Archive for the ‘Total Tardage’ Category

Bigger, Longer, And Uncut…

June 28th, 2008

The longer my hair grows, the more I wake up each morning with ratty “sex head”.  However, am I actually *having* the sex?  A clue: no.  I guess that’s just the way things are when they become bigger, longer and uncut.  I know there’s a “that’s what she said” in there somewhere.  Go ahead and rock the innuendo…I know I would!

In any case, another thing that has become completely unmanageable for me lately is my blog roll.  Oh, and my feed reader….so I guess that makes two things!   For those of you who are about to throw a hissy tizzy, don’t hit the “back button” just yet.  This is not a blog about blogging but rather about the state of my blog.  Go ahead, say that fast ten times in a row!  Anydiddle, do you know how many ways there are to stalk people (i.e. how many feeds one person could potentially have)?  Let me show you by using my various feeds as an example (therefore whoring myself out in a “sneaky” manner):

BLOG FEED FOR SNACKIE’S WORLD
COMMENT FEED FOR SNACKIE’S WORLD
HILLY’S TWITTER FEED
HILLY’S FLICKR FEED
HILLY’S LAST FM MUSIC FEED
SNACKIE RADIO FEED

Crap, I am sure there are even more but those are all I know off of the top of my head because…*hangs head in shame*…I follow those feeds in my reader. Yep, I like to know what other people see and also I like to check in to make sure they are all working.  Don’t call me Narcissus quite just yet though! I usually “mark all read” and move on to the real feeds.

Which brings me to my point! Wait, I had a point? Ahhh yes, and here it is…this weekend I am cleaning up my blog roll and my feed reader(s). It’s time to just get everything organized before I go crazy up in this bitch. My biggest problem is that I will go to read a blog, love it, comment on it, send myself an email to add it to my feed reader when I get home, completely forget that email and then whammo bammo! Why yes, I could just add it to Google Reader then feed it to Feed Demon later and that’s the plan, Stan. But first…I must become more organized.

This is where YOU come in! Please check my blog roll to make sure you are there and that your feed is correct. Yes, I know…I ask an awful lot of you but I give back too…yanno, mostly. I don’t care if you read my blog from your lurkey turkey abode or if you are loud and proud with comments, you need to be on my blog roll so speak up if you are NOT there, mmm’kay? What else? Oh yes, do you have any secret feeds that you think I should be stalking or any blogs that you think I just must read? Spit it out today because once I am done revamping this weekend, I’ll bury my head in the sand…again. FYI, if you think you should be on my blog roll and are not? Don’t take it personally at all. I update that once in a blue chicken-fried moon!

Anyway, structure…Hilly needs a little structure today apparently.

Twitchy Kisses,
Me

Posted in Organization Station, Total Tardage | Comments (14)

Baby, I’ve Got A Crush On You…

October 6th, 2007

No really, I do have a crush on someone.  So much so that I emulated him yesterday in the sincere hope that I could be just as cool and well-known as he is.  You see he’s got game, but not the kind of game you normally think of.  Nope, his game is falling down and his name is Humpty Dumpty.  While I’m sure my crush on him is just a passing fancy that allows myself not to feel like such an asshat for tumbling down a flight of stairs, it feels good to know that he and I share a connection and that someone else has been where I am today.

*snort*

In all seriousness, I’m not sure but I think I once posted about my jacked-up ankle but never thought I did get back to you all with the diagnosis.  You see, apparently my arch is impotent (for lack of a better word) therefore my foot spreads out flat with I stand up.  This, my pretties, causes my Achilles tendon to work overtime and my left leg seems to be bearing the brunt of it all.  Right now, my Achilles Tendonitis is so close to tearing that it’s not even funny.  In fact the ER doctor yesterday gave me these new anti-inflammatory* drugs and told me to ice my leg every single time I get back from work and/or other activities where I walk around.  Gee, you mean like every minute of every day?  If I don’t take it a bit easier, I could end up having major surgery and then could be in a cast for 6 months…uh, no thanks.  It’s bad enough that the man ordered me some orthopedic inserts to put in my shoes and that he expects me to wear them.  "But you will have to wear flat shoes for awhile", he said.  I almost fainted right then and there, not from the pain itself.

