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Snackie Sunday: My Incompetent Lateness And Yapping

September 7th, 2008

One…
Two…
Two and a half…
Two and three quarters…

She never gets to three. “She” being some random woman in our complex, counting down nightly in order to get her kid to go to bed. I hear her voice wafting whenever I go out on our patio to eat dinner. For some reason, it makes me smile every time because I imagine that’s the type of Mom I’d be…giving my wee one more chances than necessary because I’m just sure that he or she will do the right thing. Yanno, before I go ballistic.

There’s another woman that seems to scream at her husband a lot. You can sort of hear his muffled voice, probably asking her to calm down. From what I can deduct with my Mrs. Kravitz-like skills, he baits her and she reacts, looking like the looney. Have I mentioned that I have really good hearing? Anyway, the other night as they were yelling at each other, I could hear their kid scream, “Can you PLEASE be quiet? I’m watching Super Robot Monkey!” Hey, I don’t even know what a Super Robot Monkey is but I sympathize with the kid. No one should be talking during his “stories”, sheesh! Okay, I kid a little…maybe it bugs me because he shouldn’t hear his parents fighting. Maybe I totally relate.

You see, when my parents got divorced I was probably about 4 years old and I was hooked on the magic that was Sesame Street. I mean really, even back then I sat smack dab in front of the TV screen and got yelled at to move back more than not. The day my Dad left my mom, I remember them fighting. I also remember marching upstairs and politely asking if they could please shut the fuck up because Seasame Street was on. Yes, creative license…I probably didn’t use the words “shut”, “up”, or “fuck”. It occurs to me now that I was wayyyy too out of the loop about what was really going on, which is a good thing, right? However, I blame my parents for making me this crazy TV nazi who will hunt you down and kill you if you talk in the middle of her programs.

Huh what? I bet you this Snackie Sunday is soooo not going where you originally thought it would! Yeah yeah, I wanted to tell the story AND do the normal gig so sue me!

Anywayyyy, it’s time for…

WHAT’S YOUR STANCE ON TALKING DURING MOVIES AND/OR TV SHOWS?

Dude, as mentioned before…shut the fuck up if I am watching my shows. Thank GOD for Tivo because sometimes Shawn will come in with a fully legitimate question and I imagine that were it not for the pause button, there’d be a lot more, “shhhh…geez! I am watching a show here!”. And yeah, that’s good for no one. The only time talking is okay is during reality shows, quite honestly. In fact, I wish I had someone here to watch Amazing Race, Survivor and Big Brother with me all of the time, among other of those types of programs. However, if you open your mouth during Pushing Daisies, I will cut a bitch! As far as movies go, oy to the vey…no talking! At least don’t talk to *me*. There are times when a funny statement here and there are okay to me…like where there is a large audience at a funny movie. But hey, I don’t really go to movies all that much because I at least recognize that I am far too bitchtastical to deal with other people’s idiosyncrasies in a theater setting.

Your Turn Kisses,
Me

I apologize for posting this Sunday NIGHT. Maybe I should call it Snackie’s Manic Monday this week?

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Snackie Sunday: Use Your Words!

August 31st, 2008

Lately I’ve been all about the resurrection and revival of good things. Therefore, today we are going to play the second installment of a very a fun “word association game”. The best way to make this super radical badical is to see how many people come up with either tons of the same answers or tons of different answers for the same word! That means y’all playas need to well…..play! Try not to look at what anyone else has said before you comment!

Yeah, you know what time it is…

WHAT WORDS DO YOU ASSOCIATE WITH THE FOLLOWING?

[The rules are simple…you copy and paste the following words into the comment box. Then you answer each word that I have typed below with the FIRST word that comes into your mind. For example, if you said "snackie", I would say "poo" (written: snackie - poo). Easy enough, right??? Let’s play!]

1. bush
2. home
3. smelly
4. money
5. poker
6. lip
7. feel
8. very
9. be
10. dork
11. sexy
12. love
13. my
14. soft
15. hard
16. sock
17. lick
18. heart
19. hand
20. drama
21. temporary
22. barn
23. song
24. gamma
25. blue
26. Hilly

My answers will be in the comments section because I know how hard it is to come up with your own word when you have already got someone else’s all stuck in the nooks and crannys of your mine!

