth, nobody would miss you. You’ve caused such pain to so many people that I dare say even your own mother would be glad you’re gone.
9) When I say “don’t take it personally”… well, in your case you should take it personally because it is. I don’t consider my telling you this a lie… it’s just bad advice.
10) Seriously. Just give it up already. Nothing you do will ever change what you did, and nobody is ever going to forgive you. Why not just pack up your shit and start over someplace far, far away where nobody knows what a reprehensible douchebag of a disgusting human being you are. And I am using the term “human being” loosely here, obviously.
[Reply]
June 25th, 2009 at 11:06 am
It occurs to me that this could be a dangerous thing for me, like opening the floodgates! I may not be able to stop!
1. Your pretensions are completely unfounded and obnoxious.
2. Every time you lie to me I like you less and less.
3. Your secret-keeping is affecting our relationship to the point that I no longer care all that much if it continues.
4. You are a breath of fresh air in my life and I’m glad I met you!
5. The fact that you lurk around my life in a secretive stalker way bugs the living shit out of me.
6. I saw you the other day for the first time in years, and had no desire to say hi or talk to you at all.
See? I can go on and on…and on!
[Reply]
June 25th, 2009 at 11:23 am
I have no idea what I am doing. Stop trying to tell me what to do, b/c neither do you!
I deserve to be paid attention to and to come first sometimes. Stating this fact does NOT make me selfish, and it does not make me a bad mom. You ignoring this fact DOES make you selfish, especially after I have asked nicely.
You are straight-out bonkers. Please stop messing up my life!
[Reply]
June 25th, 2009 at 11:29 am
oooh another one…
5. We may not have a lot in common, but I’ve always thought you were really talented and cool. I have a hard time approaching you because I think you don’t like me very much. I hope I’m wrong!
[Reply]
June 25th, 2009 at 11:50 am
Dear Robert Pattinson…I don’t think you’re really in love with Kristen Stewart. I think you’re both pretending because it helps movie sales. When you’re ready to admit it, I’ll be here with the whipped cream.
[Reply]
Kyra Reply:
June 25th, 2009 at 1:18 pm
…and chocolate syrup.
[Reply]
June 25th, 2009 at 12:31 pm
Oh how I love the idea behind this post! I did a similar venting post a few weeks ago and it felt marvelous to get that shit off my chest. I’d love to say, “Yo, bitch. Running with your headphones on and crossing a street against the light without looking for cross-traffic is REALLY FUCKING STUPID, you dumb whore.” Oh wait, I think I did say something like that this morning when I almost hit her. Idiot!
[Reply]
June 25th, 2009 at 12:37 pm
1 – STOP living in your bubble and experience life – you know…different people, different cities, different counties. I promise, there are more things to life Suffolk County.
2 – Thank you for continuing to believe in me. I shouldn’t be letting my guard down so much, but I think it’s time to be vulnerable.
3 – I love you so much – thanks for being my friend and tolerating my weirdness. I know I can be overwhelming somtimes. You’re the shit. (this is directed to more than one person but less than 5, BTW)
4 – Sweetie, I hate to break it to you, but you can’t compete with me. So don’t even try.
5 – Fed Ex – WHERE ARE YOU??
6 – I think you’re so amazing. If you weren’t hopelessly devoted to your girlfriend of many years, I would be all over you like white on rice…and trust me, you’d like it. ::wink::
I’ll stop now or else i’ll be here all day.
[Reply]
June 25th, 2009 at 12:39 pm
1. Stop throwing trying to throw me under the bus everytime you fuck up, take fucking responsability.
2. Stop treating the people you care about like your dog, in fact stop treating your dog like that. Go to therapy instead and figure out how to treat people better before you lose everyone.
3. Stop pretending like everything is fine and then talking about him behind his back, learn to…you know…talk to people. Being a man doesn’t mean you just pretend shit doesn’t happen and ignore it, being a man means dealing with everything, including emotions.
[Reply]
June 25th, 2009 at 12:42 pm
Oh this is good… whew.
1.) If I don’t answer my fucking phone, it doesn’t mean I’m ignoring you.
2.) Quit leaving nasty voicemails on my phone if I don’t answer. You always will leave one and say, “Why do you even have a fucking phone, you never answer the fucking thing anyway.”
3.) You can bitch at me while I’m driving yet when I say one word to you while you’re driving, you fly off the fucking handle.
4.) I wish your parents knew that you talked to tons of women online while we were dating and I caught you every single time by either that woman messaging me and letting me know what was going on, or by finding info through your email because you forgot you told me your password a long time ago.
