September 16th, 2009

The Girl Who Fell Through The Ice…

Girls and boys, gather around because I have a something very important to tell you.  Grab a cocktail, cup of coffee or whatever else you fancy, sit on down and listen as I tell you the story of a girl….

A girl who fell through the ice…
A girl who drowned in a sea of cold because she couldn’t find her way out of the frozen lake…
A girl who had many friends with blow dryers pointed at the ice, trying to break her free…

She thought she’d never see the sunlight again and although her tears made her feel even more frozen and numb, she cried them in the morning when she woke up in that cold place and then again at night when she knew there was no one there to make her warm.  There was something comfortable about the ice and even though every part of her body was screaming at her to claw her way out, she stayed there because the cold had become so familiar.

Until one day, she heard herself chuckle…
Then she heard herself laugh with abandon, which she hadn’t done in quite some time…
Then she felt herself smile with such intensity that her heart began to burst with heat and light…

Suddenly the ice began to melt away and a warmth grew inside of her that made her want to fight even harder to stay away from the cold.  She started scratching her way out of the ice and the more she smiled, the easier it got.  Sure, her friends had tried and tried to make her warm but as the final layer of ice began to melt, she realized that it was something she’d had to do all by herself.  The blow dryers may have kept her from freezing but the true melting was caused from within.

Then one day, she felt warm and happy inside no matter what happened around her…
Then she caught herself dancing like a fool when no one else was around…
Then she felt her heart swell as if the superglue holding her heart together had finally dried…

For a girl who thought she’d never see sunlight again, she realized that her life was nothing but brightness and possibility.  She no longer feared conquering that life alone or falling through the ice again because she knew that no matter what happened, she could fight her way out of it.  She had finally figured out that even though her heart still belonged to the boy who she would always love, that one day she’d honestly be able to let him go and move on.  She knew that no matter what happened, she had a good life and was able to make all her dreams come true.  Yes my friends, this was the story of a girl…

A girl who danced in the sun…
A girl who truly felt her burdens lift from her heart…
A girl who can honestly tell you right here and right now that she is happy.

In case all of this metaphor and hyperbole eludes you, I’ll sum it up for you:  Last night I realized that I truly am happy inside.  While not perfect and while I have a lot of things that I want to improve in order to be more happy, I’m no longer miserable and I love my life.

Saltwater, Suntoucher and SeaSalt Kisses,
Me

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Posted in Divorce Girl, Emotional Technology, Hilly's Life 2009 | Comments (59)

59 Responses to “The Girl Who Fell Through The Ice…”

  1. Tudor Rose Says:
    September 16th, 2009 at 9:14 am

    Aw! This makes me so very happy for you! :rock:

    [Reply]

    Hilly Reply:
    September 16th, 2009 at 2:28 pm

    Thank you!

    [Reply]

  2. Robin Says:
    September 16th, 2009 at 9:34 am

    This is how I am starting to feel again, too.

    The swagga’ is spreading!!

    [Reply]

    Hilly Reply:
    September 16th, 2009 at 2:29 pm

    The swagga is all ovah! I was dancing in my office last night…in my panties!

    :rock:

    [Reply]

  3. Sizzle Says:
    September 16th, 2009 at 9:53 am

    Hell yeah!

    [Reply]

    Hilly Reply:
    September 16th, 2009 at 2:29 pm

    Word.

    [Reply]

  4. Rachel Says:
    September 16th, 2009 at 10:17 am

    So happy for you Hilly! You deserve to be happy and laugh and smile.

    [Reply]

    Hilly Reply:
    September 16th, 2009 at 2:29 pm

    Thank you, Rachel! It feels way better than crying, that’s for damned sure!

    [Reply]

  5. Karen Sugarpants Says:
    September 16th, 2009 at 10:18 am

    I love this post. So much.

    [Reply]

    Hilly Reply:
    September 16th, 2009 at 2:30 pm

    I love you.
    More.

    [Reply]

  6. TUWABVB Says:
    September 16th, 2009 at 10:22 am

    I’m glad to hear that you love your life – and what a beautiful way to express it! I just love this post.

    [Reply]

    Hilly Reply:
    September 16th, 2009 at 2:30 pm

    Thanks, hon. I could have just simply said, “I feel happy” but that is soooo not me.