“That’s Telekinesis, Kyle” Kisses
Me

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A Bigger Bite

August 23rd, 2008

Heya, people! I’m Winter. Our favorite Snackstress is out of town for a few days visiting her family, so she asked me to come by and guest post for her. She didn’t realize I would come over here, plop my ass on her blog-couch, and try to figure out how I can get those cupcakes off of the tree. I mean, c’mon. Haven’t you ever looked at her blog template and gotten hungry?

I had a few ideas in mind when Hilly first asked me to do this. I know that all of you are used to her talking about her feelings a lot. You’re used to her being the Queen of Cryptic and the Snarkstress. I have had my fair share of being like that, but I’m not so much in that place in my life at the moment. So, I tossed out all my ideas for coming over here and baring my emotions and talking about “stuff”.

Then I saw Adam’s guest post for Karl’s Summer of Love. That gave me a really good idea. I mean, I am pretty good at swapping heads in Photoshop. I should totally be able to duplicate Adam’s efforts by replacing the heads in this photo with mine and Hilly’s.

Read the rest of this entry »

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Snackie Sunday Retro Revival: Culpa

August 10th, 2008

Cats and kittens, it’s that time of year again! Wait, what time? Blogiversary time! In one week from today, on August 17th, Snackie’s World will be turning three! I’ve been blogging for a lot longer than three years however if I am going to be true to a Blogiversary date for this blog, well yanno. As part of the whole celebration, I thought I’d dust off some old entries, try to revive them, compare what I wrote “way back when” to how I feel about things today, and so on and so on. Dontcha worry though, I’ll add some sort of pizazz to the whole rigmarole to make it way more exciting than “oh look, she’s posting an old entry”. Hey, some days I may just take an *idea* from an old entry and run with that! Anydiddle, without further adieu, let’s get to our first “revival”, shall we? Truth be told, this is one of my favorite Snackie Sunday questions, even though it was never the most popular. I think this one is a fun question to post again because a.) my readership has changed a ton in just a year and b.) I’m curious to see if all of our answers are the same a year later or if our vices have changed a wee bit over time, With that said, I bring to you this week’s “Retro Snackie Sunday!”

We all have our faults and we all have our vices. The Catholic Church even defines seven of them as “deadly” or “cardinal”. But what if you’re not Catholic? Does that matter? Not here…not today! Taking religious connotation out of the equation, we can still identify with those Seven Deadly Sins no matter which walk of life we come from Hell, they were even featured in the movie that Brad Pitt starred in before he got annoying….yanno, Seven.

The Seven Deadly Sins are as follows:

1. Lust
2. Gluttony
3. Greed
4. Sloth
5. Wrath
6. Envy
7. Pride

Holy cripes…if I *were* a Catholic, I’d spend a helluva lot of time genuflecting, that’s for sure! But since I’m not, I can take these at an every day value and tell you which one of them I am guilty of the most. Not that there’s much room between some of these in my personal bag of “woopsies” but still, if I had to pick just one it would be lust probably. Sure, sloth and gluttony are probably right behind lust but still…I have to base my decision some dude or chick on the street…lust! Every time I flirt flirt flirt…lust! Other stuff I just don’t talk about on my blog…lust! Lust lust lust, lusty lust! I guess I can just be thankful I am not most guilty of the original sin…Pride.

So my question for you today is:

WHICH OF THE SEVEN DEADLY SINS
ARE YOU MOST GUILTY OF COMMITTING???

Again, you don’t have to believe in the religious aspect of it all…if you are not religious, pretend you are watching the movie Seven and you just have to make that choice! Oh and for the record, my answer is exactly as it was a year ago, maybe even more so…zoinks!

Slutty Kisses,
Me

ETA: For those of you who want to see if you answered last year and what you said, AFTER you answer today, here is the link!