5.) I should have left your ass when you told me you didn’t love me anymore and didn’t want anything to do with me when I was in Mexico for 1 week with 25 of my immediate family members on a family vacation. Don’t forget you told me this on Day 2 and it ruined my entire rest of my vacation. Then I get home to find out you met a chick online and you were in love with her and loved her and you were using that week of me being in mexico to see if you could handle being on your own.
6.) You’re turning into your fucking Dad and I can’t stand it. All of the men in your family are chovanistic assholes that have a corn cob stuck so far up their ass, I’m surprised they can’t taste it. You’re not close behind.
7.) I sit here and watch your mom just bow down to your dad and do whatever he says or wants – he rules the roost, but I’ll be damned if that’s the role I’m going to play. I’ll stand up for myself and tell you exactly what’s on my mind before you say jump and I say how high. No way will it ever get to that point – I’ll leave your ass.
8.) You’re a raging fucking asshole who doesn’t realize how much of jerk you are to not only me but to others. Oh, and your temper? HA! I wish everyone you know, knew that when you get pissed while your playing call of duty 4 online that when you don’t get your way you take those hard 360 controllers and twist them with your arms until they shatter or you break them by throwing them, or what about that one that you took outside and shot to pieces? Yeah, I wish they knew that you’ve gone through 6 controlles in the past year because you can’t control your fucking temper.
9.) You have no idea how close I was to doing something REALLLLLLLLLLL bad when we were in Walmart the other day and you had the fucking nerve to flip out when a pregnant lady and her 2 kids were standing in front of the gatorade that you wanted. You never even said Excuse Me to her, and you flipped out, Said, “FUCK THIS! I guess I didn’t want any fucking gatorade if people can’t fucking move.” I wish you would have saw the look on her face. I wanted to crawl in a hole an die.
10.) After that incident I told you, “Did you even say Excuse me?” and you replied, “No I didn’t fucking say Excuse Me, could she not see I was looking at those?” I said, “DO YOU THINK SHE CAN READ YOUR FUCKING MIND? SHE WOULD HAVE MOVED IF YOU WOULD HAVE SAID EXCUSE ME.” and you had the nerve to say, “Fuck You” to me and say you were leaving, and not taking me with back home.
11.) After you left the store, I wandered for 30 minutes aimlessly in shock of what you just did to someone in public, and although I know you wouldn’t leave without me because I know you, I was secretly hoping you would have because all hell would have broke loose. And then when you had the nerve to text me and tell me when i was done you were out in the parking lot, and then I asked you what you wanted me to do with the food and you fucking said to me, “If I come back in will you treat me like your husband or like an asshole?”. I could absolutely not even BELIEVE you had the nerve to ask that. Fuck the husband part, you were being an asshole times 10 fucker, and I would have paid to see her come up to you and flip out. You did NOT need to say FUCK THIS F this f taht in front of two 7 year olds. What the hell were you thinking?
……UGH, I could keep going but I won’t. Yes, it’s all about my husband and yes he’s a fucking douchewad 75% of the time.
[Reply]
June 25th, 2009 at 12:54 pm
1. You need to stop waiting for things to fall in your lap. If you want something then start working towards it.
2. Quit with the damn phone calls ALL day. You’re being paid to work and I’m not paid enough to have to listen to your personal drama.
3. The only person that can make you stop drinking is you. I’m here for you but I can’t promise I will be forever if you don’t try.
[Reply]
June 25th, 2009 at 1:10 pm
Ok… Not going anon on this one.
1) Get over yourself. No, really. Do. You may think that the world fucking revolves around you, but it doesn’t. I’m pretty sure they didn’t even name a single strand of grass after you, much less the town which you “fondly” say you own.
2) Is it so damn hard to put another trash bag in the bin when you take out the full one? Seriously? (Heh, I so wish this one didn’t bug me. :laugh: )
3) I know I said I was happy for you, but on the inside I just felt more left behind, and trapped than ever.
4) I wish you hadn’t done this to me, and even though it’s been 17 years it’s like you get to do it once more. I’m suddenly a teenager, and I’m a mess. I can’t sleep because it happens again, I can’t eat, I cry, I become a bad person trapped inside this… rerun. And I can’t decide who I hate more because of it. Me or you. Probably me.
5) Stop telling me how fucking great he is. He never does anything right, and then when he shows any spark of responsibility you rave like he’s cured cancer. He can’t even get a fucking JOB and take care of his children, you’re supporting him, and *I* am still the fuck-up. Bite me.
6) I’m sorry. You have no idea how sorry I am, and always will be.