    [Reply]

  7. Amanda of Shamelessly Sassy Says:
    September 16th, 2009 at 11:14 am

    You deserve happiness.

    Also, I can’t resist using this emoticon: :halloween:

    [Reply]

    Hilly Reply:
    September 16th, 2009 at 2:30 pm

    That’s okay because I seriously am in love with this one (cause she is me):

    :witchypoo:

    [Reply]

  8. Finn Says:
    September 16th, 2009 at 11:18 am

    Happy day! :clap:

    [Reply]

    Hilly Reply:
    September 16th, 2009 at 2:31 pm

    Amen, amen! I think maybe you told me about this day!

    ;)

    [Reply]

  9. Karen Says:
    September 16th, 2009 at 11:26 am

    Yeah! I am so happy for you!!

    [Reply]

    Hilly Reply:
    September 16th, 2009 at 2:31 pm

    Thank you Karen!

    [Reply]

  10. Elizabeth Kaylene Says:
    September 16th, 2009 at 1:00 pm

    Yay, I’m happy to hear that you’re happy! :D

    [Reply]

    Hilly Reply:
    September 16th, 2009 at 2:31 pm

    And I am happy that you’re happy that I’m happy.

    :)

    [Reply]

    Elizabeth Kaylene Reply:
    September 20th, 2009 at 1:06 pm

    I’m happy that you’re happy that I’m happy that you’re happy. ;D

    [Reply]

  11. Sybil Law Says:
    September 16th, 2009 at 1:37 pm

    :clap: :clap:
    That is just a kickass story.
    So happy because you’re happy!!! :pph: :rock:

    [Reply]

    Hilly Reply:
    September 16th, 2009 at 2:32 pm

    I need a new and creative way to say “thank you” but uh, nope…just thanks.

    :jinkies: :jinkies:

    [Reply]

  12. Janet Says:
    September 16th, 2009 at 2:20 pm

    What’s his name?

    [Reply]

    Hilly Reply:
    September 16th, 2009 at 2:33 pm

    Ha, there’s no guy.

    In the words of the lovely Shamelessly Sassy…”happiness is easily achieved without dick”.

    :D

    [Reply]

    Janet Reply:
    September 16th, 2009 at 2:37 pm

    Love it!

    Good for YOU!

    [Reply]

    Robin Reply:
    September 16th, 2009 at 5:16 pm

    HOLLA!

    [Reply]

  13. Deb Says:
    September 16th, 2009 at 3:06 pm

    bloody hell, how simply marvellous !

    [Reply]

    Hilly Reply:
    September 16th, 2009 at 4:13 pm

    Thank you! Bloody hell indeed.

    [Reply]

  14. foo diddy Says:
    September 16th, 2009 at 3:31 pm

    Panty dancin’ for teh w!n…love that you have melted Frosty the Woow-man with the self love heat.

    [Reply]

    Hilly Reply:
    September 16th, 2009 at 4:12 pm

    On any other blog, that would SO be porn!

    Mew chicka mew mew!

    [Reply]

  15. Sarah Says:
    September 16th, 2009 at 6:17 pm

    I am very elated for you Hilly. Oh yes. :hug:

    [Reply]

    Hilly Reply:
    September 16th, 2009 at 9:02 pm

    Thanks, Ms. Bringer of Joy herself!

    [Reply]

    Sarah Reply:
    September 16th, 2009 at 9:57 pm

    well, joy *is* my middle name after all. Heh.

    [Reply]

  16. floatingprincess Says:
    September 16th, 2009 at 6:23 pm

    Yayness! I’m glad the sun is shining for you! :jack:

    [Reply]

    Hilly Reply:
    September 16th, 2009 at 9:02 pm

    Merci, mon amie! I like the sun better than the cold anyway!

    [Reply]

  17. Aunt Becky Says:
    September 16th, 2009 at 7:17 pm

    Beautiful. Just beautiful. Smiling like a the Simple Person that I am.

    [Reply]

    Hilly Reply:
    September 16th, 2009 at 9:02 pm

    I like it when you smile all simple like…it helps me know I’m not alone in my gooftardedness.