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Snackie Sunday: Put My Lover On A Shelf…

August 3rd, 2008

I’ve been really lax on my reading this past year and I totally intend to change that. The other day, I finally went in and updated my Goodreads profile, then tooled around looking for book suggestions and quotes that I like. I’m always saying that I just don’t have the time to sit down and read, but that is a pile of horse shit, really. The problem is that I’ve not been able to properly shut off my head long enough to read something without my mind wandering to whichever beast I need to slay next. Somehow and some way, I have got to just sit down and let everything go, submerse myself into the story and just…breathe.

Yep, you guessed it! Time for…..

1. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BOOK OF ALL TIME?
2. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU CURRENTLY READING?

My favorite book of all time? Really that’s a tie between Jane Eyre and Of Mice and Men. Yes, I like the classics. Jane Eyre touches every romantically adventurous bone in my body while Of Mice and Men speaks in quiet volumes that simply resonate months after reading it. So yeah, love those books.

What am I reading now? As I said before, I have been slowly making my way through my reading so I’ve been on the same book for about a month now (it usually takes only an afternoon). However, the book I am reading is so freaking good that I don’t mind cracking it open once a day to read a chapter and giggle my little heart out. “What book is that?”, you ask. Well it is a book called The Year of Living Biblically: One Man’s Humble Quest to Follow The Bible as Literally as Possible by A.J. Jacobs. I can’t even begin to tell you how amazingly funny this book is. Besides all of the religious knowledge that I am gaining by reading it, the fact that I giggle at almost every other page impresses the hell out of me. Even if you are not a deeply religious or spiritual person, I think you will get a lot out of this book. Knowledge is power and A.J. manages to give you that knowledge without cramming any sort of religious view down your throat. Here’s an excerpt:

The Hebrew scriptures prescribe a tremendous amount of capital punishment. Think Saudi Arabia, multiply by Texas, then triple that. It wasn’t just for murder. You could also be executed for adultery, blasphemy, breaking the Sabbath, perjury, incest, bestiality and witchcraft, among others. A rebellious son could be sentenced to death. As could a gluttonous or a drunkardly son.

The most commonly mentioned punishment method in the Hebrew Bible is stoning. So I figure, at the very least, I should try to stone. But how?

I can’t tell you how many people have suggested I get adulterers and blasphemers stoned in the cannabis sense. Which is an interesting idea. But I haven’t smoked pot since I was at Brown University and I wrote a paper for my anthropology class on the hidden symbolism of bong hits. (Brown was the type of college where this paper actually earned a B+).

Instead, I figured my loophole would be this: the bible doesn’t specify the size of the stones. So…pebbles.

A few days ago, I gathered a handful of small white pebbles from Central Park, which I stuffed in my back pants pocket. Now all I needed were some victims. I decide to start with Sabbath breakers. That’s easy enough to find in this workaholic city. I noticed a pot-bellied guy at the Avis down our block had worked on both Saturday and Sunday. So no matter what, he’s a Sabbath-breaker.

Here’s the thing, though: Even with pebbles, it is surprisingly hard to stone people.

My plan had been to walk nonchalantly past him and chuck the pebbles at the small of his back. But after a couple of failed passes, I realized it was a bad idea. A chucked pebble, no matter how small, does not go unnoticed.

My revised plan: I would pretend to be clumsy and drop the pebble on his shoe. So I did.

Anyway, I highly reccomend that you check out ALL of the books I have mentioned here today. And I am also hoping that by you gracing me with your “Snackie Sunday” presence, I will learn of more amazing things to read as well!

Disco Funkstar Kisses,
Me

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Snackie Sunday: Booze Whores Unite!

July 27th, 2008

It’s no secret that I was at DaveDiego last night and it’s also no secret that thanks to Vahid, I was also slightly drunk. Since we were at a bar called “Whiskey Girl“, I decided that I’d go ahead and yanno…drink whiskey. What was the drink of choice? Whiskey Sours! The funny thing is that I’ve changed my “signature drink” quite a bit lately. I mean, it used to be that you’d see me going up to a bar and you’d know that I’d come away with a Lemon Drop, no doubt about it. I’ve been changing booze lately like I’ve been changing panties so yanno, let’s just get my booze whore status up to a whole new level by using it as Snackie Sunday’s latest and greatest!.

