Archive for the ‘Rememberances’ Category

It’s Just Another Day, Where People Cling To Light…

September 11th, 2008

This is a retouched repost of my September 11, 2007 entry.  My sentiment is exactly the same a year later therefore so is this post…

Tragedy is awful and sometimes remembering it is even harder.  So many lives lost, so many victims of hate and intolerance…so much unnecessary pain.  I’m always baffled by the fact that people would kill in the name of their deity.  Absolutely nothing about that seems okay to me, but I’m just *me* and I don’t make the rules.  If I spend too much time dwelling on that part of it…the hatred, the terrorism, the callous plotting, the dying, the fear, the loss…it angers and depresses me to no end.  Sure this is something that happened *seven* years ago, but it doesn’t matter.  What’s the motto?  We’ll Never Forget.

Seven years later, no one can take back any of the negative that happened that day.  My heart still bleeds and clenches for every one of those lives that were lost and for the family members left behind.  However, there is a quiet power in embracing life and all that we have that is good around us.  It’s easy to take today and remember every negative aspect about it…why wouldn’t we? We’re human.

Today I choose to shut my mouth and just listen for any happiness in any room that I enter.  I take solace in my friends and the joy that they truly bring to my heart.  I am refusing to let any negative energy in and am going to pretend to be “That Girl” and stop and smell every rose and peek into every window.  Today I choose to live, love, laugh and hopefully remember that no matter what they tried, they did not break us.  They may have damaged all of us just a little bit, but never will they take away what it truly means to be an American…no, not the George Bush version of “American”.  Rather the people’s version, where we have the freedom to make choices that make us smile and dance rather than cry.

Today I honor those who tragically lost their lives and those who lived on without them by dancing.  Would you care to take my hand and join in?  In remembrance of 9/11, I give my love to all of you and no, I will never forget.

Love and Kisses,
Me

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Tiny Little Pieces Of The Girl….

June 23rd, 2008

So there’s been this meme going around for awhile.  It seems pretty basic to the untrained eye, I guess.  You post five simple questions on your blog, then answer them.  The five questions/thoughts are these:

1. What were you doing 10 years ago?
2. What five things are on your to-do list for today?
3. Snacks I enjoy…
4. Things I would do if I was a billionaire…
5. Places I have lived…

Seems straightforward enough, right?  Wrong!  When you hang out in the midst of extremely talented writers who twist and turn this shit to make it so much more than a list, you’re suddenly compelled to do the same thing.  Okay maybe *you’re* not, but I sure am.  So thanks to the beautiful way that kat! and Vahid handled this meme, I too have spun it in my own direction.  Each question is answered with a third person story and yes, they are about me.  Most of them are things that have happened, while two are pretty much fantasy (like, duh).  I just felt like stretching my legs a little while hoping that my experiment doesn’t suck!  So, here you go…

1. What were you doing 10 years ago?

“California Relay Operator 7398…go ahead”.

She sighed as she spent another fucking day at her dead-end job.  It sucked to be 26 years old and not have a game plan.  While it was a bit noble working for the California Relay Service for the Deaf, she had to face the facts.  She worked 14 hours a day in a call center environment, making only $7.00 an hour.  She absolutely had to get out.  In fact, she needed to start her whole life over.

Months earlier, she’d come home a day early from her Grandmother’s funeral in Sacramento.  She just wanted to find her fiance Rudi and have him hold her until the pain of loss washed away.  But she’d made the mistake of walking into her own home at the wrong time and catching Rudi fucking some bitch they both worked with.  At least she had been smart and kicked his ass out, leaving him to eat her dust as she gave up both him and the nursing career they had both started at the same time.

But that was then.  Six months seemed like forever to the girl who was now only in her mid twenties.  She started to realize that she was hiding away from life rather than being strong.  She needed a better job and maybe she was ready to love again.  But first, she had to take a call…or two…or a hundred.


2. What 5 things are on your to-do list today?

He walked past her, trying to see what she was scribbling on her little notepad.  She quickly covered it with her hand, in the same fashion that most children do.  He usually grimaced every time he saw the “H” shaped pad of paper come out of her purse because he always knew that somewhere on that list, there’d  be something for him to do.  This time was different…she wasn’t relying on him anymore and her “to-do” lists contained some sort of code that only she understood.  As he walked away, finally leaving her some peace and tranquility, she uncovered her notepad, lifting her hand and smiling at what was to come.  She reread the list aloud to make sure that she had not missed a thing.

“Map the Earth, create a pretty picture or two, write poetry or prose, let Tootie be my guide, dance with butterflies”.

Yep.  Her list was complete and no one could understand it unless they truly understood her.

3. Snacks I enjoy…

She sat at the edge of the bed, the crisp white sheets beneath her skin.  The ceiling fan caused a light breeze yet her goose bumps were caused by the anticipation of him.  As he walked behind her, she curled her legs underneath her body, indian-style and he gently tied the blindfold around her face.  He kissed the back of her neck and whispered into her ear, “no peeking“.  She giggled as he came to sit down beside her.  She suddenly felt something very sweet against her lips…the juice trickled into her mouth as he said, “Well?”.  After licking her lips, she replied, “That’s honeydew, honey-do!”.  He laughed at her homemade vocabulary as he always did.  She liked that.  One by one, he’d bring food to her lips and make her guess.   After the sweet sweet taste of honeydew, he’d switch it up by offering her salty tastes and then sweet again.  The food that passed her lips included bruschetta chips, sinful chocolate cake, popcorn, cupcake frosting, wheat thins, and….

