Archive for the ‘Hilly's Life 2008’ Category

That I Would Be Good Even If I Gained Ten Pounds…

August 25th, 2008

I smiled when I heard the announcement over the Southwest Airlines PA System…“Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. Our flight into Sacramento is on time so as soon as the plane empties out, we’ll begin boarding. Just so you know, there are only about 54 people booked on this flight so it looks as if it will be a comfortable ride!”. That gate agent, who was probably more than thrilled to deliver good news then take our tickets, had no idea just how much he had completely made my day. You see, as I’ve mentioned before, I’m not comfortable with my body.

Blah blah blah, lather, rinse, repeat, get over it, repeat, get over it again.

In any case, when you fly as an overweight person there is an added struggle to air travel. One very prevalent issue is that a lot of the time, your average size person does not want to sit next to an overweight person. Hell, I don’t even spill into a second seat like some people do and yet, I am extremely careful not to even touch the person in the seat next to me. I do this by tensing up and squish myself as close to the window as I can go. Sure, I feel all achy in my joints when I finally get up but hey, I’ve saved myself embarrassment, right?. Pshht. The second issue that some people suffer through is the embarrassment of having to get a seat belt extender.  My fat ass worries about that too, quite honestly.

Before anyone rolls his or her eyes, I am not self-deprecating here.  I’m only tackling a subject that not many people are comfortable enough to talk about. So there!

To be completely honest, I’m at that point where I can either squeeze the hell out of my fat ass and fit the seatbelt around me, crushing my little squishy spots OR I can get over it and ask for the damned extender, just to be more comfortable.  Now usually, I just don’t ask and squeeze in nice and tight until I arrive at my destination with red welts across my belly and the deluded notion that I definitely am not that fat.  Oh yes, sometimes that comes with a side of heartburn so bad that I’m dropping Tums into 7up as if it were a awesome new cocktail that I’d just fucking invented.  Quite honestly, it’s pathetic.

While the simple answer to all of this is “lose weight”, it’s not the only answer.  Until the time when I get over myself and decide to not let my emotional crutch be food, I have to start living with the body that I *do* have.  I’m not quite sure exactly where this attitude came from so suddenly on Friday afternoon, but as I found myself entering the plane and asking the steward for a seatbelt extension, I honestly did not give a fuck about who snickered because I needed one.  I didn’t *need* one and yet at the same time, I guess I did.  Anyway, when I asked for the damned thing, I did not whisper.  I did not lower my face, covering it with my hair.  I did not do it with an embarrassed smile.  I just asked for it in my normal voice then said “thank you” with the same kind of smile I’d have given my local barista after he hooked me up with my liquid crack.

I finally owned who I am, not who I am striving to be one day.

Don’t get me wrong, I still have lofty goals and realistic expectations when it comes to getting back in shape.  I know myself well enough to know that food is my addiction just like others use booze or drugs.  When life calms down and my soul is a bit happier (which it is starting to be now, btw) then the food won’t matter as much and the weight will melt away.  Eventually, I’ll figure out how to NOT turn to food the next time I am miserable.  These are all things I know and all things I’m finally starting to really fucking look at with honest eyes.  However, in the meantime, I need to not be ashamed of who I am.

I am overweight.
I am beautiful.
I am smart.
I am funny.
I’m good in bed.
And I am a million other things that have nothing to do with my weight, thanks.

And yet, I let it own me more than I should. I only have glimpses of moments where I feel and act sexy or whatever else.  The tapes constantly play in my head though…asking and wondering who is talking about me or laughing at me.  Uhhh, gee…egotistical much?  I guess I’m just done worrying about it.  Those who love me, love me…and all of me.

I almost think that self-improving by loving myself no matter what is the first step to actually taking off the weight successfully this time.  How can I do something good for my body when I hate it so much?  That’s completely counterproductive and I’m done.  You hear me?  Done.

Love To Love Me, Baby Kisses,
Me

Posted in Health and Wellness, Hilly's Life 2008, Redefining Hilly | Comments (41)

So You Go And You Stand On Your Own…

August 15th, 2008

I didn’t really check my email yesterday…at all.  Therefore, this morning when I really poured through it, I saw quite a few messages from people letting me know that they are here for me if I want to talk.  Although I didn’t delete any of those emails, answering them back was not a top priority either.

