Archive for the ‘Friendship’ Category

8 Simple Rules For Being My Friend…

August 4th, 2008

This is not a meme…it’s just plain me.  I’ve been playing around with “duh-tard” rules on Twitter…yanno, common sense things like “Don’t wear a red shirt to Target unless you *want* people to ask you where the bathroom is”.  In doing so (and being extremely silly and lame), I discovered a post idea.  Take it with a grain of sea-salt, would ya?

Honesty: I’m the type of person that can handle pretty much any secret that you’ve got, even ones that you’re scared will make me run away. Hell, I’m the type of *friend* that will help you hide the bodies if need be. Sure, I may suggest you go to therapy directly thereafter, but I’ll stand by you while you cover up your crazy messes. However…the second you fucking lie to me? I’m pretty much done. I don’t care about the things you don’t want to tell me because they are your own personal secrets. I totally *understand* needing to keep things locked inside and would never get pissy at someone for not wanting to divulge all of who they are to little old me. The thing that will drive me away faster than garlicky smoker’s breath is a flat-out lie. Once you completely lie to me, especially about something petty and stupid, you can bet that we’re pretty much done. I do take things on a case by case basis, of course, but sheesh…you all know what I mean!

Sense of Humor: This one is pretty self-explanatory, isn’t it?  Let me be more specific though.  I don’t require ALL of my friends to always be “on” and act like total hams.  What I mean by “sense of humor” is that you have the capability to laugh, capacity to find things funny, and the non-douchebaginess to not look at me like I’m an ass whenever I am silly.

Trustworthiness: I know that I’ve mentioned here several times that people tend to tell me all of their secrets. If you only knew half of the shit I’m keeping inside right now, your heads would explode. No really, they totally would! Being a person that is both blessed and cursed with being trustworthy, I know exactly how easy it actually is not to spread people’s gossip all over the damned universe. Some days are harder than others, especially when I get random juicy tidbits of fluff gossip, but I look at it this way: I keep the fluff gossip to myself as well because keeping those secrets might lead to more trust from my friends in the future. Earning trust is like gathering Coke Rewards and a lot of people just don’t get that. Anydiddle…the moment you tell someone one of my secrets, it’s on. Furthermore, the moment you take one of my best friends’ precious secrets and spread that in the same way you probably spread your legs? Yeah, my trust for you is gone then too. Some people say you can still have a friendship without trust. Unfortunately, I am not one of those people.

Intelligence: Again, I am not looking for Einstein here, nor do I care what your IQ is.  All I want is to hang out with people who can talk about things without saying “ain’t got no Wal Mart” every five seconds.  There’s a huge difference between book smarts and social smarts as well.  I generally hang out with people that have a mixture of both.

Hygiene: I’ll admit it…I am grossed out by bad hygiene or even “somewhat poor” hygiene.  It’s all very simple, sheesh.  Shower every day…no, not every other day.  Every fucking day.  Unless you’re laid up with an injury or of a an ethnic background where it’s not uncommon to skip a day, seriously dude…wash yourself.  I don’t care if you did nothing but “sit around the house all day yesterday”.   Holy fuck - your body still secreets sweat, juices, fluids and you still go to the bathroom!  Also, brush your teeth at least twice a day, for fucks sake.  Wash your hands after using the restroom.  Wash your hands before and after cooking.  Blah blah blah…I really shouldn’t even have to say these things and yet, erm…yeah.

Manners:  “Please” and “thank you” are not optional…ever.  Saying “bless you” or whatever variation of that you choose after someone sneezes *is* optional but it I find it rude when people don’t.  Everything else is gravy and I cannot dictate how anyone lives his or her life.  Manners are important to me because *I* use them every day and in every way.  For example, I still believe that the elderly have the right of way therefore I hold doors open for them and let them get in and out of elevators first.  Sure, half of them are crotchety fucking farts who need a lesson in manners themselves but my behavior should not be based on someone else’s standard of conduct but rather my own.  Oh and men…if you want to make me swoon???  Hold the door open for me.  I never expect it but when it happens, it sure is nice.

Common Sense: If you eat the last of my peanut butter, just tell me so I can get some more.  Yes, that is my only example.  Whatever.  Common sense dictates that this post is getting too long.  I know you’re picking up what I’m putting down though, right?

Good Taste in Music: Okay okay, this is not really a requirement.  Just so you know though, we can be *friends* if you listen to craptastic Country music and all that…just don’t ever expect me to ride in your car.  Or come to your house.  Or vacation with you by a pool.  Yanno, anything where music is required.