[Reply]
June 25th, 2009 at 1:32 pm
Sorry, one more
7) I think you’re mean. I mean, really mean. You seem like a generally nice person to everyone, you cultivate it – but when it comes down to it? You’re mean. Viciously. And the worst part is that I think you actually pride yourself on how mean you are.
[Reply]
Hilly Reply:
June 25th, 2009 at 2:56 pm
Sorry, I’ll try harder to be nice.
[Reply]
June 25th, 2009 at 1:44 pm
1. I really could care less that I’m not invited to your wedding. I wish you all the happiness in the world, but I’m still pretty sure you are very much in the closet.
2. I think it’s kinda rude how you told me about #1s wedding, but hell, it’s not a big deal and compared to some things you’ve done, it’s pretty minor.
3. I don’t want to hear about your sex life with other women. At all. And I really don’t know why you tell me about it, other than to try to make me jealous, which I’m not, because I’m very happy where I am now.
4. Not only were you screwed up, but I’m pretty sure your whole family is screwed up as well.
5. Sometimes I just think you are so irresponsible and I contemplate moving because of it.
6. I love you. You probably already know even though I haven’t said it yet, and I’m afraid to say it, but I do.
Damn this is some passive-aggressive fun!
[Reply]
June 25th, 2009 at 2:15 pm
1.
[Reply]
Hilly Reply:
June 25th, 2009 at 3:12 pm
Actually, this is the best confession today! Seriously.
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June 25th, 2009 at 2:21 pm
Please ignore the 1 – my migraine is making me crazier than normal today.
1. I hate that I let my weight define my worth
2. I know I need a therapist but am terrified to take that first step
3. I spend WAY too much money on beauty products
[Reply]
June 25th, 2009 at 2:26 pm
It’s hard to think of something right now. The only think I can think of is:
1) Can I ask you out or would it be weird for you to date a client?
Oh, oh. I thought of something else which goes for several people.
2) Stop thinking you know better than me what’s best for me.
[Reply]
June 25th, 2009 at 2:36 pm
1. I miss who you used to be because you were constant and genuine. It’s hard for me to accept the fake and selfish bits when you seem to value them so much.
2. I keep your secrets and know about your lies and still love you. Sometimes I wish you could appreciate that rather than treat me like I’m below you suddenly.
3. I hated high school drama and really wish you didn’t seem to thrive on it. You have so much more to offer.
4. I used to go out of my way to do nice things for you all the time. Eventually it clicked that you didn’t give a shit, when I realized you did the same for everyone else BUT me.
5. It made me lose all respect for you when you went pussy crazy and walked out on your fiance’ annnnd then lied about everything. I’ve caught you in so many lies I can’t even bare to listen anything you have to say now.
6. You’re always saying what kind of person you are but I am still waiting for you to ACT that way. In fact, I’m beginning to think you’re only that person on paper but in person your true self is revealed.
7. Part of me is very sad to participate in the cryptic shit thing, because now I’m part of something that really fucking bugs me.
[Reply]
Hilly Reply:
June 25th, 2009 at 2:47 pm
Part of me is bothered by this post as well, just so you know. I thought about not doing it again this year but quite honestly for some people, this is the only place they feel they can say these things. Also, I figure if someone doesn’t like this kind of stuff, they have the option of using their browser to run the hell away as fast as they can.
That being said, I didn’t say anything here that I wouldn’t say or haven’t said to someone’s face AND with the exception of 1-2 things, none of this has to do with PRB people at all.
[Reply]
Kyra Reply:
June 25th, 2009 at 2:52 pm
Yeah, but how many of these really cryptic ones do folks go “oh crap… I hope that wasn’t to me… what am I thinking? That’s vain to think it’s about me… Crap. What if it is…”
:duh:
[Reply]
Hilly Reply:
June 25th, 2009 at 2:54 pm
Oh we all do it. Hell, even *I* do it. I basically just got TOLD that this is a shitty thing to have as a post so yanno, there’s that.
I hate it when I try to do cool things and they end up not as cool as I had intended.
[Reply]
ginamonster Reply:
June 26th, 2009 at 9:48 pm
Actually, I kinda like it. It’s a reminder that my crap isn’t as bad as other people’s crap.I suppose it helps that I’m pretty damn sure that no one here is talking about me. YOU could be, but I really doubt it. WE just aren’t that close. at all.
[Reply]
mew Reply:
June 25th, 2009 at 2:56 pm
I totally could have run the other way but then I would be running away from a potential prize!
See? a possible mystery prize is all it took to cave. so sad.
What does PRB stand for?
[Reply]
Hilly Reply:
June 25th, 2009 at 2:58 pm
Prizes make the baby Jesus squee! Sigh, we’re all sellouts.