I guess I should explain…

I’m a total isolator, if you know what I mean.  When things get to be too much, I am quite content to cut myself off from other people and just veg on my own.  Those that think that it’s sad and worry that it aids me to live too much inside of my head, you may be right.  However, that’s really only half of it.  The stage where I am now is the one where I throw myself into an old TV series on DVD and escape there, freeing my mind of the many thoughts that swirl in and out, over and over.  I have no idea if this is healthy or not but it helps me greatly to do so.  As long as I am aware of what I am doing and also have the strength to cut myself off from the “escape fest”, then who the fuck am I hurting by eating sunflower seeds and watching season six of Charmed all day long?  Certainly not you.  And really, certainly not myself.

Slowly but surely, I am starting to resurface.  I may spend this afternoon curled up with a book or lost in yet another TV series (like Damages).  I actually have quite a few errands to run and while I am out, maybe I will go sit on the beach for awhile and “think about what I’ve done”.  Heh.  Maybe later on, if I’m feeling extra daring, I’ll turn back on my Twitter text delivery.  Yep, I turned it off last night because I just need to not look at some of those things today.  So far you’re impressed, right?  I mean, what a rebellious nature!  Seriously though, the creme de la creme is the fact that my friend Scott invited me to an all day beach party/barbecue for his 40th Birthday tomorrow which means that I HAVE to take off my “me time” cap and put on my dancing shoes.  By then, the extreme social interaction will actually be a necessity so all in all, I say this works out perfectly!

In any case, if I’ve not answered you back through whatever medium, I am not some snotty bitch who is ignoring you and/or has deleted your email.  Chances are that right now it’s just too hard for me to talk about it…again.  Believe it or not, even *I* am sick of my own shit.  If I talk about my stomach ache one more time, by the way, someone has permission to slap me!  If I bitch about how I got my period yesterday, in the middle of my stomach virus AND already being a bit sad, someone else has permission to shove giant cupcakes down my throat!  If I look at you with tears welled up in my eyes, telling you just how much you mean to me and that I am thankful for all of you, someone has permission to hug me and mayyyybe even kiss me.  Maybe.

:cake: Happy Birthday To Shawn Kisses,
Me

Posted in Emotional Technology, Hilly's Life 2008, Snackie Snark | Comments (46)

Behind The Mask I Wear…

August 11th, 2008

Yes, it’s a video post.  It’s unedited.  I’m unedited.  Hell, I have wet hair and I am not even wearing makeup.  This video blog is about as raw as you will ever see me in many different aspects.  I thought it was time to just be myself and let it all hang out.


Snackie In The Raw from Hilly Carnes on Vimeo.




Not Afraid To Show You “No Makeup” Face At All Kisses,
Me


Also, because sometimes Vimeo is an asstool that lags, the video can also be seen here on YouTube.


Posted in Emotional Technology, Hilly's Life 2008, Video Posts | Comments (44)

Find Me Now, Find Me Here…

August 6th, 2008

My post today is all about the catch-up and pointing you in other directions.  What can I say?   I’m a giver and a spreader.  Erm, wait…”spreader” may be the wrong word here.  I mean, I do like to spread the love and all that but when one uses the term “spreader”, one may be calling herself a whore.  I’ll have to check the urban dictionary later on to find out for sure.  Anydiddle, moving on….

1.) My sister went and got herself a blog!  Can you dig?  Can you believe?  Don’t you just want to die?  Not that excited, huh?  Okay well seriously,  if you would be so kind, can  you please go say hello to my sister Courtney and welcome her to the Wide Wide World of Blogging?  When I first read it yesterday, I was amazed at how much we sound alike (our written voices, anyway).  Anyway, I pimped her out on Twitter and so many people were awesome enough to welcome her to the PRB so thank you, thank you, thank you!  Now then, I need to help her design that fucker….

2.) Karl and I made another video blog post.  You can find it over at his place.  Which begs the question…why is it that whenever *we* make a video post together, his is the site that gets to display it?  What about *my* needs and wants?  Sheesh!  Oh oh oh, speaking of Karl…he’s gone!  He left this morning and will be Florida’s problem soon enough.  I’d mention how thrilled I am to have my house back and that I am halfway naked while typing this right now but then again, that might be stating the obvious.  It was really great having him here and we had lots of fun but uh…momma needs her “alone time”.