I Finally Got An iPhone Kisses!
Me

Posted in Friendship, Hilly On A Tangent, Snackie Snark | Comments (37)

I’m A Sweet Piece Of Work…

July 28th, 2008

I vowed that I would never come to my blog and apologize for something blog related. Yet here I am, giving you the pouty lips and puppy dog eyes in the sincere hope that you will all forgive me for not really commenting on blogs as much as I usually do. I know that real life should ALWAYS take precedence over the Wide Wide World of Web but at the same time, I start to feel guilty when I neglect my friends and such. In any case, my two weeks of craziness has finally calmed down AND I am caught up on everything else I need to do so as of right now, my blog life will be back to normal (whatever *that* means!).

Moving right along…

I’ve been looking at a lot of pictures of myself today, and yanno…I totally am going to share some of my faves from DaveDiego while I tell you some things that I have decreed for myself today…ready?

Hilly and Dave by Karl

I’m tired of worrying about who thinks I look fat in a picture and/or who has something negative to say about that (oh and believe you me, certain assholes do).

I’m also not going to apologize that my boobs are constantly showing no matter what people think about that either. Here’s a clue (and no, I won’t buy it for you)…maybe I have insecurities about my body except when it comes to my boobs. So yeah, I wear boobie tops and let people stick money in my cleavage but I am not some slutty, needy, pathetic person who just wants attention (and yes, that’s been uttered behind “closed doors” as well).

Moreover, I won’t apologize for being myself…ever. A real friend will often confront you about things that you need to work on changing yet they will never ever ask you to stop being yourself. Sometimes I am silly, sometimes I am serious and yanno…sometimes I spend an evening sandwiched between two dudes (who happen to be friends). I like sandwiches anyway.

Last but not least, I won’t apologize for the days, moments or whatever when I totally think I’m cute…like in this picture here. Seriously, I only posted this picture because I think we’re both totally cute it in. What? You have a problem with that? I didn’t think so.

While a lot of this is tongue-in-cheek, as well as a pathetic excuse to post some pictures that I really like, there is complete and utter truth to my words. I’ve just suddenly realized once again that people are going to say what they want to about the things we all do. Whispers will happen, rumors will fly, gossip and negative energy will spew forth but at the end of it all…none of that matters. What matters is what you see and know in your own heart as well as the people who love you…just the way you are. I’m lucky as shit to have many that accept me the way I am and I really hope you do too. :)

Stuck In The Middle With You Kisses,
Me

PS - I stole all these images from Karl and Winter!

Posted in Friendship, Hilly On A Tangent, Hilly's Life 2008 | Comments (53)

It’s Just Not The Same!

July 7th, 2008

Jester and I stayed up til the wee hours of the morning in order to bring you all a weekend wrap-up of our fun, frivolity and erm…trips to various emergency rooms.  Since Jester did all of the typing (you’ll find out why soon enough), we’ve decided to post it over at his site…so please, clicky clicky to head on over and read what exactly I’ve been up to for the last 4 days!

The Jesterpoo July Edition recap post lies here.
The Jesterpoo July Edition photos lie here and here.

Getting My Car Out Of Hock Kisses,
Me

Posted in Friendship, Hilly's Life 2008 | Comments (9)

Pre-Posted With Birthday Love!

July 5th, 2008

It’s a rarity that I meet a chick who has me saying “Damn, she’s one bad ass beyotch” within the first five minutes.  However, with Hellohahanarf, those words just flowed like liquid diamonds, baby.  The girl is smooth, fun, articulate, lively, sexy as hell and a completely trustworthy friend.  She’s one rockasaurus rex who deserves the love from us all.  Plus she has such pretty boobage!  So pleaaaase, join me in wishing her a very Happy Birthday!

HelloHaHaBoobies

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, NARFY!

Sweet Sweet Rack Kisses,
Me

Posted in Birthdays, Friendship | Comments (7)

In Loving Memory Of The Puppy Monster….

June 21st, 2008

In Memory Of The Puppy Monster
Dawg, my love and prayers always…

Posted in Friendship, Love | Comments (6)

The Heart Can Freeze Or It Can Burn….

June 12th, 2008

Do you ever feel like you have an assigned role within your group of friends?  Sure, we all have many different facets and are gloriously complicated people, but human nature dictates what within most groups of friends there will be the joker, the gossip, the parental one, the wild child, the go-to guy, the helper, blah blah blah.  Yesterday when I was talking to Foo Diddy on the phone, I came to the conclusion that she’s the one people always run to with their emotional crises.  No matter how much more she is than that, it seems to be that when one of her friends is having a relationship crisis, they dial or run to the Foo. 