PRB = People’s Republic of Blogistan. It’s my way of saying “my little corner of the blogosphere”.
[Reply]
mew Reply:
June 25th, 2009 at 3:06 pm
i didn’t tell you this is a shitty thing to post about.
i hope that’s not what you got out of that.
it’s more that i hate when my friends won’t tell me what they’re upset about or rather will bitch to other people about it so nothing can change. for me to do it for the possibility of a prize is what makes me sad.
[Reply]
Hilly Reply:
June 25th, 2009 at 3:07 pm
Oh okay, I think I am projecting and need to walk way from the computer for five fucking minutes.
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June 25th, 2009 at 2:44 pm
1. It’s cute the way you think I give a shit.
2. Your fiancé is gay, G-A-Y – he just doesn’t have the balls to come out yet. I can’t tell you b/c you’re my step-daughter and I don’t want to completely ruin our relationship.
[Reply]
June 25th, 2009 at 2:45 pm
Ooh, fun….
1. You may just be the fakest person I’ve ever met. And that’s saying something. You’re not fooling anyone.
2. You don’t know what my job is, much less how to do it, so stop trying to give me “advice”. You’re just making yourself look ridiculous.
3. Just because you’re having an existential crisis doesn’t mean that I am too. I kinda like my life.
4. If you tell me one more time how big I am, and that there’s no way I’m making it to my due date, or that I must be having twins cuz I’m so big, I may have to punch you in the mouth. Shut up.
5. I love that even after all this time, you make me laugh every day. EVERY day.
[Reply]
June 25th, 2009 at 2:58 pm
1. You’re ruining that kid’s life and fucking the kid up for good.
2. You are so boring. Please give up.
3. I wish you weren’t going.
[Reply]
June 25th, 2009 at 3:01 pm
FYI – I am not answering all of these individually today, just when something strikes me. It is in no way a reflection of how awesome I do or do not think you are. It’s all about the ear infection and how cloggy my head is at present moment!
[Reply]
June 25th, 2009 at 3:03 pm
Reading these makes me feel crabby.
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June 25th, 2009 at 3:14 pm
I have more, which probably makes me a bad person.
8) Pedophiles don’t rehabilitate. I don’t care what you think. You’re wrong, and you shouldn’t have ever put my children at risk with him. How could you.
9) Did you ever really see me? Ever?
10) What would it take to finally be good enough in your eyes, because seriously? I just don’t think I have the fucking time.
11) The way you look at women makes me ill. Seriously. The fact that you can miss that they’re human beings and can only see how they look or what THEY can do for YOU makes YOU the empty one.
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June 25th, 2009 at 3:17 pm
i wish you didn’t marry her.
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June 25th, 2009 at 3:26 pm
1. I’m serious when I say I’m here for you. You may think I’m not, but I totally am. Seriously. I wish you would take me up on my offer of friendship.
2. I don’t set up playdates with you because your son is so mean to my son when you are not looking. Sorry, but it’s true. He just doesn’t want to play with your son.
3. You make me second guess myself constantly. It royally pisses me off.
4. I miss you. And I think about you every day.
5. I’m so glad you’re a friend of mine. I value you in my life. Thank you for being in it.
[Reply]
June 25th, 2009 at 4:20 pm
I was going to write one but Dave already covered it in his first one. I guess I could have just done a cut and paste…
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June 25th, 2009 at 4:47 pm
this will be completely irrelevant since all of my randomness following will have nothing to do with fellow bloggers:
1. why do you treat me like a child?
2. i will never forget, but i have forgiven.
3. i’ve missed you for a very long time and wonder if our friendship will ever return.
(thank you hilly for this release!)
[Reply]
June 25th, 2009 at 4:53 pm
1. Stop judging me because of my past behavior. I’m not perfect and the more you judge me, the worse it makes YOU look.
2. Stop being so hypocritical when it comes to judging what one person does compared to another.
3. I hate the way you speak to me like I’m a fucking idiot. I’m not the smartest person in the world, but I do have great comprehension skills.
4. Get over yourself, you are not all that and a bag of Skittles.
5. Just because I don’t do what YOU want me to do, does not mean that I’m WRONG. It just means I’m being me. Get over it.
6. My side of the street is clean and being maintained daily. Is yours?
[Reply]
June 25th, 2009 at 4:57 pm
The fact that you used his name makes you my fucking hero. Seriously, you are awesome in every way!
[Reply]
Coal Miner's Granddaughter Reply:
June 25th, 2009 at 5:05 pm
Thanks, hon. It’s just all come to a head in the last 48 hours and we’re about to vote tonight whether to remove him as VP or not and I think two other spineless board members will vote no and I’ll still have to put up with his shit. I just had to cut loose somewhere.