3.) You know that caption contest that I seem to have dragged out for three weeks?  WE HAVE A WINNER!  Congratulations to Shiny for winning with the caption that reads, “For the love of God, Hilly, BE CAREFUL! You’ll suck all the gay out of him!”.   The runner up winners are a tie between Vahid’s “If it wasn’t for the whole ‘vagina’ thing she’d be perfect for me. Alas, our love can never be.” and Jester’s own submittal,  “Does this Hilly on my face make me look gay?”.  Congratulations boys…we’ll discuss your special prizes behind closed door…ahem.

4.) Last but certainly not least, please don’t forget to congratulate our latest Blogger of the Month, Brandon.  He’s a great guy and deserves to feel the love.  Erm, wait…there I go again.  I’m a Michael Scott waiting to happen this morning.  Sheesh.

Sorry to make you all work so hard by clicking links.  I know it can be a total pain in the rump.  Uh, did I just actually use the word “rump”?  Egads.  Methinks I need more coffee STAT!  Taking someone to the airport at 6am leaves the funk of forty-thousand years rattling around in my noodle!

Les Mis On The Brain Kisses,
Me

Posted in Around The Blogosphere, Hilly's Life 2008 | Comments (14)

All She Wants Is….

August 1st, 2008

I stole this from my friend SJ, who unfortunately has decided to give up blogging.  Interestingly enough, this post was a lot harder to do than I thought it would be.  The reason for that, however, is probably because no matter how much I wear my heart on my sleeve, there are little secrets that I refuse to divulge here.  So anyway, blah blah, here we go….

I want to:
know what love is. again.
write my post about sex sooner than later.
find a hobby that doesn’t involve me sitting on my ass.
dance like nobody’s watching, even though that saying is so fucking cheesy.
stop thinking mean things about people inside of my head.

I want to think:
that you really do love me, just the way I am.
that I make a difference in someone’s life, no matter how small.
that I’m as clever and witty as I believe myself to be!
about the world we live in and life in general.
about poetry, art, books, and love songs…then share them with someone who lights up from the same things.

I want to learn:
to swear in every language there is.
to speak Spanish fluently.
to conquer my fear of skydiving.
what it is that’s really holding me back.
about as many cultures and religions as I can.

I want to see:
an adorkable smile as you take my hand.
my introverted friends rule their individual domains with certainty.
the sun set over an Italian village (where I am staying).
through the eyes of a child.
Ryan Reynolds at my front door. Seriously.

I want to try:
smoking pot one last time.
not giving my opinion when not asked for it. (snorty lala)
to eat Kosher for 30 days.
living a both a Christ-like and Buddha-inspired existence.
fugu, cause I’m a daredevil like that.

I want to tell:
him exactly how I feel.
stories that mean something to others.
the world to slow down so I can remember to breathe.
jokes without sounding like an epic failure.
you my secrets and know that you’ll still love me.

I want to touch:
ummmm…something I can’t tell you about?
your hair, even though you hate it. give it up, bitches.
ummmm…something else I can’t tell you about?
my kitty’s soft fur when he falls asleep on my lap.
the waves as they crash against me.

I want to smell:
gardenias in bloom
the ocean as it foams across my feet.
a man’s clean skin without cologne.
my hair when it’s fresh out of the ponytail and still squeaky clean.
Christmas. yanno, trees, wreaths, pine cones, cocoa, cookies, etc.

I want to feel:
loved
accepted
respected
beautiful and sexy
butterflies in my tummy

I want to stop:
the tapes that constantly play in my head.
wondering what people think of me.
beating myself up for my faults.
letting my insecurities matter as much as they do.
the world and melt with you.

I want to let go of:
old resentments.
the hold that years of manipulative guilt trips have over me.
the idea that dreams can’t come true. they totally can.
the past.
a whole lot of weight without losing my hot tits!

What do *you* want?