After I hung up with her, the thought train started leaving the station and the notion of figuring out *my* role became one that I found to be amusing and interesting.  I pretty much already had a good idea what I would discover but in order to be fair, I quickly did a mental scan of all of my groups of friends and came up with one constant and imagine that, it was what I suspected.

I am “The Trapper Keeper”.  What the hell does *that* mean?  Well, I’ll tell you!  It means that I am the one that people run (or walk) to when they need to release their secrets.  The thing is that I have repuation for actually being able to keep secrets and not blab them to every other person I know.  Therefore, people tell me things (secrets) and I lock them in the vault for safe keeping.  It’s like a Trapper Keeper in that each secret is like a special little piece of paper that I file away in one of the pouches so that I always have it, but no one else can ever see it.  Of course, that also means that sometimes the fucking thing gets full….so full that I just want to dump it all in the garbage and never see it again.

When the secrets that I learn are ones that involve hurt and anger, it’s always harder to find a place for those.  On one hand, I love the fact that people trust me enough to come to me with things and feel so honored that they actually trust me and/or want me to help them.  Sometimes though, when everyone is playing confessional all in the same day or week, it drags me down.  No, it’s not because I just have to spill the dish or anything lame like that….it’s because knowing someone’s secrets makes me emotionally connected to that person.  It also makes me involved in their lives so much so that when something goes completely wonky and haywire, I do care.  I do have an opinion.  And you know what?  I’m allowed.

Last night I snapped.  It was one of those rare moments when I was dumping my Trapper Keeper into the garbage bin behind the 7-11.  To be clear, “snapping” never has anything to do with revealing what you’ve trusted me with.  It’s more like me losing my mind, talking about my lost mind a whole lot, then totally throwing my hands in the air.  When I blogged my now redacted post called “Citizen of the Planet”, I did it purely for altruistic reasons, yet after stepping back and realizing that it was becoming something I did not want it to be (i.e. potentially hurtful to someone), I had to take it down.  I still believe that we all get to feel how we feel in life….no one can tell us otherwise.  But, being the great vault of Hilly that I am, I also realize that sometimes it’s important to keep those feelings to ourselves or yanno, run to the person that we trust with our secret feelings.

Oh waiiiiit….. 

I don’t want anyone to think that I don’t want you sharing with me, because I do.  Again, I am always honored to be trusted and love knowing things.  While my main thrill is that I can maybe help you solve a problem, I cannot lie….there’s a little voyeur in me too who just likes knowing things.  My ass is nosey by nature.  No, not all of me…just my ass ;).  It’s just that….if I don’t reply to group emails today about a subject that I need to see die, don’t fault me or don’t hate me.  I think walking away from it all is a more healthy way of cleaning out my Trapper Keeper today…and healthy is really what I am looking for in life right now. 

Do you find yourself falling into a role or are you less insane than I am?  I really hope I am not the only freaking crazy person here or I’ll just die!  Okay, not really but yanno….

Clarity Kisses,
Me

Posted in Friendship, Redefining Hilly | Comments (27)

All I Am Saying Is……

April 5th, 2008

Give peace a chance!

PLEASE PASS IT ON AND JOIN THE SnackiePeace Movement [© Dave2]

Missing You Kisses,
Me

Posted in Friendship | Comments (36)

I Am A Poster Girl With No Poster…..

January 28th, 2008

Whenever I get a bit snarky and fed up with meanness,  I’m fond of telling the culprit that there’s a huge difference between being witty and being a totally heinous bitch.  Because we all know that to be true, right?

It’s a really hard balance to achieve and sometimes I feel as if I’m letting it slip away from me.  What if my tendency to always be sarcastic and funny is seen by someone else as me just being a pathetically bitch-assed whore?  I mean, I don’t think that’s me but what if it is and I just don’t know it, yanno?  And then there’s that saying…."sarcasm is the lowest form of humor".  Really?  *I* think there’s quite a bit of cleverness mixed in with my sarcasm, creating what I like to call "snarkasm".  But I can see how someone who doesn’t understand me might not love me so much.

I’ve thought about this a lot, can you tell?