[Reply]
June 25th, 2009 at 4:59 pm
Yeah, I’m seconding what Hilly said.
Oh and throwing in a “do you need us to gather forces and go beat the crap out of him?”
[Reply]
Coal Miner's Granddaughter Reply:
June 25th, 2009 at 5:06 pm
Oh, I’m thinking the ConFab group may need to come down and we stand outside his house and blast him with karaoke for a solid week. That might just about do it!
[Reply]
hello haha narf Reply:
June 25th, 2009 at 9:51 pm
cmgd,
i have your back. just say the word and i am on a plane.
[Reply]
June 25th, 2009 at 4:59 pm
1. Just because I don’t want you near me right now doesn’t mean I don’t like you. It just means I need my fucking personal space!
2. I’ve already explained to you how to do this 3 TIMES! It’s not goddamned rocket science, it’s work!
2. Would you PLEASE pick up your shit?! It’s not that difficult.
3. Even though I don’t act like it, I love you with all my heart. I hate all of the baggage we have accumulated. I wish we could be those gooey kids from 15 years ago again.
[Reply]
Christie Reply:
June 25th, 2009 at 6:55 pm
4. When did you become so cold-hearted? Even sadder, you think it’s amusing. It physically disgusts me that you care so little about other people.
[Reply]
June 25th, 2009 at 5:16 pm
1) I am fucking sick and tired of hearing you complain all the goddamn time. Either shut the fuck up or quit.
2) No matter what you seem to think, you are expendable. In this economy, they will have a dozen people lined up and willing to take a job. Any job. That includes your job.
3) Thank you for being such a bitch to him. There’s no way I can fuck up as badly as you did.
4) You were lucky to get a blow-job from me. The putting your hands on my head thing and bobbing me up and down? Not cool. I know what the fuck I’m doing down there.
5) I am an atheist, so STOP PRAYING FOR ME.
6) You might consider me the bitch that ruined your life, but I never so blatantly violated your trust the way you did when you read my diary. Even after I left you, I kept your fetish about liking to watch girls go to the bathroom a secret. (Ooops.)
[Reply]
June 25th, 2009 at 5:18 pm
“The putting your hands on my head thing and bobbing me up and down? Not cool. I know what the fuck I’m doing down there.”
Bwahahaha, awesome. Thank you for making me giggle.
[Reply]
ginamonster Reply:
June 26th, 2009 at 9:53 pm
Serve him right if you puked in his lap…I HATE that!
[Reply]
June 25th, 2009 at 5:22 pm
Don’t you wish we could say what we really think to the people who deserve to hear it?
If I could be brutally honest and not worry about the consequences, I would say:
1. Stop pretending you were a great mother. I know the truth and you would be put in jail for some of the things you did.
2. I can’t stand all the drama anymore. Get over yourself.
3. You people disgust me. I don’t know how you live with yourselves.
4. F*CK you if you can’t be bothered to even say good morning before you start barking orders at me.
5. F*CK YOU! F*CK ALL OF YOU! I QUIT!
Wow, that felt good. Thanks Hilly!
[Reply]
June 25th, 2009 at 5:29 pm
I keep thinking of more things I’d love to say ….
6. Just because you have tons of money doesn’t mean you are better than everyone else, it just means you’re an asshole with lots of money.
[Reply]
June 25th, 2009 at 5:32 pm
Umm….OK.
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Hilly Reply:
June 25th, 2009 at 5:40 pm
*snort*
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June 25th, 2009 at 5:33 pm
1. I left because you got married, then when I went back during my own marriage issues… you used me to make her jealous. And all I ever did was love you. Now I hate you.
2. I am trying to fall in love with my husband again, but I’m afraid it’s not going to work.
Annnnd, yeah, that’s about it.
[Reply]
Hilly Reply:
June 25th, 2009 at 5:44 pm
Some days I actually wish I had that choice, so I hope you can. If not though, you tried.
[Reply]
June 25th, 2009 at 5:36 pm
I thought of another one…almost did it anonymously but then realized it’s not about anyone online, so why go anonymous?
You arbitrarily took your friendship away from me without even asking my opinion or permission and with no explanation.
While you claim to still be my friend, your actions say otherwise and it breaks my heart. It also makes me angry and resentful.
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June 25th, 2009 at 5:38 pm
I hate when the stupid scrolly thing on my laptop mouse pad decides to rebel, especially when I’m using Google Reader. AGH.
Anyway.