Serendipitous Kisses,
Me

Posted in Emotional Technology, Hilly's Life 2008, Memes and Quizzes | Comments (23)

Of Meat, Murder, and Militant Feminists…

July 31st, 2008

Holy Crap!  Has it actually been three whole days since my last blog post?  I feel like I should genuflect.  Of course, I am not one of those people who has actually vowed to post each and every day, even though it may seem like it at times.  I’ve generally always *wanted* to write something every day so this was a weird trek for me, especially since I’ve *been* at my computer every damned day.  I guess I’ve just had nothing worth saying.  Erm, wait a minute…did I just say that?  Me?  In any case, since I’ve not yet really been able to get my thoughts together on the post I really want to write (about sex and my views on it), I’ll just drop “bits of random” your  way to satiate your desperate hunger for my voice.  Oh, you don’t desperately hunger for my words?  Can we just pretend?  I thought so…

Dead Silence

I’ve recently rediscovered one of my phobias.  I’ve always prided myself on having one “thing” that scares the piss out of me.  Also?  That one thing is something that not a lot of people know about because I hide it so well.  Yes, my friends…I have an elevator phobia.  In fact, the last time Karl visited, we were all crammed in this service elevator on the Queen Mary and I cried because I felt so claustrophobic when the doors wouldn’t open.  But anyway, that is neither here no there.  My “bad ass bitch” status is going to be revoked soon because…well, I am also scared as shit of dummies.  You know, like the ventriloquist dummies?  Uh yeah.  Last night Karl and I watched a movie called “Dead Silence” and even though it was not the scariest thing I’ve seen technically, it was emotionally.  Holy fuckballs!  There were evil dolls and dummies turning their heads, talking, killing people.  I rarely scream at scary movies but last night, I was like a schoolgirl seeing a cock for the first time!  Even worse?  They had a ventriloquist clown dummy.  I thought I may lose my dinner right there.

Speaking of dinner, I actually cooked steak for the first time last night.  I must stop here and tell you that I am a fanfuckingtastic cook normally but when it comes to meat?  Errrrr.  Actually, wait a minute, I *can* make a damned fine pot roast but maybe that is because that is baked, not fried or grilled.  Last night, when asked to cook these huge steaks, I turned to the only place that I knew would help me out in a jiffy…no, NOT Google but rather Twitter.  I twatted that I had no idea how to cook steak and within minutes I had replies, direct messages and even a few people that contacted me via Google Talk.  It still floors me when I actually sit and think about what a powerful medium Twitter is, yanno…when used for good and not evil.  Last night, Karl and I were talking about when it would fade away into the nether and I think I’ve decided that it won’t be anytime soon.  Anyway, in case you are wondering…I used a George Foreman grill and my steaks were juicy and delicious.

Speaking of grilling and also of how I can relate the most fucked up subjects to one another, I want to dust off Snackie Radio for one week to talk about feminism.  How the HELL did I come down this road?  Hey, I’ll tell you!  The reason that I don’t know how to cook steak is that throughout my whole life, the man has always grilled up the steaks.  Whether it was my Dad or whatever current man I was dating, I was never really allowed to cook the steaks.  Okay, maybe “allowed” is a strong word, but I know that you know what I mean, jelly beans.  Also?  I always just said, “eh, that’s a guy’s job” without thinking twice.  I’ve always known that my feminism quotient is slightly less than some of the more erm, “militant” feminists and truth be told, I’ve always been okay with that.  I love gender equality and all that it stands for but oddly enough, part of me is still a traditionalist.  I love it when a man holds the door open for me or gives me his jacket because I am cold.  I’m okay with a household statement where the guy does all the barbecuing and the woman does something else that she is probably better at as well.  I don’t feel “held down” as a woman when some of these more traditional things pop up and if I did, I’d sure as hell say something.  However, I know that there are women out there chomping at the bit for more more more equality!  In fact, some people can blame the patriarch for every damned thing that happens to them, but not this girl.  I’m a true lover of men…take that how you want, I guess.  In any case, I’m going to do a show about this soon, but am not sure when.

That’s all she wrote, kids!  Or in other words…”Party’s over”, said the girl.  I swear that my next post about sex is going to be simply amazing and will have you on the edge of your seats!  Okay well, I mean…it will be somewhat riveting.  Well shit, interesting?  Erm, a good read?  I hate to set myself up to fail here, haha.

Double A Kisses,
Me

Posted in Hilly's Life 2008, Random Schmandom | Comments (29)

I’m A Sweet Piece Of Work…

July 28th, 2008

I vowed that I would never come to my blog and apologize for something blog related. Yet here I am, giving you the pouty lips and puppy dog eyes in the sincere hope that you will all forgive me for not really commenting on blogs as much as I usually do. I know that real life should ALWAYS take precedence over the Wide Wide World of Web but at the same time, I start to feel guilty when I neglect my friends and such. In any case, my two weeks of craziness has finally calmed down AND I am caught up on everything else I need to do so as of right now, my blog life will be back to normal (whatever *that* means!).