Before I do though, I have to say that DaveDiego was a blasty blast! I know that there are pictures trickling in slowly but surely (since most sane people are either asleep or at ComicCon) so I will post links to them later this week! I do have to say that Dave was, as always, a generous host as well as a drunken little funbag. Also, let me swoon over this one more time…Vahid actually took off his shirt so that Motley could wear it when she got really cold. Yeah yeah, he had another shirt on underneath but still…it is hard to find men so debonair in this day and age! I think we all had a really great time last night, booze or no booze. Even after Dave and Vahid turned into pumpkins and went back to their hotel room, the rest of us decided we’d hit up this local “boho” art show, which was interesting as well. At one point in time, I was sitting on a couch in the loft turned gallery, thinking to myself, “Life is good and with friends like these, you’re going to be okay no matter what rocky roads lie ahead.”. And for a moment or two, it was nice to feel loved and accepted, just the way I am. Okay wait, this just got sappy and it’s supposed to be about booze, dammit.

Let’s move on to…..

WHAT IS YOUR COCKTAIL OF CHOICE?
(or virgin cocktail if you are sober and stuff)

First of all, I just want to say that I know some of you don’t drink. You can still tell me what your favorite non alcoholic drink is if you want to. I am an equal opportunity question asker, don’t ya know? Moving on…as I mentioned before, I was a Lemon Drop whore for a long long time. Somehow I switched to being all about margaritas earlier this year. However, there is one drink that I ALWAYS come back to, no matter how ghetto it may be. I love the simplicity of Captain Morgan Spiced Rum and a little bit of fruit punch. Of course, I generally only drink that at *home* so I guess I’m still searching for a new drink that i can guzzle down at a bar. Hrm, maybe I will go back to Amaretto Sours for awhile? Or maybe….I might just get an idea from one of your cute asses!

Bad Monkey Needs A Cupcake Kisses,
Me

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Snackie Sunday: The Caffeination Station

July 20th, 2008

A long time ago, when interviewing for a job at a Wellness Center, I was told that getting tired mid-afternoon could actually be a sign of dehydration. Therefore, instead of reaching for my caffeinated beverage of choice, I should reach for a tall drink of delicious water and forget about the other stuff. Uh, right…sure thing. While I definitely believe in super-hydration and know that yes, a lack of water can make you tired, I’m never ever ever ever ever giving up my caffeinated elixir of choice! Yanno, especially since I already drink about 100 oz. of water a day anyhow. Besides, I’m caffeine’s whore and I’m not ashamed to admit it.

Of course, it’s time for…..

WHAT IS YOUR CAFFEINATED BEVERAGE OF CHOICE?

Coffee? Tea? Me? Soda? Caffeinated Waters? Something completely crazy like those mixed energy/caffeine drinks? Tell me, please because the whore in me just *has* to know! My number one “go to” fix for caffeine is coffee, hands down. I’m the type of person that drinks morning and afternoon coffee almost every damned day. I love diet soda but I’m not sure it ever really does much for me in the “alertness” department. And tea? Well quiet honestly, meh….not a big lover of tea. The other day, I completely spazzed out and had a positive mood swing after drinking one of those energy drinks but holy crap, they are somewhat scary-powerful! So yeah, coffee for me…generally with just a bit of milk and the yellow stuff (Splenda)!

Slightly Hungover And Embarassed By Pictures Kisses,
Me

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Snackie Sunday: Humpty Dumpty

July 13th, 2008

I feel bad for writing all about my mental and physical issues but not taking the time to answer everyone in comments. You see, I’ve got this little fractured wrist thing going on so both my desire and ability to type are somewhat limited. A quick update though…that talk I needed to have? Yeah, it went just fine and even though I felt like a paranoid freakshow, when all was said and done, I believe that my bond with that person was actually made stronger. So yeah, thanks for the advice to just ask the tough questions. Secondly, my wrist is well…fucked. I spent all of Thursday going between Orthopedics and Radiology because they could not for the life of them figure out if the Xray showed a hairline fracture or not. Long story short, I ended up being treated for the fracture, given lots of yummy medicines and sent home with a very specific treatment plan, blah blah. And yanno, even though this is just a “hairline” fracture, it’s the first time in my life that I’ve even sorta kinda broke anything!