I might be just a little jealous. Just a little. But the fact that I’m not ready to be you yet keeps me from going crazy and turning completely green.
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June 25th, 2009 at 5:40 pm
1. your best friend scares the crap out of me. I wish he lived even further away.
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June 25th, 2009 at 5:51 pm
Your prejudice bugs me. It is not funny to make fun of groups of people, it just makes you look intolerant and STUPID.
I do not find your attmepts at humor funny. If you move into my town, I should be your first phone call. Don’t get all butt hurt when I still haven’t called you 3 weeks later…when you never bothered to call in the first place.
You people annoy me. Grow up and get some balls. The world does not revolve around you.
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June 25th, 2009 at 7:57 pm
Oh holy crap….
1. You seriously think you’re the cutest thing that ever walked the planet, and yay! for your ego, but I guarantee you, the only other people who really think that are your husband and mom. Get over yourself.
2) Yes – your kid is cute. She is. But winning – baby – contests cute? No. No. Really. No.
3) Having a lot of money does not make you smarter than anyone else. In fact, I think you’re pretty fucking stupid. Daily.
4) You have so many issues, I am not even sure where to begin. Just do yourself and family a favor, and go get some therapy.
5) I really feel 100% like myself with you. That surprises me, because you also make me nuts. Go figure.
6) When you look at me, I know exactly how you feel. I really can’t even look you back in the eyes – it’s that strong. Scares me.
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flutter Reply:
June 27th, 2009 at 2:06 am
Sybil, I freaking love you.
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June 25th, 2009 at 8:33 pm
1. I REALLY wish you’d get the help you need. Because I can’t worry about your anymore.
2. I should have dated you when I had the chance. Now it’s too late.
3. If I wanted to hook up with you again, I would have by now. So leave me the fuck alone.
4. I still love you and I hate myself for it …
5. You think I’m judging you but you are so far gone, you can’t even see the truth. Sigh.
Now I want a drink …
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June 25th, 2009 at 9:11 pm
While I acknowledge that there was probably a time when you did look that good and you could fit quite admirably in those clothes, nowadays you don’t and you can’t and you have a seven-year-old boy and just shouldn’t and you also shouldn’t at work. Call me a prude.
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June 25th, 2009 at 9:33 pm
there really is only one person that i hold things back from. hell, i hold back from myself what i truly want to say. even just typing it here would be too much like admitting it to myself.
yes, some things really are too much for me to admit to anyone.
i am so fucked up.
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June 25th, 2009 at 10:32 pm
Oh god… you don’t really want me to start this do you? I’m afraid I won’t be able to stop….
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June 25th, 2009 at 10:48 pm
Attention Matt….You have lost out on seeing what a beautiful daughter you have. The 14 years you have spent boozing it up and ignoring her only to raise 2 other kids, it has turned her against you. I would feel sorry for you, but I’m too busy being happy for Taylor.
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June 25th, 2009 at 11:23 pm
I pretty much say the things I want to say. People seem to find it charming, which I think is just weird, because I think I’m generally annoying as hell. And profane, let’s not forget profane.
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June 25th, 2009 at 11:23 pm
Yall have said it all !! But I especially like #10 !!
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June 26th, 2009 at 12:31 am
1) I know you think I am fat, but I wouldn’t fuck you with someone else’s fat ass.
2) I am madly, desperately in love with you and you decided that your bullshit fantasy world was more important. Congrats, I hope you are happy
3) I am not afraid of you and I am not impressed when you are cruel and thoughtless to other people.
4) Yeah, I am softhearted. But it’s not a weakness, because unlike you I actually have feelings. You feel in 110001000011000111
[Reply]
June 26th, 2009 at 12:56 am
1. I really don’t like you. I tolerate you because we roll with the same crowd sometimes. And everytime you tell me that I’m taking something the wrong way when I’m telling it like it is, I want to slap you because you are full of shit and I’m not an idiot.
2. I miss you like crazy. I wish you would call. I understand that sometimes I drive people to space, but I still wish you would call.
3. I love your accent and every time you talk I just want to lick you.
4. Sometimes you are inconsiderate and I’m still afraid to get mad at you because I’m afraid you would get mad at me and not talk to me anymore.
5. When you told me that most people only tolerate me including my best friend who I am currently going through a rocky time with, I should have punched you because that was a nasty, mean spirited, designed to be hurtful thing to say and you don’t know me.
6. This new medicine I’m on is really making things better and I wish you would call me so that I could explain my diagnosis to you so that you would understand. but I’m also afraid that even if I did, it wouldn’t matter because it’s been 10 years.