Moving right along…

I’ve been looking at a lot of pictures of myself today, and yanno…I totally am going to share some of my faves from DaveDiego while I tell you some things that I have decreed for myself today…ready?

Hilly and Dave by Karl

I’m tired of worrying about who thinks I look fat in a picture and/or who has something negative to say about that (oh and believe you me, certain assholes do).

I’m also not going to apologize that my boobs are constantly showing no matter what people think about that either. Here’s a clue (and no, I won’t buy it for you)…maybe I have insecurities about my body except when it comes to my boobs. So yeah, I wear boobie tops and let people stick money in my cleavage but I am not some slutty, needy, pathetic person who just wants attention (and yes, that’s been uttered behind “closed doors” as well).

Moreover, I won’t apologize for being myself…ever. A real friend will often confront you about things that you need to work on changing yet they will never ever ask you to stop being yourself. Sometimes I am silly, sometimes I am serious and yanno…sometimes I spend an evening sandwiched between two dudes (who happen to be friends). I like sandwiches anyway.

Last but not least, I won’t apologize for the days, moments or whatever when I totally think I’m cute…like in this picture here. Seriously, I only posted this picture because I think we’re both totally cute it in. What? You have a problem with that? I didn’t think so.

While a lot of this is tongue-in-cheek, as well as a pathetic excuse to post some pictures that I really like, there is complete and utter truth to my words. I’ve just suddenly realized once again that people are going to say what they want to about the things we all do. Whispers will happen, rumors will fly, gossip and negative energy will spew forth but at the end of it all…none of that matters. What matters is what you see and know in your own heart as well as the people who love you…just the way you are. I’m lucky as shit to have many that accept me the way I am and I really hope you do too. :)

Stuck In The Middle With You Kisses,
Me

PS - I stole all these images from Karl and Winter!

Posted in Friendship, Hilly On A Tangent, Hilly's Life 2008 | Comments (53)

Catching Up With…

July 25th, 2008

This is going to be a short bullety post because uh, I am still drained from yesterday’s dip in the deep end of the non-cryptic pool and honestly?  I don’t have too much to talk about today.  So yeah, let’s turn this mother out!

1.)  Karl and I made a video post yesterday.  It lives over at his place…won’t ya go check it out?  I think it’s pretty damned funny but then again, I could be biased since I am actually in the damned thing!

2.)  I just want to thank everyone for your comments yesterday and for your total love and support.  I am overwhelmed by how awesome and amazing everyone is being and really, it touched me in ways you can’t imagine.  In layman’s terms…I cried a lot yesterday (but the good kind of tears).

3.) People that I adore the fuck out of are slowly rolling into town (well San Diego anyway, but that is only a little drive for me).  Tomorrow, I will be rocking the city at DaveDiego as well as hanging out and doing lots of other stuff (like getting this guy really drunk).  I think fun will be had by all and yep, I’ll be a total photo whore.

4.) My boobs are big.  Seriously.  Also?  I play with my hair alot.  Seriously again.

See how lame I am today?  Nothing much on my mind but the stuff talked about yesterday and the stuff I am doing tomorrow.  Now if you’ll excuse me, my phone has rang five fucking times while posting this short ass blog post.  What.  The.  Fuck?

Just Can’t Get Enough Kisses,
Me

Posted in Hilly's Life 2008, Random Schmandom | Comments (20)

Reality Bites….

July 24th, 2008

When I said “I do”, I assumed that it would be forever.  I wasn’t a virgin but I wore white.   I felt that it was completely acceptable considering the fact that this felt like the “first time” finally feeling something greater than myself.  This was the happiest day of my life.  I remember feeling like the rest of the world had absolutely nothing on me.  No one could harm me.  Nothing could touch me.  I was invincible.  No, *we* were invincible.

I don’t know how it all fell down and went boom.  I really don’t.

There are a million things that I can blame on myself and maybe a hundred that I can blame on him.  I know that it takes two people to make or break a marriage but I’m telling you right now…I can’t fix whatever part of us broke inside of me no matter how hard I try.  And believe you me, I’m still trying even though it seems like a moot point these days.  It would be easier to not feel like a failure.  It would be simpler to have everything back to the way it was, or at least a new and improved version of that.  And honestly, I’d be a much better Hilly if I could throw away the box that contains my broken heart and start with a fresh one.