    :D

    [Reply]

  18. Stephanie Says:
    September 16th, 2009 at 9:29 pm

    Wish I could get to where you are….and it’s been more than 2yrs for me. Pretty much over the ex, but the being happy hasn’t completely come yet. Bit of happiness here and there, but not overall. Ugh!

    Congrats to you. (really that’s not supposed to be snide or anything although reading it, it sounds like it might be.) You really are amazing!

    Love you!

    [Reply]

    Hilly Reply:
    September 17th, 2009 at 9:05 am

    I totally didn’t take it that you were being snide at all.

    I don’t know if my happiness is permanent or anything but I take it where I can get it and am trying to take strides to make sure it does last as long as possible.

    [Reply]

  19. Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] Says:
    September 16th, 2009 at 11:01 pm

    I have a diffuser if you need one.

    Or is this not about drying your hair?

    In that case, YEAH FOR HAPPY! Happy is good.

    [Reply]

    Hilly Reply:
    September 17th, 2009 at 9:04 am

    Hahaha, I love that you made a joke about my biggest pet peeve. You are the awesome.

    [Reply]

  20. Karen Says:
    September 17th, 2009 at 12:05 am

    I love the metaphor, Hilly. I’m so happy to hear that joy and happiness are back in your life. I know you’ve been through a tough time and it’s great to see you emerging on the “other side”. I’m so happy for you Hilly… here’s to the bright side of life!!!

    [Reply]

    Hilly Reply:
    September 17th, 2009 at 9:04 am

    Thank you so much, sweetie. It really makes me happy to read those words. :)

    [Reply]

  21. Avitable Says:
    September 17th, 2009 at 8:24 am

    Wait, so your heart caught on fire? Oh noes! :razz:

    [Reply]

    Hilly Reply:
    September 17th, 2009 at 9:03 am

    Yes, it would have been very tragic kingdom except yanno, I have super powers.

    [Reply]

  22. Miss Britt Says:
    September 17th, 2009 at 9:01 am

    :mickey:

    [Reply]

    Hilly Reply:
    September 17th, 2009 at 9:02 am

    *snort*

    I hear that Minnie is looking for him. ;)

    [Reply]

  23. Threresa Says:
    September 17th, 2009 at 12:25 pm

    Wow… I could have written this myself (except that I can’t write as eloquntly as you)…. but this very much describes how I have been feeling lately! It is so great to feel good and alive and happy again!

    [Reply]

    Hilly Reply:
    September 18th, 2009 at 11:35 am

    I am so happy to hear that! I love that you are finding happiness!

    [Reply]

  24. Kim Says:
    September 17th, 2009 at 7:49 pm

    Yay Hilly !!!! I am so happy for you !!

    I will clap and yay for you whilst I wait for my day !! :)

    [Reply]

    Hilly Reply:
    September 18th, 2009 at 11:35 am

    Your day will come. You never had the choice, which makes it so much harder. I hope though, that one day, your heart heals. :)

    [Reply]

  25. hello haha narf Says:
    September 18th, 2009 at 10:07 am

    :clap:
    i am thrilled that you are dancing in the sun! oh hilly, this post makes me wanna dance with yoy!!!

    [Reply]

    Hilly Reply:
    September 18th, 2009 at 11:34 am

    Yay, and thank you.

    [Reply]

  26. hello haha narf Says:
    September 18th, 2009 at 10:07 am

    or, ya know, “you” (not yoy!)

    [Reply]

    Hilly Reply:
    September 18th, 2009 at 11:34 am

    I’ve actually danced with Yoy before…he was quite good. ;)

    [Reply]

  27. Snackiepoo » Blog Archive » Murphy And His Stupid Law… Says:
    September 19th, 2009 at 9:49 pm

    [...] soon as you announce to the World that you are happy, something will really fucking break your [...]

  28. Sheila (Charm School Reject) Says:
    September 19th, 2009 at 10:35 pm

    Well shit.

    I’m playing catch up backwards.

    ::hugs::

    [Reply]

  29. Coal Miner's Granddaughter Says:
    September 22nd, 2009 at 9:45 pm

    And loving one’s life is what it’s all about, darlin’!

    [Reply]

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