7. I’m resentful that I had to leave to save our friendship and start over but you got to stay after all I did to help you get the job and everything. yes I know the issues were my fault, but still.
wow, that’s a lot
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June 26th, 2009 at 2:02 am
1. Seriously. Just give it up already. Nothing you do will ever change what you did, and nobody is ever going to forgive you. Why not just pack up your shit and start over someplace far, far away where nobody knows what a reprehensible douchebag of a disgusting human being you are. And I am using the term “human being” loosely here, obviously. (had to borrow, thank you)
2. You’re so nasty to your friend, it makes me sick. I used to like you, but now, I can’t stand the ground you walk on. You don’t deserve friends. PS Get over yourself.
3. You have children and yet you once again choose a man with a record to get involved with! What in the hell are you thinking?!
4. YOU DON’T OWN ME FUCKER!
5. You think you’re so damn sexy because you’re 100lbs soakin’ wet, but really you’re just skanky.
6. (Just) making out with your coworker IS CHEATING!
7. You are the reason you’re children are so screwed up. No seriously, you simple minded two faced twit, it’s YOU!
8. You really get on my last nerve with all the lying. You lie so much even you don’t believe yourself anymore.
9. I’m sorry I hurt you all those years ago and wish to God I could erase the pain I caused you.
10. I would love nothing more than to take the money you hold over our heads and beat your really sorry ass with it. Money doesn’t make a person you lowlife slave driver. May you one day have to live within our means, and work for an asshole such as yourself.
Wow! Thought I just had one thing to say, but hmm nope. Thanks Hilly! I needed that.
[Reply]
June 26th, 2009 at 2:13 am
1. I really don’t like you. I tolerate you because we roll with the same crowd sometimes. And everytime you tell me that I’m taking something the wrong way when I’m telling it like it is, I want to slap you because you are full of shit and I’m not an idiot.
2. I miss you like crazy. I wish you would call. I understand that sometimes I drive people to space, but I still wish you would call.
3. I love your accent and every time you talk I just want to lick you.
4. Sometimes you are inconsiderate and I’m still afraid to get mad at you because I’m afraid you would get mad at me and not talk to me anymore.
5. When you told me that most people only tolerate me including my best friend who I am currently going through a rocky time with, I should have punched you because that was a nasty, mean spirited, designed to be hurtful thing to say and you don’t know me.
6. This new medicine I’m on is really making things better and I wish you would call me so that I could explain my diagnosis to you so that you would understand. but I’m also afraid that even if I did, it wouldn’t matter because it’s been 10 years of me pulling my bullshit.
7. I’m resentful that I had to leave to save our friendship and start over but you got to stay after all I did to help you get the job and everything. yes I know the issues were my fault, but still.
wow, that’s a lot
[Reply]
June 26th, 2009 at 9:06 am
(none of these are directed towards you Hilly!)
1. Your life is a trainwreck, so I read your blog to feel better about my own life.
2. You’re not as good at it as you think you are.
3. The reason that I do it is because you didn’t think that I could.
[Reply]
June 26th, 2009 at 9:35 am
1. Have you ever heard that it’s common courtesy when you are swimming and someone is REPEATEDLY on your feet to stop and let them go in front of you? And then when that person insists on going in front of you, it is NOT OK to go right after them, not waiting the requisite 5 secs, and sprint so that you are then on their feet. We are supposed to be adults here.
2. Before you go to grad school to be a school counselor, please take a look at your own son and see what a bully he has become. He has completely demeaned and insulted his “best friend” (my son) and should be taught to treat people better. Look, a lesson right in your own house…
3. I know you are going through a really difficult time, and our history together makes me want to help as much as I can. BUT, we haven’t been a daily part of each other’s lives for years and it’s hard for me to figure our how to help.
4. Thought of one more. Just because you are my husband’s father does not mean that we owe you anything. The only thing you’ve ever given us is crap. DO NOT ask us for more money, because we WILL NOT give it to you when you have no sense whatsoever. We are good with money and can help you out, but because you refuse to listen to us…don’t call, write or visit!
That felt good, thanks…
[Reply]
June 26th, 2009 at 10:19 pm
1. I will always wonder what would have happened if we hadn’t been to scared to date each other. Now, 15+ years later, our friendship is still too precious of a thing to consider crossing the line. But I still wonder and will probably always have a bit of a crush. Or maybe more…
2. I hate it that you are marrying her. I suppose it wouldn’t be so bad if you hadn’t chosen her over me or if you didn’t still look at me with lust in your eyes. I console myself by remembering that you were terrible in bed.