Meanwhile back to Humpty Dumpty and why I was at the ER in the first place.  My ankle hurt like hell yesterday and gave out as I was coming down the stairs at work, holding a few boxes of presentation folders and materials, mind you.  As I fell the length of about 8 stairs and tumbled with all of the grace and glory that one can muster in that situation, a coworker walked by and said, "hey are you okay?" then walked on.  Ahhh, more illustration of why I love that place ( as sarcasm oooozes from my body).  So I walked into my boss’ office, told her what happened and she immediately sent me to the ER on the company dime….not because she was concerened that I was crying and hurt, but mostly so that I would not sue their asses.  Geez, what kind of asshole does she think I am?  I would not sue someone when I feel due to a condition that I know I already had.  Long story short, I spent a bit of time in the ER then came home.

Meanwhile, along with my anti inflammatory drugs, I was given these crazy assed super duper pain pills that not even *I* have taken before.  They did the trick but I was so loopy and giggle-riffic last night, as a certain someone that I was emailing back and forth with all evening can most definitely verify.  I ended up passing out while trying to watch Doctor Who around like 9:30 or so and woke up this morning in so much pain in so many places that I cannot even begin to ask you to kiss my boo-boos cause you’d be kissing my body all day long.   Oooooh, wait…..

No One In The ER Looks Like George Clooney Kisses,
Me


*Meloxicam Side Effects may include: constipation, diarrhea, gas, heartburn, nausea or vomiting….good times.

Posted in Health and Wellness, Hilly's Life 2007, Total Tardage | Comments (16)

Every Finger In The Room Is Pointing At Me!

September 18th, 2007

This is the post that will make many of you question why you are friends with me.  I know it….you’re going to read this and run screaming for the hills because the more I think about it, I’d like to claim my own mini-mountain!

Ironically, after yesterday’s post, I feel quite cute today.  I found some brown cords, a sleek top and some killer chunky sandals.  I also flat-ironed my hair, which is getting quite long, I might add.  But anyway, back to the awesomest outfit ever (for today).  I was so stoked at how cute I looked that I new something was bound to ruin it.

I decided to eat a Colon Blow Muffin (Trader Joe’s bran muffin) for breakfast while I cruised my email for a bit.  Suddenly, and without warning, a blueberry found it’s way into the wrong pipe and before long I was choking so hard that I had water flowing out of my eyes.  I mean, it was the "cough choke" so I wasn’t scared but still.  I also apparently needed to go pee because each time I gag-coughed, I felt a little tinkle escape my bladder. 

"Oh shit, my cute pants!", I thought as I quickly ripped them off before it became an "I peed my pants" issue.  But with one final death cough, my underwear got the brunt of the pee.  That ticked me off to no end cause that meant I’d have to go all the way back up five flights of stairs to get a new pair.  It was then that I devised the brilliant plan of putting them in the dryer so they would not be wet anymore.  I know, I know….I’m getting to the light bulb moment.  After making sure that my hoo-ha-tastic area was clean, I sat on my computer chair bareback and read some email.  Finally it hit me that I just put pee-soaked panties in a dryer without even thinking about the fact that they’d come out dry but stankin’ like not-so-yummy juice and they’d still be dirty.

But for just that brief moment, I really had the idea that all I had to do was toss them in the dryer.  Wow, just wow.  I started to feel like Della, the peepee girl from grade school!  I clearly have no idea what I was thinking! 

Oh and just for your information, I did end up going up and getting new panties, plus sticking an extra pair in my bag for work.  Who *doesn’t* need extra panties at work?

I Swear My Panties Smell Like Freshness Kisses,
Me

PS - Today is Karl’s real birthday, cause I fudged the dates a little last week so go give him love.  Also check it out…..I will be the guest star on his Birthday Blog Talk Radio tonight, in case you have any questions about panties…or anything else ;)

Posted in Total Tardage | Comments (31)