Which, of course, leads us to….

Snackie Sunday

HAVE YOU EVER BROKEN ANY BONES AND/OR HAD MAJOR SURGERY?
(DETAILS PLEASE!)

As I’ve already mentioned, I have never broken a damned thing in my life (uhh, in a world where “thing” equals “bone”). Sure, I’ve had every crazy tendinitis, carpal tunnel and radial tunnel surgery around but nope, never any broken bones! The only other real surgery I’ve ever had was my tonsillectomy, when I was like FIVE. To this day, even though it’s not really surgery at all, the most heinous medical thing I’ve ever gone through are my spinal taps….those have killed me every time.

Anyway, your turn! Oh and, just as a totally semi-related aside…I know I am behind on blog commenting and I truly apologize. I am doing the best I can with the limited time I am allowed to use my wrist, dammit fucking shit. Just know that I *am* reading everything!

Soma Kisses,
Me

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Snackie Sunday: A Very Important Date…

July 6th, 2008

I’m pre-posting this entry too! I’m a crazy maniac on a mission, I tell you! One thing that often happens when I *am* on a mission is that I lose track of time. I absolutely *hate* losing track of time because that often makes me late. When I start running late, I end up rushing through things that I probably shouldn’t, therefore forgetting things or sometimes even losing them.

So uhhh, yeah….

Snackie Sunday

DO YOU RUN LATE, EARLY OR ARE YOU GENERALLY ON TIME?

Here’s the deal with me…I hate being late and I detest it even more when others are constantly late. I generally tend to run on the early side of “on time” most likely because my Dad has always been that way too. I’m sort of that freakshow that plans it so that she gets there exactly at the meeting time. It’s both a skill and a very scary character trait! Living in Southern California has taught me that it’s okay if I am 5-10 minutes late because everyone else is…well, here they are. When I am other places, I have to remember that I’m not on “SoCal Standard Time” at all! However, if someone else tells me they are going to meet me *at* noon and then they show up at 12:23? I’m fucking irritated. Conversely, if they say *around noonish*, then I expect them to be up to an half hour late. I know, right? So many rules, so little time…

Down The Rabbit Hole Kisses,
Me

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Snackie Sunday: Gods And Monsters…

June 29th, 2008

Somehow my friend and I got on the subject of Sesame Street the other day. While talking about the show and all of the memories it holds, I said, “That fucking Big Bird is a total tool, by the way…always has been”. When my friend agreed with me, I started wondering how many other people out there wished that Big Bird would get struck with the Avian Flu and just uh, erm…go away. Of course, less radical people would be all polite and just say, “Oh that bird wasn’t exactly my favorite character but I wish him no harm”. A clue: he’s a muppet.

With that said, it’s time for….

Snackie Sunday

WHICH SESAME STREET CHARACTER IS/WAS YOUR FAVORITE?
WHICH SESAME STREET CHARACTER DO YOU DISLIKE?

Some of you may not have “issues” with the cute little muppets of Sesame Street, but I’m sorry…I do. As mentioned before, Big Bird can suck me. Unlike a lot of people who want to throttle Elmo though, I actually like the little dude. Of course, I never really paid attention to that whole “Elmo craze” that went on during the last decade. If I have to pick an absolute favorite, I choose Grover. That cute little blue monster is funny, speaks correctly, is a total spaz and is the most affectionate, hug loving little dude around. Besides, he’s also SUPER GROVER so that makes him doubly cool cause yanno, Super Grover is helpful!

To show my deep love for Grover, I’ve attached two very different videos of him. The first is a “classic Sesame Street” montage and the next is a more recent ditty of Grover appearing on Jimmy Kimmel Live (with hunk Tim Daly too!). The second clip cracks my shit up! Enjoy, then tell me all about your Sesame Street likes and dislikes!