3. I hate that I can’t talk to my best friend about the things that are hurting me right now.
4. Why can’t you understand that it’s your story that doesn’t add up, not his?
5. Sometimes I want to walk away.
6. I had a feeling I would get voted off your island. We aren’t in high school anymore, friendships are precious and you may be throwing one away because I refuse to believe your gossip.
7. I’m not the person I want to be. Sometimes I’m mean and judgemental and selfish. But I think that is normal.
8. Yesterday when I saw you I thought you were one of the least attractive people I had ever seen. Then I smiled at you because you looked like you might need it. You looked a bit stunned and your face lit up as you smiled back, and I remembered once again that I’m an asshole for the first thought.
[Reply]
ginamonster Reply:
June 27th, 2009 at 5:01 pm
one more…
9. Your responsibility ended when you came to me the first time with your allegations. When I decided to keep dating him, you should have dropped it but you decided to keep digging. You should have known I would ask him about it. And yes, I don’t want to hurt her either. Which is why I can’t talk to her about it. So, you have tried to crack the foundation of a relationship I am trying to build AND taken away my support system. Remind me again why I am the bad guy? I really wish I didn’t have to see you tonight or pretend I like you right now.
[Reply]
June 27th, 2009 at 1:31 am
I wish you weren’t asleep right now so we could cuddle.
(I’m totally gonna go wake him up. Cuz I can.)
The things I have to say are not mine to say, they’re just things on my mind. But if I did say something I guess I’d say: It will get better if you let it. You just have to take five minutes of a break to let it.
Not directed at anyone in blogland.
[Reply]
June 27th, 2009 at 1:31 am
(Well, that cuddle one is, but not the second thing.)
[Reply]
June 27th, 2009 at 1:46 am
Hilly, first of all, thanks for your insightfulness and for always making me laugh. As one of your blog readers I want you to know I appreciate you.
Now for the things I wish I could really say…..
1. Stop telling every new person we meet that I am your friend who rents her house. It’s not like renting is something to be ashamed of. You make me feel like a loser.
2. I wish you would tell me the truth about that night 4 years ago when you came home at 6AM because guess what? I know, but I’m waiting to hear it from you.
3. I wish you would stop the backstabbing. I don’t think I can trust you anymore.
4.You are a mean-spirited, hurtful person. Do you ever see the good in anyone?
5. I took back the present you gave me for my birthday, Dad, and gave the money to Greenpeace just to piss you off!
[Reply]
June 27th, 2009 at 2:07 pm
Things I want to say but shouldn’t really:
- How is it that you if you are not awake by 4pm, you are a complete and total pain to spend anytime with?
- Who cares that your son is an atheist. He’s still your son.
- If I have to hear that same story you have told to the last 30 people that walked through the door ONE MORE TIME, I’m going to put fucking duct tape on your mouth.
Ok, that felt good. And I can still show my face to those I might have said the above statements too. I’ll just think to myself “I used a Hilly today”
[Reply]
June 27th, 2009 at 5:22 pm
YOU are NOT better than me! Yes, it’s great that you own your house but because I rent mine….that does not make me a second class citizen. Also, since having lost my job a year ago, i’m now working TWO jobs to make ends meet. Therefore I mow my grass when I have time….when it’s NOT raining, when I’m NOT working…and when YOUR damn sprinklers aren’t soaking MY property.
[Reply]
June 27th, 2009 at 6:21 pm
1. I really don’t want to be mean to you, but every time I’m around you, your breath is kickin’. I get sick just thinking about it.
2. You are a rude person that takes delight in making the lives of others just as miserable as yours is. Guess what? You cannot make my life miserable. Want to know another secret? You are the only person that can change YOUR life.
3. I love you and I wish that you would stop abusing drugs and alcohol before you lose everything.
4. For years, you put all of your “Men” before your kids. You let them abuse, belittle, and talk down to your kids. When you were approached about this, your reply was always the same: “I deserve to be happy too”. Now you wonder why none of your kids want to live in the same state that you do. Quit whining about not seeing them- after all that has happened, you’re lucky that they still talk to you.
5. Even when I’m pissed and won’t talk to you, I still love you.
[Reply]
June 28th, 2009 at 9:11 am
Hey everybody! You are still allowed to comment on this post (in fact, I encourage it) however any comment made at this point in time will NOT be entered into the prize drawing!
Thanks!
Hilly
[Reply]
June 29th, 2009 at 5:31 pm
[...] A $50.00 Visa Debit GiftCard (which is the secret prize from my sick day) goes [...]
July 15th, 2009 at 4:23 pm
[...] thanks to some inspiration from Miss Britt , who got it from Snackiepoo, here are 20 things I’d like to say to random unidentified people. Am I talking about you? [...]