But that’s not realistic and besides, this hand-stitched yet crooked patchwork heart is what makes me well…me.

People keep asking me what’s going on with me lately and why I seem so down and “not myself”.  Other people joke about the increasingly cryptic nature of my blog posts.  I felt that it was time to come out of my secret garden and at least admit to you that one of the huge things that is going on right now in my life is this junk.  I don’t want to go into the details or exact nature because some of that stuff is just too private.  I fail to write about it here a lot because not only do I feel it is disrespectful to Shawn but also because I have in-laws that read this blog and well, you know.  Lastly, it’s too confusing and “back and forth” half of the time, as I guess all decisions of this nature can be.

Just when I think we’ve reached a point where I know what is going to happen, the road turns.  Then it turns again and again and again.  I just want to get off the merry go round of indecision and unhappiness and start living my life, no matter what that means.  I’m sleepwalking through my life, no matter how vibrant and fun-loving I seem on the outside.  I’ve gained a ton of weight that everyone is too polite to talk about…but we all know it’s true.  The weight gain is a hugely symbolic of my emotional state, FYI.  I’ve always lost really rapidly when I am happy and done exactly the opposite when I am not.  I’d also like to figure out a way to not wallow in self pity at the buffet table but that’s another post for another day.

The other day, Shawn paid off all of our debts.  He also paid off my car.  When all of that happened, it was decided that we need to finalize all of this once and for all.  Since Karl is here, the discussion was tabled until mid August when Shawn comes back from GenCon.  At first, I was opposed to the idea of having to decide everything right this second but when it comes down to it, I really need to learn how to rip off my band aids and just figure out what the hell I want out of my life.  I’m actually looking forward to this caucus as much as he is now…even though the answers all scare the living shit out of me.

So there you have it…nothing cryptic at all.  I feel so far out of my comfort bubble right now that I can literally feel my skin crawl.  You know what though?  I judge others for never being able to leap and yet here I sit, stuck in a moment or maybe even twenty.  It’s time to get real, live through the pain, and move forward…let’s just hope I can.

Simple Kisses,
Me

Posted in Emotional Diatribes, Hilly on Love, Hilly's Life 2008 | Comments (54)

Kicked Off My Shoes, Shut Reason Out…

July 23rd, 2008

I tend to blog in the moment.  Whatever is going on inside of my head and heart immediately spills out onto this page with a fervor and honesty like nothing you’ve ever seen.  Okay, maybe you’ve seen “fervor and honesty” elsewhere but still, you’re totally picking up what I’m putting down.  Today is one of those days that I just feel like dumping out my heart all over this page while I watch it bleed the color of every emotion contained within.  You know what though?  I’m not going to do it.  I am going to take the “raw” and the confusion and put it somewhere else until it stops hurting just a little bit, then I’ll say what I have to say.  Yanno…once I’ve calmed the fuck down and the words that come out of my mouth won’t be something by which I am embarrassed later.

This is a hard thing for me to do.  I’m stepping outside of my comfort bubble to be a better person and maybe grow a little today.  I just asked Karl if he is more likely to post in the moment or to wait until he’s gathered his thoughts…I mean, where emotional moments are concerned.  He thinks he waits.  He thinks that I never wait, yet mask everything I am trying to say under a very cryptic and layered costume.  He may just be right.

I’m not a thinker. I’m a feeler.
I don’t look. I leap.
I don’t walk. I run.

Sometimes being this type of a person gets you into trouble and other times it’s one of the best things in the world.  It’s about knowing when to just walk away, letting your words softly hit the floor behind you.  I’m slowly starting to realize that not everyone needs to hear how I feel about everything right this very second.  Maybe if we all slowed down and thought about what we want to say just a little bit more, we’d get along better?  Fuck if I know…I’m new to this “holding it in for a moment” business.  As you can tell, I’m not exactly doing *that* well at it either because I had to come here and at least say something.  I don’t know what to do with the pain when I’m not writing about it.  There are only so many tears a girl can cry, right?  There are only so many times a woman can wish she felt nothing as well.

What do you tend to do?  Do you blog right in your emotional moment or do you think about it all first?  And hey, even if you don’t blog…how do you handle real life shit that falls under these same categories as well?

This Post Is About Me And Not About Anything Else Kisses,
Me

Posted in Cryptic, Emotional Technology, Hilly's Life 2008 | Comments (28)

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