For me, the difference between being witty and being a bitch is easy…it’s in the intent.  Were I ever to purposely set out to be cruel and hurt someone’s feelings, that would make me a snatchy-la-la for sure.  However, if I’m just joking around with my BFFs and other fine folk who like me, are very tongue-in-cheek, and someone gets offended?  Please just tell me rather than talk about me behind my back.  Chances are that I don’t even know youve taken what I’ve said personally because honestly…I hang out with people whose senses of humor move a million miles a minute, which is even faster than mine.

I never laugh at anyone else’s expense unless it is good natured ribbing or they deserve it (that’s a joke, see?).   I don’t set out to hurt anyone and if I do, I like to immediately apologize.  And most of my sarcastic remarks are highly self-deprecating.  Okay then, check check check.

This post is serving as a moral inventory of sorts because someone called me heartless earlier.  Me?  Heartless?  Tell me if I’m wrong but I don’t think that’s me at all.  It kind of makes you sit down and question yourself for a moment when someone says something like this to you.

Then again, one has to consider the source.

My Heart Is A Marshmallow Kiss,
Me

Posted in Emotional Diatribes, Friendship, Hilly's Life 2008 | Comments (26)

I Feel Like I Can Fly When I Stand Next To You….

January 17th, 2008

There are some people in this world that make me feel lighter than air when I am around them….like I could soar away on laughter or keep afloat merely by the light that emanates from them.  It sounds cheesy and all that but I’m not quite sure how else to describe it without sounding like a Bronte sister.  I do know that it’s a true rarity that I find such people in my life so I like to recognize it and cherish it when I do.  Yet, while it’s a great thing to allow yourself to be drawn to such people and hopefully light up their lives in some small way, it causes the symptom of over-protectiveness to kick in whether they want it or not.

Let me tell you, the few BFFs that I have can all take care of themselves and I’m under no sort of deluded notion that they need me in their corner as The Great Defender.  So why is it that every time someone even mildly has something negative to say about my friends it becomes The Peacekeeper Wars up in this bitch?  I’m always trying to defend my friends and explain "what they meant by that" or "why they would do such a thing".  The sad truth of the matter is that I don’t really know why my friends do what they do unless they tell me.  I guess that there is just that part of me that knows certain people would not have harmful intentions so when they get slammed for just being who they are, I get a little bit like a lioness…rawr!

I’ve come to realize that one woman’s trash is another one’s treasure.  Oh my god, did I just call my friends "trash"?  I may need to rethink my clichés here for a moment….but you know what I mean, yeah?  Just because someone makes my heart smile does not mean that others can see the same things I see in them.  And that, my dears, is what makes this world such an interesting and diverse place.  So I think I’ll start working on my first change of the new year (besides losing weight, thank you, cause I’ve already lost 7 pounds).  I’m going to stop trying to make people see things my way and/or defending the universe.  I’m going to let the universe defend itself and I’ll just sit back and hold its hand when its done.  Or maybe I’ll bake it cookies…..

Learning To Let Go Kisses,
Me

PS….speaking of great people, both Miss Britt and Kentucky Girl have birthdays today.  Happy Birthday ladies!

Posted in Friendship | Comments (20)

Happy New Year To All And To All A Safe Night!

December 31st, 2007

If I could literally kiss each and every one of you, I would.  Mind you, I don’t mean that in a whorey way….just a kiss on the cheek for most of you.  A couple of you might just want to ignore the fact that I’m licking you all over, thanks.

Seriously though, this has been one shit eating bitch of a year for me but I made it through!  It just goes to show that not all euphemisms truly do suck…yanno cause that which did not kill me really did make me stronger.  I’m ready to kick some ass right now…not just after the clock turns midnight.  I’ve honestly been improving myself over the last week or so by taking life by the balls rather than letting it kick me repeatedly in my "no-no place". I will be alone as I ring in the new year but only in body.  In spirit, I will have everyone that loves me and has touched my heart fully over the course of the last year.  I mean, I had some major people supporting me in every way possible, especially over the last six months.  For that, I cannot tell you how much I love you.  I’ve been lucky to make many new blog friends as well as real life friends that come from the heights of the PRB itself!  It’s been all about friendship and my leaning on you all for support this last year and I am grateful for every moment.

Happy New Year, Beyotches!

When I come back in the new year, we’ll talk about how I am "Bringing Hilly Back" in a major way and we’ll get to see the rest of my "What’s New?" series.  But until then, I leave you with a wish for a very safe and happy evening!  The best to you all!!!

Buh Bye Bitch of 2007 Kisses,
Me

 

Posted in Friendship | Comments (26)

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