“Are you ready for your last sweet, love?”, he softly asked.  The goosebumps took center stage once again and she quietly nodded her head yes.  She waited patiently for her next treat, assuming it would be ice cream because he knew how much she loved that.  Suddenly she felt his lips on hers, slowly kissing her as his hand lightly brushed her cheek.  After he pulled away, she grinned and said, “more…“.

4. Things I would do if I were a billionaire…

She grabbed her phone and dialed quickly.  She may have misdialed a few times in her excitement.  Finally, a voice on the other end!

“Pack your bags, bitch…we are SO outta here!  Yes, seriously!  I won a billion dollars and we’re going to travel the world.  I mean, that is…if you want to?  Great, go fill up your fucking pill box so that it lasts a few months.  When we get back, I’ll figure the other stuff out.  Yanno, I’ll buy things for people and donate some of this money to some good causes.  Oh and there’s that thing I want to do…get a full time chef and trainer to come to my house and help me until I’m skinny.  Hrm, I guess I’ll actually need to buy a house.   What?  Well yes, I want to be selfish just for a few months but then I’ll totally use my money to do good things for others.  Can you just pack your fucking bags and let’s go?   I need to fly and be free, and I need to do it with someone who expects nothing from me.  Foo’s married, so that leaves you!  ;) ”

5. Places I have lived…

“Start spreading the news….I’m leaving today“, she said.  Famous last words.  Almost as soon as she arrived in Queens, she longed to be back in the place where she had spent her entire life.  However, she was one of those tough cookie kind of chicks who embraced change and sticking by the choices she’d made.  And yet, she was only 18 years old and did not possess the fortitude to put up with much so she suddenly found herself singing, “California here I come…right back where I started from“.  Once arriving back in the most perfect state there is, she vowed never to leave again.  She had the Capital and the State Fair.  What more did a girl need?  Oh right….love.

Eventually, she moved twice for love and while one of those moves was a huge mistake, the other panned out pretty nicely.  “After that fiasco in Ohio, I vowed I’d never move for a man again“, she said as she unpacked her boxes, staring out into the hot Arizona sun.  “But I’m special“, he said, “because I am the man who is going to marry you“.  She agreed that he was something better than ice cream and that she’d follow him to the end of the Earth and back.  Apparently, as she found out two years later, the end of the Earth is located in Southern California.

Story Lady Kisses,
Me

Posted in Hilly Writes, Memes and Quizzes, Rememberances | Comments (22)

Breakfast Table In An Otherwise Empty Room….

March 25th, 2008

I’m the first one to roll my eyes quite mightily when someone uses the sins of their parents as an excuse to take place in cocksuckerry and douchebaggery.  A lot of us have had parents that really fucked us up though.  I think it’s safe to assume that no matter how much mental health one professes to have, there is a part of them that will always be shaped by incidences in the past.  For the record, I have no problem with that…that’s natural.  I think my eye-rolling begins when someone says, "Well I slept with your husband because my father abandoned me as a child".  Please, shut the fuck up now.

I’ve been shaped by my parents and notice it more and more every day.  I told a story the other night and immediately realized that I sounded exactly like my Dad….hell, even Shawn pointed it out.  The funny thing about it all is that I got most of my positive traits that I embrace from my Dad whereas the negative ones that I fight daily?  Gee, thanks Mom.  It’s hard when you open your eyes and realize that you have partially become exactly what you feared for so many years.  But hell, if you can at least recognize it, you are on your way to making changes to knock the shit off like…toot sweet.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Emotional Diatribes, In The Past, Rememberances | Comments (41)

Where’d You Go? I Miss You So……

September 11th, 2007

Wtc
Tragedy is awful and sometimes remembering it is even harder.  So many lives lost, so many victims of hate and intolerance….so much unnecessary pain.  I’m always baffled by the fact that people would kill in the name of their deity; none of that seems okay to me, but I’m just *me* and I don’t make the rules.  If I spend too much time dwelling on that part of it….the hatred, the terrorism, the callous plotting, the dying, the fear, the loss…..it angers and depresses me to no end.  Sure this is something that happened six years ago, but it doesn’t matter.  What’s the motto?  We’ll Never Forget.

Six years later, no one can take back any of the negative that happened that day.  My heart still bleeds and clenches for every one of those lives that were lost and for the family members left behind.  But there is a quiet power in embracing life and all that we have that is good around us.  It’s easy to take today and remember every negative aspect about it…why wouldn’t we?  We’re human.

Today I choose to shut my mouth and just listen for any happiness in any room that I enter.  I take solace in my friends and the joy that they truly bring to my heart.  I am refusing to let any negative energy in and am going to pretend to be "That Girl" and stop and smell every rose and peek into every window.  Today I choose to live, love, laugh and hopefully remember that no matter what they tried, they did not break us.  They may have damaged all of us just a little bit, but never will they take away what it truly means to be an American…..no, not the George Bush version of "American".  Rather the people’s version, where we have the freedom to make choices that make us smile and dance rather than cry.

If you think my choosing to embrace life today is dishonoring, think again.  I dance for everyone that was lost to us that day….care to take my hand and join in?  In remembrance of 9/11, I give my love to all of you and no, I will never forget.

Love and Kisses,
Me

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On A Break…..

June 7th, 2007

Due to an unexpected death of a loved one, I will be on a bit of a blogging hiatus for a little while. 

I’ve asked someone to handle Snackie Sunday for me, however he may not want to, so feel free to email me to let me know of your interest…if you have any, that is.

I’ll be back around next week once I’ve grieved and celebrated the life that left us.

Just Kisses,
Me

Posted in Rememberances | Comments (29)